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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23537275">Shirley's Law</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HooahSergeant/pseuds/HooahSergeant'>HooahSergeant</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Law Series [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Glee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternative Universe - FBI, Cop Drama, F/F, FBI Agent Quinn Fabray, Family Drama, Future Fic, Original Character(s), non-linear time line</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:47:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>65,108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23537275</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HooahSergeant/pseuds/HooahSergeant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of stories and blurbs set in the The Law series</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Law Series [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1693714</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The First Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So what’s the occasion?” Ryan asked with genuine curiosity as he slipped into the booth next to Allison with a cheeky grin and cold beer in hand. He’d gotten a call from Quinn shortly after work all but demanding he meet her and Rachel down at Murphy’s. She’d half grumbled into the phone and he’d only really heard ‘bar’, ‘won’t stop bouncing’, ‘her highness commands’, and ‘celebration’.</p><p>He’d charmed Allison into tagging along with him, which for him was the best part. Not that he didn’t like seeing his friends, but any excuse to hang out with his sort-of girlfriend was one he didn’t waste.</p><p>Across from him Quinn only sighed and squeezed her wedge of orange into her frothy blue moon. She glance up at him, rolled her eyes, and shrugged. “You’re guess is as good as mine, Marine. I panicked for a good three minutes because I thought I’d forgotten some anniversary - and before you comment may I remind you who we’re talking about? Rachel has a party to celebrate almost everything. I have a horse calendar to prove it.”</p><p>Allison snicked under his arm and he beamed down at her before raising his glass in a toast. “To Broadway diva’s and their wacky antics!”</p><p>“Here, here,” Allison agreed along with Quinn. The trio knocked their glasses together and then tilted them up into respective mouths. </p><p>“Oh hello Ryan, Allison,” Rachel chirped in greeting as she bounced back to the table. She set down a tray of shots and scooted into the booth besides her girlfriend. “I’m glad you’re here!”</p><p>“We never miss a party, and certainly never a Rachel Berry party,” Allison smiled over at her friend and nudged Ryan who choked on his mouthful of pale ale and nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, Tadpole, we love you and your spontaneous parties.”</p><p>Quinn quirked an eyebrow at him, but Rachel only brightened and clapped her hands together.</p><p>“So what are we celebrating anyway?” the blonde agent finally asked, breaking the awkward silence before she lifted her beer for another long swallow.</p><p>“I lost my virginity on this day,” Rachel said.</p><p>Quinn choked, sputtered, coughed, and liberally sprayed herself and the table with her beverage.</p><p>“What?” she cried when she could speak again, citrusy beer dripping off her chin as she turned wide eyes on her crazy girlfriend. The brunette nodded slowly at the wide eyed looks being cast her way, lost off in some whimsical memory. “Rachel, you’re joking, right?”</p><p>“No, I’m serious. I, Rachel Berry, lost my virginity on this day during our Senior year of High School.”</p><p>Ryan stared back and forth between Rachel and Quinn, noting the redness tinging his partners face and the oblivious look on Rachel’s. He spared a glance down at Allison and found the blonde pursing her lips and staring intently at the ceiling. Her body shook a little against his and he knew she was holding back guffaws. </p><p>Allison, who spent quite a bit of time with Rachel, appeared the least affected by the diva’s Berryisms, no doubt more than used to them by now. </p><p>Quinn was not handling it as well.</p><p>“Rachel, why would you bring me out here to celebrate you having sex with Finn Hudson!” </p><p>He knew that look, that wasn’t just embarrassment coloring Quinn’s cheeks, it was anger. Jealous anger. He cleared his throat and reached out to tap Quinn’s hand, hiding the gesture by continuing past her hand to grab a handful of napkins to blot up the beer on the table. She blinked at the contact and glared at him. Ryan shook his head, barely moving it, but she would see - she always saw.</p><p>Rachel seemed to catch on to her girlfriends mood and frowned. She wrapped her tiny fingers over Quinn’s and tried to duck her head to look in her eyes. Quinn was having none of it and dodged the contact, jaw working furiously.</p><p>“Quinn, I didn’t think it would bother you. It was years ago! Besides, I always have a little remembrance when the date rolls around. You only lose it once you know, it’s something important and special - it should be remembered.”</p><p>“You only lose your wisdom teeth once too, but that’s not really something I like to celebrate,” Ryan remarked gently. Allison turned her face into his shoulder, still trembling with poorly contained glee. </p><p>“So once a year you think about Finn having sex with you?” Quinn growled.</p><p>“Not like that, Q,” Rachel assured her, and wiped the beer off of the blondes face with a half-smile. “It was a big thing for me to do then, and I like to think about how awkward and silly it was. It makes me smile, you know, thinking about my High School self and the bumbling boy who was my High School sweetheart.”</p><p>Quinn drained her beer faster than Ryan had ever seen and then glowered at the empty glass like it was the beers fault it was gone so soon. “I need another drink.”</p><p>“Quinn!” Rachel cried as she was nudged out of the booth. She didn’t answer, just stalked off towards the bar. “I already bought shots,” the brunette finished lamely, pouting at the full glasses on the table before her.</p><p>“Rachel?” Allison prompted gently. “Maybe you should try looking at this from Q’s perspective? I’m sure you didn’t mean anything by it and really do fondly remember this day, but how would you feel if Quinn threw a party in honor of the day she lost her v-card?”</p><p>“But Quinn lost her virginity to Noah Puckerman after he got her drunk,” Rachel replied, brow furrowing as she fiddled with a shot glass. “It didn’t really end well for her, so I could understand why she wouldn’t want to celebrate it.”</p><p>“Yeah, but sweetie,” the diva’s cast-mate shook her head, blonde hair rippling beautifully in the low lighting. “Would you like to think about Quinn having sex with someone other than you?”</p><p>Rachel bristled and then her mouth fell open. “Oh, oh no!”</p><p>“Exactly, she gets it.” Allison winked up at Ryan and wiggled her way further into his side. “So now how are we going to salvage this party?”</p><p>“I have an idea,” Rachel declared and jumped from her seat when Quinn stomped back with a full pitcher and bowl of orange slices.</p><p>“What are discussing now? Where the blessed event took place?” she filled her glass and drained it with barely a grimace. Ryan smothered the urge to whoop and high-five his partner for her previously hidden frat boy talents.</p><p>Seriously, that shit was impressive.</p><p>“Quinn, I realize that I’ve made you uncomfortable and upset you.”</p><p>“Oh, you noticed that?” the blonde tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at the foaming head on her beer.</p><p>“If I may, I think maybe I have a solution.”</p><p>Allison and Ryan looked at each other, both arching an eyebrow.</p><p>“I feel like I’m about to watch a seriously nasty UFC fight,” Ryan murmured down at her. Allison nodded, then grinned widely.</p><p>“Should we place bets on how this will turn out?”</p><p>“Al, you’re amazing,” Ryan snickered. “What’d you have in mind?”</p><p>She leaned up and whispered hotly against his ear and he felt a smarmy grin stretch his cheeks.</p><p>“You’re on.”</p><p>“Ahem, if you two are finished with your conspiring,” Rachel interrupted primly, then turned back to her still fuming girlfriend. “Quinn, what if we discuss our respective love lives, you know the one’s that ended and somehow led us to each other?”</p><p>Quinn sighed again, this time more heavily, but she bobbed her head back and forth as she contemplated the offer. There was a good chance that all this talk of exes and sex would work out in her favor by the end of the night. And a high probability that Rachel might feel the slightest bit of what she was in the moment. </p><p>“Fine. Ask me.”</p><p>The diminutive diva cleared her throat and pulled her hands away from Quinn’s arm, she knocked back a shot for courage and then spoke directly to the table. “How many people have you been... intimate with?”</p><p>Ryan snuck a shot from the middle of the table and passed it to Allison before snagging his own and tossing it down his throat. This was going to be so good.</p><p>“Wait, are you asking how many relationships I’ve had? Or just how many people I’ve slept with?”</p><p>Rachel’s mouth flapped a couple of times while Quinn regarded her cooly, pale fingers clutching tight to her fresh beer.</p><p>“You need to make a distinction?” she asked shrilly and threw back the left over shot when all Quinn did was arch her eyebrow again.</p><p>“I’m just saying, in the spirit of full disclosure, I need to know what you’re asking specifically. I’d hate to just drop something on you.”</p><p>“Sorry but - you guys really didn’t discuss this when you first started dating? I mean Rachel didn’t make you fill out some sort of survey?” Allison bit her lip at the mirrored expression on both women’s face.</p><p>“That... is brilliant!” Rachel said. “I can’t believe I didn’t think about that!”</p><p>“Thanks a lot, Al,” Quinn groaned and sucked down half her beer. This was so not her night.</p><p>Allison shrugged, “it just seems like a very Berry thing to do.”</p><p>“You’re right, that would’ve been very thorough of me. We didn’t even discuss sexual histories before we engaged in intercourse, Quinn, that seems very irresponsible now that I think about it.”</p><p>The blonde agent groaned again, the sound muffled by the glass pressed to her mouth. “Oh my God, can this night please go away?”</p><p>“Quinn, you still haven’t answered my question.”</p><p>“I’m thinking,” Quinn hissed. “Counting High School?”</p><p>“Of course, though I’m confident I know all of your High School encounters. The McKinley High gossip network is quite vast and very informative.”</p><p>“If I ever see Jacob Ben-Israel again, I’ll tar and feather him,” Quinn grumped. “Fine. So I’ve had three flings and six relationships. Though I’d really only count four of those as lasting, real, relationships. With actual serious feelings involved. And I’m not counting you. So that would make for five serious relationship - relationships. All of those happened out of Ohio. Thank God.”</p><p>Rachel’s jaw fell open again and Quinn giggled at the slack-jawed expression.</p><p>“What? You wanted to know! How many have you had?”</p><p>“Including you? Serious, feelings involved relationships? Three!”</p><p>Quinn shrugged. “You’re the one who was waiting until twenty-five to have sex.”</p><p>“I - you! I don’t - that’s not fair! How do you even know about that?”</p><p>“‘The McKinley High gossip network is quite vast and very informative’.”</p><p>“Uh-oh,” Allison whispered.</p><p>Rachel snatched Quinn’s half-full beer from her and poured it down her throat. Ignoring Ryan’s hoot of approval, and slammed the empty glass back down.</p><p>“Rachel?” Quinn bit her lip and turned to face her girlfriend. “You’re the one that brought it up.”</p><p>“I’m, ugh,” Rachel responded and flapped her hand. She hadn’t thought about it, not really. Allison was right, the idea of someone else touching Quinn was upsetting her - irrational though it was.</p><p>“Rach, they don’t matter.” Quinn shuffled closer and dropped her chin on Rachel’s shoulder. She nuzzled against dark hair and the tan ear peeking out of the locks. “Come on. Do you understand why I was so unhappy? I don’t sit and reminisce about them. Sometimes something will pop up in my memory, but it’s fleeting. You’re the only one I want to celebrate being with.”</p><p>“Oh boo,” Ryan teased and tossed some pretzels at the cuddling couple. </p><p>“I agree, where’s the bloodshed?” Allison joined in, throwing her own handful of munchies at her friends.</p><p>“I just, I wanted it to be special, you know? I guess, to be honest, when I really think about it - it wasn’t spectacular. Everyone always made such a big deal of losing their virginity! And I wasn’t the impressed when it was all said and done with. I wanted it to live up to all the hype, so I try and celebrate it. Does that make sense?” Rachel turned around so her nose bumped against Quinn’s and peered up at her now smiling girlfriend through her bangs.</p><p>“Of course it does. I have a better idea though, how about tonight we celebrate you and me and Ryan and Al? How about we celebrate something that really matters? Friends and family.”</p><p>“Oh my God,” Ryan heckled. “You two are mushier than a tuna sandwich with too much mayo!”</p><p>“I agree, and I have a counter offer,” Allison snapped her fingers to draw the lovebirds out of their eye-sex fest. “Can we celebrate with some barbaric gladiator-esque entertainment? There will be cheering, jeering, beer and frivolity.”</p><p>“I could use a distraction,” Quinn said. She tenderly kissed Rachel’s warm cheek and then the bridge of her nose before she gave the other couple her attention. Rachel wrapped her arms around the blondes middle and dropped her forehead to Quinn’s collarbone - now feeling shy and silly, but ultimately right with Quinn holding onto her.</p><p>“There’s a Rangers game tonight, I bet a couple of Fibbies could get us into. How about that?”</p><p>“Hockey?” Ryan yelped and all but fell out of the booth in his excitement. “You are seriously the most perfect creature in existence! Qball, please? Pretty please? Can we go?”</p><p>“I’ve never seen a hockey game,” Rachel said, speaking directly to Quinn’s throat. </p><p>“Hockey it is! Let’s go celebrate romance and the bonds of friendship with violence and sweaty men on ice skates!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Happy Halloween</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Quinn got out of her car after the longest day ever at the office she wasn’t in the best mood. Halloween was one of the most dreaded days in law enforcement because it was one of the busiest. Always. She’d always found it somewhat funny before, but now that she had an actual home life being swamped with work wasn’t amusing in the slightest. </p><p>She was already afraid of what Christmas was going to be like.</p><p>Her Tahoe chirped when she depressed the lock button on her key fob and she huffed a growl at the noise. Why? She didn’t know, but it felt good anyway. She made her way across their yard, watching her feet press down into the neatly trimmed grass and stuffed her hands and keys deep into the pockets of her trench coat. Despite the fact that every agent she knew and worked with owned one, the long coats weren’t government issue, but she still liked to joke with Ryan about it. They all looked stupidly similar when it started to get cold and nasty out.</p><p>The tired blonde finally spared a glance up at her front door and nearly fell over she stopped so fast.</p><p>Sitting on the walkway leading up to the warmly lit entrance of her home were three medium sized pumpkins.</p><p>As it was Halloween that wouldn’t have been shocking, it was to be expected. Especially with Rachel around. That woman turned into Martha Stewarts worst nightmare when holidays rolled around. But what was different about these pumpkins, well it wasn’t a bad thing. At all.</p><p>The pumpkin nearest her said ‘u’. The next pumpkin had a heart carved into it. No witches or ghosts or scary faces - a simple heart. The last pumpkin, closest to the door, boasted a capital ‘i’.</p><p>Quinn felt her own heart melt into a pleasant goo as a lopsided smile graced her features. </p><p>I ‘heart’ u.</p><p>Rachel.</p><p>She hurried up the rest of the way to the house, tried the door and was pleased to find it locked. Sometimes Rachel forgot to lock the door when she was home. Of course she’d argued with Quinn when she’d told her to always lock it regardless, stating that they lived in a very nice, safe, neighborhood and Quinn was far too paranoid.</p><p>And she was when it came to keeping Rachel safe.</p><p>Quinn unlocked the front door and stepped into the heat of the house. She took a deep breath and felt the weight of the world slip off her shoulders. It smelled like cinnamon and something sort of sweet. Of course she could also smell their recently cleaned carpet and faintly the laundry being done. </p><p>Home.</p><p>She made her way to the kitchen, dropping her keys and credentials into the decorative bowl out of habit. Right on time she heard the clatter of her stainless steel pans being knocked around.</p><p>“All this time together and I still can’t get you to stop trying to cook,” she teased as she rounded the corner into their spacious kitchen.</p><p>Rachel squeaked in surprise and stood up quickly from the cabinet she’d been digging through. “I think I’ve gotten better!”</p><p>“Your baking skills have always been amazing, but after the kitchen burning incident I’m still nervous whenever I see you with a frying pan.” Quinn smiled and moved around the island to hug her wife and spend a few precious quiet moments wallowing in her presence. Rachel sighed and gripped handfuls of Quinn’s dress shirt, holding her captive while she leaned into the embrace.</p><p>“Don’t forget we’re going trick-r-treating tonight,” she reminded, then pulled back and lifted her chin.</p><p>Quinn groaned into the requested kiss, already dreading the night ahead. “Aren’t they a little young for this?”</p><p>“Nonsense! They’ll love it and besides, even if they don’t remember it I will and I want pictures.”</p><p>“Whatever you want, Princess,” Quinn said with a roll of her eyes. She looked around the kitchen in confusion, even going as far as bending over to check under the table. “Where are they anyway?”</p><p>“Anna was getting them ready for me before she went home.”</p><p>“I can do that,” Quinn said and darted from the kitchen. Rachel laughed to herself and beamed at her wife’s retreating back. She shook her head and sighed before she knelt back down to try and find the pan that she needed. Quinn could whine and tease all she wanted, but the diva was dead set on cooking them dinner. A nice dinner because she knew that with the doorbell ringing and the likeliness of the blondes phone going off a nice dinner together might be their only real together time that night.</p><p>She had a plan B, of course. There were classic horror films stacked up in the family room waiting to be viewed and popcorn ready to be popped. She’d even baked brownies for them to indulge in, since neither was a huge fan of candy.</p><p>“Rachel?”</p><p>“Yes, Anna?” she responded and then cried out triumphantly when she found the desired pan.</p><p>“I’m out for the evening, you guys have a nice evening!”</p><p>“You too! See you tomorrow!”</p><p>With a wince Rachel set the frying pan down, carefully because Quinn would kill her if she ruined her cookware, and dug a package of shrimp from the fridge. “I’m so sorry little shrimpies,” she whimpered as she stared at the bag mournfully. Normally she wouldn’t go near Quinn’s food out of fear of a breakdown like the one she’d had in the market over the Lobster tank, but she did love her wife an awful lot and she knew the gesture of dead animal would go over in huge ways. She set herself to sauteing the shellfish, reading the instructions as she went because she didn’t want to ruin them and somehow waste them. Poor creatures. </p><p>“Rachel?”</p><p>“Yes, my love?” she called back and then bit into her lip as she watch the simmering going on in the pan.</p><p>“What have you done to our children?”</p><p>The brunette looked up to see Quinn with a little girl balanced on each hip. One baby was decked out as a fluffy lion, the other a cuddly bear. Rachel giggled at them and Quinn arched an eyebrow as she went to put them in the playpen in the corner. “They look adorable!”</p><p>“They look pissed,” Quinn countered with a grimace holding up Eliza so they were face to face. “Seriously, Eliza looks like she wants to kill me. I’m getting distinct ‘how dare you do this to me’ vibes from her.”</p><p>“Olivia too?” Rachel asked, leaving her cooking to join Quinn in observing their daughters.</p><p>“Livvy’s more likely going to cry any second. I went in there and picked her up first and she gave me the most pitiful look I’ve ever seen. God, she’s going to be worse than you when she figures that pout out.”</p><p>Rachel hummed in agreement and smiled sweetly at Eliza, who was still dangling from Quinn’s hands. “What’s the matter my little Elza? Did you want to be the bear?”</p><p>Dark brown eyes stared back at her and a tiny bow shaped mouth frowned even deeper.<br/>“Oooh, she knows it was you,” Quinn laughed and gently put the baby down besides her twin. “I was kind of expecting more twin-like outfits. At least matching costumes.”</p><p>“I thought about it but I saw these and had to have them. They are so friggin’ cute,” Rachel gushed, drinking in the matching dark features of her children. Her eyes went wide when she remembered the shrimp. She planted a swift peck on Quinn’s cheek and ran back to her cooking. Fortunately the shrimp weren’t burnt... she didn’t think.</p><p>“They are kind of cute aren’t they,” Quinn said and drifted to the stove to peer over Rachel’s shoulder. “I wonder who they got that from?”</p><p>Rachel snorted, “who indeed?”</p><p>“I think they’re going to look just like you.”</p><p>“Heaven help them.”</p><p>“None of that,” Quinn playfully kissed Rachel’s ear, smirking at the scrunched up expression and squirm it earned from her wife. “I love you too, by the way. When did you get so sweet?”</p><p>“Ah, so you did see the pumpkins,” Rachel poked at one of the shrimp, sable eyebrows drawing together as she checked her instructions. “Are these done?”</p><p>“Yup, and you didn’t have to do this or the pumpkins you know.”</p><p>“I know, but I wanted to. I like to remind you sometimes that I care.”</p><p>“How could I possibly forget?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Rise and Shine pt. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There were few moments in Rachel’s life that were quiet. She’d always liked noise, the sounds of life. Traffic, people, music. Noise was comforting because silence made her feel alone, left too much space for her thoughts to run around in. That was why she talked so much. Silence between two people could be stifling in its awkwardness and she hated that feeling; it felt like she was being smothered by all the things in between herself and the other person. All the things they weren’t saying and maybe should be. Often, this led to her speaking her mind – something that was not always appreciated, strangely enough. Over the years she’d learned that ‘deep conversations’ weren’t craved, or actually wanted very much at all, by other people. It made her the weird one, the person you tried to avoid being alone with because she was always dragging them into unwanted conversations. She still liked those discussions; liked learning about other people that way. As she’d gotten older and it became apparent to her that people went out of their way to dodge her, just like they had in high school, she’d taken the time to try and find enough peace within herself to be okay with stillness.</p><p>Sure, Quinn made fun of her for it, for the yoga and the meditation she rigidly maintained, but it was worth it.</p><p>Quinn, oddly enough, was one of the few people who didn’t seem to mind Rachel’s need for noise. She did occasionally interrupt a ‘Berry ramble’, but for the most part she only smiled and listened. Actually, really, listened. If she hadn’t already been madly in love with Quinn before she certainly would have fallen the first time Quinn proved that she paid attention. She’d opened her birthday present and cried, which she would admit was a dramatic reaction, because Quinn had remembered her saying how much she’d loved Cassandra Clare as a teen – and bought her every single book by the author. Every. Single. One.</p><p>Shaking her head, Rachel smiled and lowered herself onto her yoga mat, her morning meditation finished. It was time to jump back into the noise of a new day.</p><p>“Mommy?”</p><p>Right on cue, she thought and twisted to see one of her daughters peering at her through a curtain of dark hair.</p><p>Having identical twins had made life interesting. They’d been damn near impossible to tell apart when they were infants. Fortunately, their personalities had become different enough so she no longer had to guess. For instance, she knew the girl before her was Elizabeth, not Olivia, because of the way she was standing and the way she’d announced her presence. Eliza was the shy one, always hiding, ever fragile, quietly emotional and so soft spoken.</p><p>Olivia was much louder and far more brazen. Their rockstar daughter.</p><p>“Good morning, baby. What are you doing up?”</p><p>Eliza didn’t answer, just stared at her with big, watery, brown eyes.</p><p>Rachel sat up with a frown and stretched her arms out towards Eliza who immediately toddled over and crawled into her lap. “Is Livvy up too?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>That wasn’t that surprising, they both usually slept like the dead. “Well then I guess she’s going to miss out on helping me make breakfast for Mom,” Rachel said and cuddled her closer. Eliza grabbed handfuls of t-shirt and hid her face against her shoulder. “We’ve got company coming this morning to see Mom and the baby. Uncle Ryan will be here with Aunt Allison, and our friend Santana. Do you remember Santana?” </p><p>“No,” Eliza said, clinging tighter when Rachel stood up to head for the kitchen. “The baby’s coming soon?” </p><p>“We certainly hope so,” Rachel replied and carefully set her down on the kitchen counter. “Sit still okay? You know how your Mama gets when I let you girls sit on the counters.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“She thinks you’ll jump off or fall. If you’ll keep it a secret you can sit there and help me make muffins for breakfast.” Stretching up on her toes Rachel pried open the cabinet she needed to get her ingredients out of. “Want to learn how to make Mama’s favorite pumpkin muffins?”</p><p>“Yes!” Finally, a smile graced Eliza’s face. She clapped her hands together and eagerly accepted the things handed to her.</p><p>Checking to make sure she had everything, Rachel surrounded Eliza in a perimeter of ingredients then grinned down at her mini-me. “Here’s what we’re going to do, little helper: First we put the ingredients together in a bowl, then you mix them while I get the pan and oven ready. When they’re finished, we’ll surprise Mama with them, how’s that sound?”</p><p>Eliza nodded and intently watched as Rachel started to add things together in a large mixing bowl. “Mommy?”</p><p>“Eliza?”</p><p>“How come the baby has no name?”</p><p>Because your Mama won’t let me name him. “We haven’t picked one yet.” She handed a big spoon and the bowl over to Eliza. “Stir away.”</p><p>“Can Livvy and me help?”</p><p>“Livvy and I,” she corrected automatically and bent to search the island for the muffin pan. “You want to help us name your brother?”</p><p>“Yeah! I think you should name him Simba!”</p><p>Biting into her bottom lip to keep from laughing, Rachel nodded and set the oven. “Simba could be a nice name. Maybe we can talk about it at dinner tonight.”</p><p>“Mommy?”</p><p>“Mhm?”</p><p>“Can we have music?”</p><p>“Absolutely, but it has to be quiet. I don’t want to wake your Mama up just yet. Your brother kept her up pretty late, so she needs to sleep in this morning.” Rachel tickled Eliza’s ribs lightly then reached around her giggling daughter to turn the iPod on. She carefully set the volume and beamed proudly as Eliza almost immediately began singing along. They worked quietly together for a few more minutes, Rachel showing her how to check the consistency of the batter before pouring it evenly into the waiting liners. “Then we pop them into the oven, but you can’t just wait for the timer to go off, you have to check them every now and then and make sure they’re rising properly.”</p><p>“Rising?”</p><p>“Yes, they start out mushy but when they get hot they start to turn fluffy. You have to make sure they’re cooked completely but not burnt.” Rachel picked her up and placed her on the floor so she could see into the window on the over door. “See? They’re still gooey right now but pretty soon they’re going to look like muffins instead of goo. We’re going to check them with a toothpick to see when they’re done cooking.”</p><p>Eliza wrapped her arms around Rachel’s leg and stayed that way while Rachel cleaned up the kitchen, both continuing to sing along with the Disney playlist. Rachel continuously checked on both the muffins and Eliza as she waited. As a baby Olivia had been more expressive than Eliza. They could always tell exactly how she was feeling because it was written all over her face. Olivia was the dramatic one, and Quinn often teased that she’d picked up more of Rachel’s personality.</p><p>The first time she stomped her foot in the midst of a tantrum, Quinn’s smug smile said it all.</p><p>Rachel worried about Eliza though, she was so emotional but she’d started to keep it firmly locked inside; rarely expressing it to anyone other than Olivia. She was glad that they had each other, but it left her feeling disconnected from them.</p><p>Her thoughts were piling on top of one another, and the desire to say something wouldn’t be ignored. She untangled herself from Eliza and knelt down so they were face to face. “Hey.”</p><p>Immediately, Eliza retreated, tucking her chin down to her chest and looking anywhere but at Rachel. It was so reminiscent of Quinn that she had to wonder if God had somehow gifted them with a child that was truly a part of both of them. They were nearly exact replicas of her; they had her mouth, her eyes, her coloring. Not her nose though, or her ears, and she was certain they would both be taller than her, but that was it as far as visible differences.</p><p>Somehow, somehow Eliza had developed Quinn’s personality and it nearly broke Rachel’s heart to see it. Because all she could think about was Quinn’s home life and imagined it happening to Eliza. It made her wonder anew how anyone could ever do anything to harm a child harm of any kind. Especially one as special as Eliza. As special as young Quinn had to have been.</p><p>“I love you, you know that?”</p><p>She’d been hoping for a verbal response, but Eliza only tucked in closer to herself and nodded.</p><p>“Eliza, can you look at me?”</p><p>Dark eyes lifted up from where they’d been staring at her bare toes and locked on her own. It was like looking into a mirror. Her lower lip trembled and Rachel’s heart shattered all over again. “I wet the bed.” She started to cry and turned to run but Rachel caught her easily and dragged her back into her arms. She struggled at first, then limply sagged into the embrace and pressed her face against Rachel’s neck. “I – don’ – want – you – to – be – mad!”</p><p>“I’m not mad, baby,” Rachel said and tried to shush her. She rubbed her back and rocked her until the hiccuping sobs trailed off into sniffles. Her neck was wet, slick with tears, she could feel strands of her hair sticking to it. The old Rachel Berry would have been grossed out, though she’d never have said so, and wiped it off at the first opportunity. She wondered if it was the years or being a mother that had changed her, because instead of a pressing need to wash her neck, all she felt was a powerful urge to hold onto Eliza and never, ever let her go. In that moment she would have done anything in the world to make it better. Anything. She’d light the damn sheets on fire if she had to.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Eliza whimpered.</p><p>Reluctantly, Rachel pulled away and sat back on her heels so she could wipe teary eyes and brush hair back from sticky, red cheeks. “No, my Eliza. It’s just an accident and accidents happen. I promise I’m not mad at all.”</p><p>“I’m not a bad girl?”</p><p>She shook her head and smiled reassuringly. “Not at all. Let’s get these muffins out so they can cool and we’ll go put your sheets in the wash. They’ll be as good as new and nobody will ever know except me and you.”</p><p>“You won’t tell Mama?”</p><p>“No, it’s our secret.” She winked, kissed her on the forehead, and stood up to remove the muffins from the oven. Eliza molded herself back to her leg and refused to let go until Rachel picked her up and carried her out of the kitchen towards the twins shared bedroom.</p><p>“We’ll be super quiet so Livvy doesn’t wake up,” she whispered conspiratorially. </p><p>Wide eyed, Eliza nodded and held her finger to her lips.</p><p>They crept into the room in over-exaggerated and unnecessarily hunched over positions, but Rachel loved the concentrated furrow of Eliza’s forehead and the way she kept checking to make sure Olivia was still sleeping. Though it fell away as soon as she caught sight of her bed. Her face crumbled and Rachel quickly pulled her into another hug. “It’s okay.”</p><p>She pulled the sheets off the twin-size bed, wadded them up, and pulled the quilt over the bare mattress to mask the absence of the butter yellow sheets. “I won’t tell anyone,” she promised.</p><p>“Okay, Mommy.”</p><p>Rachel gestured towards the bedroom door with a slight tilt of her head, but didn’t follow Eliza out of the room at first. She walked over to Olivia’s ‘side’ of the room and bent to place a soft kiss on her head. </p><p>“Can I take Mama a muffin?” Eliza asked after the sheets had been dumped into the washer.</p><p>“Let’s take her some milk too, huh?”</p><p>“Yeah!”</p><p>“It’s only missing one more thing,” Rachel said. She caught Eliza’s hand in hers and headed out into the backyard. “Pick a flower,” she said and waved her free hand towards her tulips.<br/>Eliza’s eyes about bugged out of her head. She and Olivia had been told, in no uncertain terms, to not mess with Mama’s flowers. Quinn had toiled and slaved and in general worked her ass off planting flowers in their backyard when they first moved into the house. Rachel had protested, not because she didn’t love the idea or the fact that Quinn was trying to do something nice for her, but because it had worn Quinn out... and they were both terrified of bees.</p><p>“Won’t Mama be mad?”</p><p>“We’ll blame me, alright?”</p><p>“You’re going to get in trouble,” she informed her but pulled up a flower a second later.</p><p>“I’m always in trouble,” Rachel said and laughed lightly. “Your brother makes Mama moody, don’t tell her I said that though. Then I really will be in big trouble.”</p><p>“I won’t!”</p><p>“Good. Let’s go wake her up then, shall we?”</p><p>“Carry me?”</p><p>Never able to deny her anything when asked with such an adorable pout, Rachel scooped her up and balanced her on a hip. They retrieved the muffin and milk and began the most dangerous part of their breakfast mission.</p><p>Waking Quinn had become something just shy of ‘perilous’. The closer she got to her due date the more Rachel feared eventual bodily harm. Well, not really, she was ever the drama queen, but Quinn was seriously scary first thing in the morning. </p><p>Setting Eliza down on her feet once inside the spacious master bedroom, Rachel stared warily at the lump of white comforter that was camouflaging the slumbering grizzly bear she called her wife. Strands of blonde hair sprouted from the top of the mass, and that’s all she could really see of Quinn. </p><p>“I’ll go first,” she whispered.</p><p>“Be careful.”</p><p>Rachel snuck up on the bed and decided that the safest way to wake Quinn would be from her own side of the bed. She crawled up the mattress and laid down slowly, trying not to cause the bed to dip too much. “Quinn?”</p><p>“Mhhhrg.”</p><p>Hesitantly, she slipped her hand along the top of the comforter cocoon and wiggled in closer. The blanket came down far enough for her to see two bleary hazel-green eyes glaring at her. She swallowed hard and smiled as sweetly as she could possibly manage. Never tickle sleeping dragons indeed. “Hey, baby. Eliza and I made you breakfast. Your favorite! Pumpkin muffins!”</p><p>Those eyes narrowed briefly, scrutinizing her. Then the blanket slid further, revealing a nose and then a frowning mouth. “What time is it?”</p><p>“Later than you’re expecting but earlier than you’d like?”</p><p>A pale eyebrow arched and Rachel’s life flashed before her eyes.</p><p>Then - a miracle.</p><p>Quinn smiled.</p><p>Not a full smile with teeth, but not just the upward quirk of a corner of her mouth either. A closed, sleepy but pleased smile. “I see no muffins; all I see is you.”</p><p>“All I ever see is you,” Rachel said.</p><p>“Cheesy lady,” Quinn snickered and the blanket fell away completely as, with some effort, she sat up. “Come here you two.”</p><p>Eliza scrambled forward, muffin and milk outstretched before her like tribute one might offer to a particularly frightening deity in place of human sacrifice. It reminded Rachel of her own gift. She propped her head up on her hand and delicately placed the tulip (roots still attached) in Quinn’s lap.</p><p>The arched eyebrow returned as Quinn studied the flower in her lap. She turned to regard Rachel, shook her head, and twitched her finger in a ‘come hither’ motion.</p><p>Rachel pressed both palms down into the soft mattress and brought her mouth into range for her ‘Good morning weirdo, I love you, you’re cute even if you’re a little odd’ kiss. It lasted longer than she’d been expecting; they didn’t separate until Eliza’s giggle broke the spell.</p><p>“Ew,” Eliza said.</p><p>“Ew?” Quinn repeated, turned and made ‘gimme’ hands at her.</p><p>She handed the breakfast to Quinn, and frowned when the items were placed on the nightstand instead of being hastily consumed.</p><p>Quinn patted the space next to her and fondly watched Eliza scale the side. “Ew, huh? Could you stay in this phase of life forever? Cooties and cartoons and butterflies and being adorable?” She snuggled her as best she could with the baby bump and slouched back against the pillows.</p><p>Taking advantage of the now perfectly placed shoulder, Rachel sighed and let her head drop to rest there. She nuzzled happily against the soft cotton of Quinn’s shirt and silently prayed for the same thing Quinn had asked. She so wished they could stay this way forever.</p><p>Well, maybe after the baby was born.</p><p>“Where’s Liv?”</p><p>“Still sawing logs.”</p><p>“We should wake her up. It’s not a true Fabray family cuddle when we’re minus one.”</p><p>“True. I’ll go get her in a minute. Company will probably be here in a couple of hours, so I thought I’d let her sleep the grumpies out.”</p><p>“How come this one’s awake?” Quinn poked Eliza’s nose as she asked and grinned when she scrunched her face up - just like Rachel.</p><p>“I think she heard me going downstairs. My ninja skills failed me and I tripped over the cat.”</p><p>“That would do it.”</p><p>Rachel nodded and winked at Eliza. “I have an idea, how about we get Livvy up and we eat our delicious vegan muffins at the table before our guests show up?”</p><p>“I like it. Simple, and easy to remember,” Quinn said and rubbed at her stomach with a faint grimace.</p><p>“Still kicking away?”</p><p>Reaching down, Quinn grasped Rachel’s hand and set it against her stomach. “I think he’s trying to tell me something in Morse code.”</p><p>“Can I feel?” Eliza asked. Quinn took her hand and slid it under Rachel’s, then placed her palm back on top of her wife’s.</p><p>“I hope he’s born soon.”</p><p>Quinn groaned. “Me too, baby, me too.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Shut Your Eyes pt. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter Pan was over. </p><p>It had made its run, won its awards, and now Rachel Berry was free to pursue something else. She needed it, needed something fresh to quench her thirst for bright lights and applause. In the end, it had all but fallen into her lap. The chance of a lifetime, an iconic role - and she’d been the top of their list for it. Directors were seeking her out, clamoring for that Berry girl.</p><p>All she could think was finally. Dreams could come true if you believed in them enough, if you worked hard enough to realize them, embrace them, and never, ever, let them go.</p><p>It was always sad saying goodbye to a cast, to a character, but the promise of a new role and the excitement of discovering a new character always brightened her spirits. Besides, as much fun as Peter Pan had been, she had her eyes fixed on the ultimate prize.</p><p>The Drama Desk award was nice, but… she wanted that damn Tony and was determined that this time it would be hers to have, to hold, to cuddle and love and -- </p><p>Clearing her throat, Rachel shook her head and focused back on the script in her lap.</p><p>Moulin Rouge was going to be the one; she just knew it. She would own Satine, and then they’d be saying ‘Nicole who?’ when discussing the courtesan. It would be Rachel Berry - always and forever - Rachel Berry as Satine for the win.</p><p>She’d only watched the movie god knows how many times since accepting the role. In fact, Quinn had seemed relieved to go back to work after a weekend full of running lines and singing Christian’s part. Rachel did feel somewhat guilty for dragging her through all the craziness - she could freely admit she was being obsessive - but she could practically taste the Tony. </p><p>Her eyes wandered off the page again and she leaned her head back against the couch. Daydreaming always had been her escape. Now she pictured herself on a red carpet wearing a designer gown, with lights flashing and people all calling her name at once. At her side, always at her side, was Quinn, looking so stunning that mouths fell open and eyes followed her every move.</p><p>Rachel grinned, lacing her fingers together behind her head thoroughly pleased with her imagined self and success. </p><p>Hearing voices outside the apartment door, Rachel only grinned wider and all but skipped over to greet Quinn and welcome her home. She’d make up for the Moulin marathon with dinner... maybe a date? Her thoughts whirled around, threatening to carry her off, but the first step would be to sweep her lady right off her feet with a sneak attack. Quinn would be expecting her to still be drowning herself in work; she would not be anticipating the passionate kiss Rachel planned on delivering the second the door was open.</p><p>Ripping said door open, Rachel tensed, ready to fly out, tackle, and claim Quinn right there in the hallway. Quinn froze, startled, the key in her hand pointing to where the doorknob had just been while Rachel stumbled, her muscles going slack as surprise replaced her enthusiasm. </p><p>She was pretty sure her mouth was hanging open.</p><p>“Miss me?” Quinn asked, that damned eyebrow arching perfectly.</p><p>Rachel could only stare. When Quinn had left for work she’d been in her typical classy suit, with her hair down and flowing over her shoulders. Now that beautiful blonde hair was slicked back in a tight bun, and she definitely wasn’t wearing a suit.</p><p>She was wearing a uniform - a military uniform. Not the somewhat baggy - if intimidating -camouflage, but a pressed, close fitting khaki blouse over dark green pants, with ribbons and medals she couldn’t identify. It took her a second to guess at the branch. “Please tell me this is for some really hot role-play and you didn’t join the Marines,” she said once she’d recovered her voice. </p><p>“Oh my God!” Another voice chimed in.</p><p>Rachel blinked at the unwelcome intrusion on her steamy thoughts. “Is that - Ryan!” Shoving the door open wider she saw him standing off to the side with that stupid boyish leer plastered all over his face. Narrowing her eyes at him she huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.</p><p>“What? I mean, I know you two... and I know Q’s some sort of sex god, or whatever, but damn. Role play? Yeah, sorry, but that’s hot.” He grinned at her, unphased by the death glare being sent his way, and then had the audacity to waggle his eyebrows. Rachel stomped her foot as Quinn, who had turned a very lovely shade of pink, snapped out of her embarrassment long enough to slap the back of his head. “Ow! I’m a guy, what do you want from me?”</p><p>“Quinn,” Rachel hissed. “You told him?”</p><p>“No! Clearly you’ve been talking to Allison!” Quinn shot back indignantly. Then a slow, smug smile curled her lips. “Sex god?”</p><p>Ryan snickered and held his hand down by his hip for a ‘low-five’ that Quinn immediately delivered.</p><p>“Shut up, both of you.” Rachel rolled her eyes; this was not the way she’d envisioned her night going, and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Ryan, are you coming in?”</p><p>“You just told me to shut up,” he said. His grin only got wider as he dodged the fist she threw at him. “No, I’ve got a hot date with your former co-star.”</p><p>“Lovely. Please tell Allison that she and I will be having words about things I tell her in confidence!” Grabbing on to Quinn’s slim wrist Rachel yanked her into the apartment, sticking her tongue out at Ryan, and promptly closed the door in his face.</p><p>“That was rude,” she heard him say.</p><p>“Go away!” Rachel spun back around, back pressed up against the door and eyeballed Quinn’s new attire. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what the wardrobe change meant. “You’re leaving?”</p><p>Quinn ducked her head and toed off the shiny black shoes that even Rachel found ugly.  “In the morning.” She flashed a brief smile and picked up the shoes, walking off towards their bedroom.</p><p>Rachel tapped her foot, arms crossed snugly over her chest, and counted to ten before chasing after her. “For how long?”</p><p>“I don’t know for sure.” Quinn was standing on her tiptoes to reach her suitcase when Rachel caught up with her. </p><p>Her good mood completely evaporated as something else welled up in its place. A feeling that could only be described as dread hit Rachel so strongly she felt sick to her stomach. She stood in the middle of their room watching Quinn dig through the closet and tried to swallow her fear. It didn’t work, and all she could do was focus on breathing.</p><p>“I don’t want you to go. I... I just got the chills. It’s like you’re leaving for battle or something. It’s dangerous, isn’t it? I can tell. You’re doing that avoiding, twitchy thing.”</p><p>“Rachel,” Quinn sighed and stopped throwing clothing on their bed. “I’ve done stuff like this before, and Ryan will be there to watch my back. You don’t need to be scared.”</p><p>“I know that, I do, but I can’t - I am scared, Quinn. Something - something doesn’t feel right. Why does this feel so wrong?”</p><p>Quinn shrugged. “I have to go, Rachel, you know I have to go, even if I’d love to call Millward and tell him I have more important things here. Like you. But I can’t; this is my job and I’m sure as hell not letting Ryan off by himself. God knows what kind of trouble he’d get into if I’m not there to watch him.”</p><p>Rachel nodded, thinking about how much it wasn’t Ryan who needed looking after, and wrapped her arms around her torso trying to find some comfort and settle her stomach. Quinn was always the one with the worst injury come the end of a ‘bad’ night. She seemed to attract the trouble, and Rachel would always blame it on her constant heroics. No matter how much she loved that about Quinn - and she did love it a lot - it tore her up inside to see the aftermath. “Why can’t someone else be the hero?” she whispered to herself, biting into her lip to keep from repeating it any louder.</p><p>Watching Rachel seem to visibly shrink within herself, Quinn took a deep breath and set a pair of folded jeans into her suitcase. She closed her eyes for a second and let her hands rest against the soft denim while she thought about ways to reassure Rachel. It wasn’t a diva fit, or even tears - those she could handle. She’d had plenty of practice. But the fear in Rachel’s eyes wasn’t something she saw a lot of. It made every protective instinct within her rush to the surface. She hated seeing Rachel like this. “When I get home... I have some leave saved up, and I was thinking maybe we could go on vacation? We could squeeze in a weekend before your show starts production.”</p><p>“Really?” Rachel asked tentatively, reaching out to hook her fingers around Quinn’s. </p><p>“Yeah. Anywhere you want to go.” Quinn smiled and playfully swung their tangled hands back and forth. “Anywhere. Name the place and we’ll go.”</p><p>“I’m going to hold you to that,” Rachel warned, but she couldn’t maintain her own grin. Her lower lip started to wobble and it all fell from there. Tears stung at her eyes and she looked away, embarrassed. She shouldn’t have been reacting this strongly - at least that’s what she kept telling herself. The nagging doubt in the back of her mind would not go away. That thing Quinn jokingly referred to as her ‘spidey sense’ was going completely nuts; every alarm bell in her head was ringing clearly. She’d never felt so strongly that Quinn was in danger. Like if she let Quinn go... this time she wouldn’t come back.</p><p>“Rachel…” Quinn shut her suitcase and stepped closer, heart breaking at how hard Rachel was taking her departure.</p><p>“This doesn’t feel right. It feels like goodbye.”</p><p>“It’s not. I’m going to call you every day while I’m gone and we’re going to go and have our own adventure as soon as I get back. I promise.”</p><p>Rachel’s heart constricted painfully in her chest as she bowed her head and summoned up the courage to paste on a brave smile. “I’ll hold you to that, Marine.”</p><p>Quinn wrapped an arm around Rachel’s hips. “Hey. What’s going on?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Rachel said, sniffling. Quinn pulled her in and she didn’t resist, her nose bumping against Quinn’s collarbone. She inhaled deeply, clinging tightly to the neatly pressed shirt that didn’t belong on Quinn, no matter how good it looked on her. “Something just doesn’t feel right. I’m probably just stressed about the part and the idea of not having you here when I finally go completely crazy.”</p><p>“Thank you for saying ‘completely’,” Quinn joked.</p><p>“You’re welcome.”</p><p>“Do you want me to order us some dinner? I don’t feel like cooking tonight.” </p><p>“Can we stay here for another minute? Please? I really need you to hold me right now.” Rachel whispered and laid her forehead down on Quinn’s chest. It was warm and safe there, wrapped up in Quinn’s arms, and in the morning she would miss that feeling for however long it took Ryan and Quinn to solve their case. Or whatever it was they were doing.</p><p>“Anything you want,” Quinn said, setting her cheek against Rachel’s dark hair. She couldn’t ignore the odd feeling in her stomach as she tightened her arms around Rachel’s slim waist. A feeling like maybe Rachel was right, but the thought didn’t linger long. She dismissed it as just not wanting to leave.</p><p>Eventually Rachel let her go and they went about their evening, both pretending not to be bothered by the weighty tension that seemed to fill their apartment. </p><p>They were sitting on the couch with take out containers littering the coffee table and watching ‘The Proposal’ (a welcome break from Moulin Rouge) when Rachel snapped. </p><p>She flew across the couch and pounced on Quinn, who started so hard that she threw the remote. Rachel all but attacked her, agile fingers pulling at clothing, mouth firmly and desperately attached to Quinn’s.</p><p>Quinn rolled them off the couch in a tangle, barely managing to get her shirt off over her head before Rachel was yanking her up and dragging her down the hall to their room. And she didn’t utter a word of protest when Rachel shoved her down onto the bed, just simply tried to pour everything she was feeling back with the same intensity. </p><p>It wasn’t until after, when they lay panting on top of the comforter they hadn’t bothered getting under, that Quinn realized Rachel was crying softly against her chest.</p><p>“Rachel,” she said, closing her eyes to keep from crying too. She looped her arms back around Rachel’s trembling body and willed her heart rate to come back down. “Rachel.”</p><p>Quinn repeated Rachel’s name over and over, barely breathing the word in fear Rachel would cry harder. It was the only thing she could think of to say; there were no other words left. Rachel fell asleep on top of her, hands fisted on either side of her ribs, and Quinn didn’t have the heart to move her. She stretched out and managed to grasp the blanket at the end of the bed with her toes, maneuvering it up to where she could grab it and throw it over them.</p><p>An hour passed before she slipped into a fitful sleep, mind brimming with worry.</p><p>When she woke to her phone alarm they were in the same position they’d fallen asleep in. Craning her neck she could just see Rachel’s face, and her stomach clenched when she saw how puffy her eyes were.</p><p>Rachel didn’t wake when Quinn carefully shifted her onto her side, though her lips twitched with a kiss to her nose.</p><p>Quinn stood at the side of the bed for a few seconds watching Rachel breathe, and decided to leave a note. She couldn’t stand the thought of Rachel waking to an empty bed –an empty apartment - without even that. Digging around in her desk she found a notepad and quickly scrawled a message, leaving it on her pillow.</p><p>She wrote another note, shorter than the other, and tacked it to the fridge with the magnetic photo of the two of them. It said simply, “I love you, so much. I’ll be safe”. Rachel had never let her leave without saying ‘stay safe’. It was their way around saying goodbye, because goodbye sounded so final. </p><p>The second she stepped out of their apartment she froze, and stared wide-eyed at Ryan. For the first time in a long time she felt like she’d forgotten something, and it wasn’t until they were in the cab headed for the airport that she realized it wasn’t an object left behind.</p><p>It was Rachel.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Shut Your Eyes pt. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On his knees in a dark, moldy smelling barracks shower room, Ryan wondered how his day had gotten so fucked up.</p><p>It had started out normal enough, as normal as he’d expected an undercover morning could be. He and Quinn had eaten their breakfast at the base chow hall and done PT with the troops and then gone off to their ‘jobs’. A perfectly average Marine Corps. day. It wasn’t until the evening it had gone sour.</p><p>They’d been caught rather spectacularly, he’d thought, and he blamed himself for it. Creeping around in offices after dark wasn’t the smartest thing he’d ever suggested. But they were running out of time and had vague leads at best. What they’d needed was some sort of concrete evidence. Quinn had barely protested when he’d brought it up, just as desperate to find something or someone to point them in a better direction.</p><p>Of course, right after they’d found it, digging through secure supply, all hell had broken lose.</p><p>Ryan glanced over at Quinn as he reminisced over their disastrous fact finding expedition, and felt his lips tingle.</p><p>She’d been rummaging through a desk when they heard the voices and footsteps approaching. Her eyes had met his across the room and then she was moving, quickly striding right up to him and kissed him. In his shock he’d dropped the file he’d been holding - the one with the list of names they needed. </p><p>It took a second for his brain to catch up to her intent, and then he’d yanked her closer to try and sell the ‘midnight rendezvous’ rouse. Maybe he’d gone a little overboard, lifting her onto the nearest desk and unbuttoning her neatly pressed blouse. But it was all in the spirit of not getting shot.</p><p>He really wasn’t a fan of being shot.</p><p>Plus, well, Quinn was one hell of a kisser and he couldn’t help but get somewhat caught up in it. Even if he knew it was fake. </p><p>The door to the office was thrown open and there stood two Marines, and of course it had been their main suspects standing there with their eyebrows at their hairlines.</p><p>Quinn had wrenched her mouth away from his, panting harshly, and glared hard over at their ‘intruders’. “Excuse us,” she’d said.</p><p>He’d honest to God thought they were going to get away clean, but the folder he’d thrown away from them had been right on the floor between them and the Marines.</p><p>There were a lot of jokes out there about the intelligence level of Marines - and a lot of them were very inaccurate. </p><p>Lance Corporal Porter, who was currently standing over Quinn with a sickening leer, had calmly picked the file up. It only took one glance at the contents and they were busted.</p><p>The only consolation Ryan could find in the situation was that they’d at least caught two of the people behind the illegal trafficking. His instincts about them had been dead on, and that was nice. It was just too bad that he’d had to be proven right that way.</p><p>He twisted his hands against the duct tape wrapping them and curled his lip up at Gunnery Sergeant Littlewood, who was stalking too close to Quinn for comfort. “I’m going to kick your ass,” he promised.</p><p>Quinn stayed quiet, hazel-green eyes staring at the drain in front of her, shirt still open, bottom lip busted. She’d been silent, calm even, after their capture.</p><p>He hoped she was coming up with an escape plan that included getting revenge.</p><p>“You morons!”</p><p>Ryan and Quinn both jerked their heads in the direction of the sound. Ryan’s mouth fell open when Captain Blunck strode into the room.</p><p>“Sorry, Sir!” Porter yelped, snapping to attention. Littlewood simply rolled his eyes and gestured at Quinn with his pistol.</p><p>“Caught them pawing through supply, sir. They found the ledger.”</p><p>Blunck sighed and stared back and forth from Ryan to Quinn and back. “Get rid of them.”</p><p>“And how, exactly, would you have us do that, sir?” Littlewood asked. “There aren’t a whole lot of places to hide the bodies.”</p><p>“I don’t care, Gunny. Fuck, you woke me up for this? Are you both so inept you can’t figure out how to take care of a problem like this?”</p><p>“We’re Federal Agents,” Ryan growled. “You do anything to us and they’ll hang you.”</p><p>Blunck cocked his head and knelt down to Ryan’s eye level. “Who said we did anything to you?”</p><p>“Sir?” Porter said and gripped a handful of Quinn’s hair. She didn’t even wince. “They don’t have credentials on them.”<br/>“Doesn’t matter. Dump them in the woods, people get lost out here all the time. We’ll call it a horrible training accident. I’m going back to the barracks, I trust you monkeys can handle that without me holding your hand?”</p><p>“Yes, sir!”</p><p>Blunck smirked at Ryan, pat him on the head like a dog, and calmly left the room.</p><p>“Officers,” Ryan spat, and earned himself a chuckle from Porter before Littlewood shut him up with a glare.</p><p>Porter sulked for a moment and then seemed to suddenly remember that he had a handful of Quinn’s hair, his grin returned and Ryan’s stomach churned at the look in his eyes. “Gunny, do you think... I mean, we’re just going to dump them anyway. How about some alone time with blondie?”</p><p>Quinn stiffened as best she could with her head in the Marines grip, she looked over at Ryan and he kicked himself for opening her shirt. They probably would have gone after her anyway, but he’d basically laid out an all you can eat buffet for them. </p><p>“You two are so fucking stupid,” he baited, shaking his head sadly. “There’s no way you’re getting away clean. When the Burea gets down here and finds us, you really think Blunck’s not going to throw you under the bus?”</p><p>Littlewood winced, but quickly covered it up with a smug smirk. “Shut up. And no, Porter, I want to get this over with so I can hit the rack.” He paused and grinned at Ryan. “But hey, any groping that takes place while we’re moving them? Fair game.”</p><p>Porter, catching on to the game, pulled harder at Quinn’s hair, snapping her head back, and ran his free hand down her chest and squeezed. “Damn. I wish we had more time.”</p><p>Ryan saw Quinn’s lip tremble, as Porter pawed at her breasts, but she closed her eyes and let out a shuddery inhale - and went back into statue mode.</p><p>He swallowed hard as Porter slipped his fingers into the cup of her bra and wracked his brain to come up with anything to say, something to do, to rescue his partner. He sucked in a deep breath and hoped they wouldn’t hit him too hard...</p><p>“Help!” He bellowed at the top of his lungs. “Hey! Anyone! Help!”</p><p>Littlewood jumped towards him and swung hard with the pistol. Ryan grunted and toppled over, ears ringing from the blow and temple stinging. Face down on the disgusting floor he rotated his head enough to see Quinn and was intensely happy to see Porter’s hand was gone from her chest. Her eyes caught his and she mouthed ‘thank you’ at him, just before Littlewood stepped behind her and brought the butt of the pistol down against the back of her head.</p><p>“Quinn!”</p><p>---</p><p>The first thing that told Ryan he was still alive was the unbelievable pain in his head. He cracked his eyes open with a groan and saw nothing but white.</p><p>The second thing that told Ryan he was still alive and not in some weird heaven where you feel pain was the cold.</p><p>His face was in snow.</p><p>He sat up, coughing and rubbing at the back of his head and tried to figure out where he was. Details came running back so quickly it made his head swim and he nearly fell over when he realized Quinn wasn’t next to him.</p><p>Oh god, no.</p><p>“Quinn?” he shouted, blinking rapidly to clear his eyes. “Quinn?”</p><p>Look for something that doesn’t belong, he scanned the seemingly endless expanse of snow and caught something gold out of the corner of his eye. Blonde hair. “Quinn!”</p><p>Forcing his achey body into motion he half ran half crawled over to her prone form and carefully scooped her upper body up into his. “Hey, Qball, come on, let’s see that pissed off glare.”</p><p>She keened softly, and struggled against him, eyes scrunched shut.</p><p>“It’s Ryan, Quinn, it’s Ryan. Open your eyes.”</p><p>Quinn did as asked and then she curled in on herself and threw up next to them. He winced at the smell and sight but rubbed at her back until she stopped heaving.</p><p>“Ryan,” she said hoarsely and slumped back into his chest. “Where the fuck are we?”</p><p>“A veritable winter horrorland, looks like,” he muttered and pushed gently at her shoulder until she turned to him. </p><p>Blinking exaggeratedly a couple of times she looked around them for a few seconds, then frowned and gestured at her chest. “Do you mind?”</p><p>He shook his head and leaned away from her far enough so she could reach between them and button her shirt back up. Her skin was bright red and in some places purple from being pressed into the snow.</p><p>“How long do you think we were out?”</p><p>Shrugging he waited patiently for her to do up the last button before reaching under her arms to lift her up with him when he stood. “I have no idea, but judging from the position of the moon? We’re only a couple of hours away from dawn. Sun will be up in all it’s glory soon.”</p><p>She snorted and stumbled as they slopped their way towards the tree line. “Did you learn that in BoyScouts?”</p><p>“Please, you think I was a BoyScout? Recon Marine, remember?”</p><p>“I don’t supposed they taught you how to make a fire whilst stranded on an iceberg in the Marines?”</p><p>This was the Quinn he knew and loved, he smiled and grunted as he picked a tree and settled back against it. She swayed in front of him, and he could just make out her staring at him.“Come here.”</p><p>“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve had my fill of men for the evening.”</p><p>“Q, you know as well as I do that we’re going to freeze. Come here, and stop being stubborn. I’ll keep my hands to myself. Scouts honor.”</p><p>Quinn scoffed but relented and settled herself in his lap awkwardly. “You weren’t a scout.”</p><p>“Nope.” He affirmed and pulled her more snugly into his embrace. They weren’t wearing coats or any sort, and the thin material of their service uniforms weren’t going to help at all. The pants were wool, so that helped, but not much, and certainly not when wet. “Quinn... about what happened with those jack-asses.”</p><p>“I don’t want to talk about it.”</p><p>“Q, it’s - “</p><p>“I said leave it alone, Ryan.” </p><p>He sighed and sneakily ran his hand over her head, checking for injuries but acting like he was merely being affectionate. She tended to get bristly when she thought he was babying her. There was a pretty nasty lump at the back of her head, but he didn’t feel any blood or cuts. His main concern was a concussion - he couldn’t see her eyes clearly yet but she’d thrown up, and that had set up some red flags in his mind.</p><p>“I’m really looking forward to punching those dicks the next time I see them,” Ryan shifted a little, making sure to cradle Quinn’s head like he would an infants and let his head fall back on the sturdy tree behind him. He’d had some first aid training with the Marines, and again with the Bureau, but all he could remember much about concussions.</p><p>“I think I better let you take over interrogation then, I’d probably shoot them,” Quinn mumbled.</p><p>“Wouldn’t blame you,” Ryan said.</p><p>“Do you remember, um, that case when we had to pull in the drug dealer with the dog?” Her teeth were chattering noisily, so Ryan wrapped his long arms around her shoulders and willed all of his body warmth into her.</p><p>“Yeah, how could I forget that one?”</p><p>“Remember the interrogation?”</p><p>Ryan chuckled, “hardened drug dealer, pissed his pants because of the scary blonde woman.”</p><p>“I probably shouldn’t have let him get to me,” Quinn said, a small smile twisting her lips. “I bet Porter would full on shit himself if I pulled the same stunt.”</p><p>“You can be very intimidating.”</p><p>Quinn hummed and then quiet enveloped them. Ryan leaned as best he could with her plastered against him. All he could see were trees, lots and lots of trees. There was no way they were hiking out until the sun came all the way up. They would have to wait.</p><p>“Quinn? Keep talking, Q, come on.” Ignoring her whine of protest Ryan rubbed his hands up and down her arms and nudged her head with his shoulder. “Yell at me, make fun of me, tell me about Rachel Berry or Batman, I don’t care.”</p><p>“This is all your fault,” Quinn grumped, shivering.</p><p>“My fault?” Ryan asked and tucked her closer to him, wincing as his cold hands flexed around her. Her voice was thick, almost like she’d been drinking, and his worry jumped up another notch. All he knew to do was keep her conscious; fortunately antagonizing Quinn was one of his favorite hobbies. “How is this my fault?”</p><p>“I don’t know, it just is,” she asserted and stuck her frozen nose into his neck. “You know if I lose so much as a toe to frostbite Rachel’s going to kill you.”</p><p>Thinking about the little ball of fury that Quinn called a girlfriend filled Ryan with more regret than fear.</p><p>“You missed a phone call, didn’t you? She’s probably worried sick,” he sighed. “And if you lose a toenail to frostbite I’ll shoot myself and save her the trouble. I’m sorry about this, Q.”</p><p>“It’s not actually your fault,” Quinn said against his neck and closed her eyes. Her own thoughts drifted to Rachel. She’d still be sleeping now, or maybe up already and watching a Barbra movie. She’d said once that she didn’t sleep well when Quinn was out. Actually she was probably watching Moulin Rouge for a millionth time. She wondered when, if, and how Rachel would find out she was... missing. It hurt to think that she could die and Rachel might not find out until she was terrified enough to go to the office and ask. “It’s our anniversary today.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s what I’m apologizing for.”</p><p>“In that case, apology accepted.”</p><p>They shuffled impossibly closer to one another, both trembling from exhaustion and cold.</p><p>“When do you think they’ll notice we’re missing?” Quinn asked after several moments of silence. She couldn’t take listening to her own teeth chatter, and definitely could do without another well-meaning shoulder nudge. Her head hurt enough as it was.</p><p>“Allison will blow up my phone after I accidentally stand her up. Just like I’m sure the Tadpole will fill your answering machine. But as to our co-workers or boss noting our absence? This afternoon, maybe.”</p><p>“We’re going to be popsicles by then.”</p><p>“What do you mean ‘going to be’?” He huffed and angled his head down closer to hers, all but balling her up in his lap. “I’m already there.”</p><p>“Ryan?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“I’m not ready to be a frozen treat,” Quinn whispered.</p><p>“Well, I’m not exactly excited thrilled at the prospect of being an ice sculpture either.”</p><p>“They could thaw you out and put you in a museum... you’d be a great addition to the caveman exhibit.”</p><p>“Don’t diss on my people, we Neanderthals are a proud race.”</p><p>Quinn huffed a silent laugh, a short puff of steam the only give away. She watched it dissipate and felt her mouth tremble as her thoughts jumbled together. They were going to disappear, just like that brief cloud.</p><p>“Ryan?”</p><p>He grunted and ducked his head lower, chin to his chest, his breath briefly warming her face. Quinn closed her eyes and hid her face in his shoulder. “I don’t want to die.”</p><p>“Quinn.”</p><p>“I really love her,” she said.</p><p>“I know you do, that’s why you’re going to beat this thing. It’s cold and we’re miserable and lost, but Rachel’s going to be waiting for you to come home. You can’t give up or give in to those thoughts because you have to go home and tell that crazy woman that you love her. Show her that by being strong and surviving this mess, I know you can - we can do this. The sun’s going to come up and we’ll get out of here.”</p><p>“I’m so tired,” Quinn admitted.</p><p>“It’s okay, baby girl,” Ryan said and rubbed her arms again. The motion and resulting friction made his hands tingle painfully, he ignored it and continued to try and get some sort of heat back into her. “We can sleep soon. You’ll see, the calvalry is going to show up and after the longest, hottest, shower of our lives we’ll be wrapped up in blankets and snoring away. This fiasco will be a memory, just another adventure we’ll get massive bragging rights for.”</p><p>“Rachel snores,” Quinn said and smiled weakly. “And talks in her sleep.”</p><p>Ryan snorted, “Of course she does. It’s Rachel.”</p><p>“I tease her about it, but I think - I think I’d give anything in the world to be hearing it right now.”</p><p>“I know what you mean.” He did - maybe not the sound of Rachel snoring, but he knew that he would have traded almost anything to hear Allison call him an idiot one more time. Or see her brown eyes light up with mischievous delight, hear her laugh, feel her soft hand in his. He promised himself that if - no when they made it out of there he was going to sit her down and tell her how important she was. No more of their sort of dating, he would make it official. If she’d have him.</p><p>God, I hope she’ll have me.</p><p>Quinn was quiet again, so he bounced his legs to disturb her in the most jarring way he could think of and chuckled weakly when she groaned.</p><p>“I can’t believe you kissed me,” he jibed. “No wait, I take that back. You’ve been dying for an excuse to do that, haven’t you? It’s okay, no one can resist all this hot manliness. Not even you.”</p><p>She snorted and tilted her head up to glare at him. “Don’t flatter yourself, I was trying to save our asses. Last resort, trust me.”</p><p>“It’s because I don’t have boobs, huh?” he said and forced himself to grin.</p><p>Shaking her head slowly, Quinn raised an eyebrow then headbutted his shoulder. “Nope. It’s because you have a penis.”</p><p>“Right,” he nodded sagely. “Penis. Ew.”</p><p>“Exactly,” she said and leaned harder into him.</p><p>He shuffled a bit, wincing as his soaked through pants rubbed against his skin. His legs were numb and his back was quickly following, he put the distant pain aside, and squirmed a bit more before re-settling. Quinn’s shaking had gotten worse, and he realized his had as well. It was starting to get brighter out, and he started thinking ahead to maybe trying to walk out. Problem was, he didn’t know where they were. Best bet would be to look for the tire tracks left behind from the vehicle they’d been thrown out of. Getting caught by Blunck’s goons would be their biggest hurdle.</p><p>Against his chest he heard Quinn mumbling, he cupped the back of her head and scrunched himself up smaller to try and hear her better. “What?”</p><p>“... I know it’s been awhile and maybe I’m not going to get through because of stuff. I don’t know. But I think you can hear me, I believe you can hear me and you’re listening. Please, God, please, let us get out of this.”</p><p>His stomach clenched hard at Quinn’s barely audible words. She continued on, pleading her case with a God she’d told him might condemn her. Despite everything, Quinn had always held on to her faith, quietly. When they went out drinking sometimes she’d talk about it - how her father had raised her to believe that the God they worshiped would cast people like her aside. Because she loved another woman. Then she’d smile, one of those lopsided smiles of hers and tell him that she thought her father was full of shit. If God was love and she believed in him he would welcome her with open arms. That was what she hoped. But he’d seen the flicker of doubt and it had cut through him. Now she was praying, reaching out to something he didn’t believe in.</p><p>It scared him.</p><p>Her voice trailed off and he held onto her, kissed her forehead, and wondered if he could find it with in himself to believe with her. They needed a miracle. Everything was still, no wind blowing, no birds singing. The eerie calm of a forest deep in the throws of a harsh winter blanketed them.</p><p>Then the unmistakable sound of a helicopter broke the deathly silence. It might as well have been heralded by the hallelujah chorus. They both jerked and peered up at the sky in shock. Ryan untangled himself from Quinn and set her back against the tree. “Just hold on, Quinn, God must’ve heard you.” He raced as fast as he could on frozen limbs out into the clearing and waved his hands wildly above his head. The miracle chopper began to descend into the clearing before him, kicking up swirls of snow and blasting him over and over and he couldn’t have cared less.</p><p>He sank to his knees, unable to stand any longer, and nearly collapsed when the side door slid open and a trench-coat clad agent came flying out.</p><p>“Agent Peterson!” Special Agent Shulte bellowed and came stumbling towards him in the knee deep snow. “Agent Peterson!”</p><p>“I’m alive!” Ryan cried back and gripped the bigger mans hand as he finally came to a halt in front of him. “Oh my god, I could kiss you, you big lug. Please tell me there’s some medical personnel on that bird, Fabray’s in trouble.”</p><p>“When is she not?” Schulte asked and yanked Ryan back to his feet with an enviable ease. “I’ll get her, you get your ass on that helicopter.”</p><p>“How did you find us?” Ryan couldn’t help but ask as Schulte loped away from him towards the tiny dark ball at the edge of the field.</p><p>“That crazy Rachel Berry woman stormed into the office and demanded we go look for you. She said something was wrong, that you and Quinn were missing and threatened to sue the bureau for negligence if we didn’t find you.” Schulte yelled over his shoulder.</p><p>“Quinn!”</p><p>He would have sworn he was dreaming, but there was no way he imagined hearing that beautiful voice. Leaning out of the helicopter, raven colored hair swirling in the wash from the rotors, was Rachel. How she’d managed to get on the helicopter was beyond him, though he had a good idea. </p><p>“Ryan,” Rachel reached for him and struggled to help pull him into the passenger compartment. “Ryan, Quinn? Is she alive?”</p><p>“Schulte’s getting her, she’s alive.” He collapsed onto the cold deck and grinned up at her, cracking his chapped lips. “I’m so glad to see you, Tadpole.”</p><p>She knelt down beside him, eyes still scanning the treeline for Schulte and Quinn. “I’m glad to see you too.” Her hand caressed his cheek and brushed through his hair, then she was standing again, fingers knotting together against her stomach.</p><p>Paramedics swarmed him and before he knew it he was bundled in blankets and strapped into a gurney.</p><p>“Quinn, oh my god, Quinn.”</p><p>Ryan turned his head and saw Quinn cradled in Schultes arms, and Rachel frantically touching her cheeks, forehead, lips.</p><p>“Rachel?” Quinn forced her eyes open wide, almost comically, as she attempted to keep them open long enough to prove she wasn’t dreaming.</p><p>“Baby, you’re blue,” Rachel whimpered.</p><p>Schulte set Quinn down on the tiny gurney and got out of the way as one of the paramedics rushed to get her stabilized. Plus, he wanted to keep his distance from the tiny, loud, pistol of a woman who was clutching to Quinn’s hand. He was curious about her, and her relationship with his boss, but he figured he could observe from the safety of his seat and form his own answers.</p><p>“No Smurfette jokes,” Quinn said. Rachel was all over her, tucking the blankets under her even though they were already trapped under her body. Quinn felt fuzzy, it was hard to concentrate, and it took every ounce of willpower she possessed to get her eyes to focus on Rachel’s face. Bloodshot brown eyes locked on her as she struggled to keep her eyelids from drooping, she felt the soft impact of Rachel’s tears landing on her cheek but didn’t register the wetness or warmth. Rachel’s whole mouth was trembling, not just her lower lip, but she tried to smile and Quinn wished she could tell if she was smiling back. She wanted to smile back. Finally, Rachel stopped fussing with the blankets and started running a shaking hand through Quinn’s wet hair.</p><p>“Your eyelashes are frozen,” Rachel said.</p><p>Annoyed with her unresponsive body Quinn fought to get one hand free; the blankets Rachel had tucked around her had effectively pinned her to the gurney.</p><p>“Quinn, don’t move.” Inhaling roughly, Rachel shoved her arm into Quinn’s wool cocoon and carefully wrapped her fingers around icy ones. “I’ve got you.”</p><p>On the other side of the helicopter, Ryan watched Rachel dip and kiss Quinn’s forehead and smiled. He looked up and found Schulte blatantly staring at them and roughly cleared his throat. “Respect,” he said and held Schulte’s gaze until he nodded.</p><p>“Respect,” Schulte repeated and bowed his head to stare at his hands instead.</p><p>“How did you find me?” Quinn asked.</p><p>Rachel touched her free fingers against her mouth and sniffled. “I felt it, something was wrong, horribly wrong. Right after you didn’t call. You always called at the same time and when you didn’t... Thank god for my psychic powers, I knew I had them. You needed me and I felt it. So I did what I do best... I - I made a scene at your office this morning until Director Millward agreed to locate you.”</p><p>“I would have loved to see that,” Quinn said and squeezed Rachel’s hand as tightly as she could.</p><p>Wiping at her tears, Rachel smiled and laughed lightly. “It was epic. I don’t really know how they found you, and I don’t care how, just that they did.”</p><p>“You saved me. You saved us.”</p><p>“Of course I did,” Rachel said. She returned her hand to Quinn’s hair, sifting through the long strands. “I love you, so much.”</p><p>Quinn’s eyelids fell, and she lacked the strength to open them again, so she furrowed her brow and turned her head towards Rachel. “I love you mucher.”</p><p>“That’s not a word, sweetie.”</p><p>“Don’t care.”</p><p>Rachel took the seat closest to Quinn, unhappy to have to remove her hand from Quinn’s. As soon as she was buckled in and the helicopter lifted off she stretched again and put her hand on Quinn’s chest then leaned her head down onto the edge of the gurney.</p><p>“Rach?”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“... Can we go someplace warm on our trip?”</p><p>Rachel smiled at the thought. “Baby, we’ll go someplace where they’ve never seen snow.”</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Rise and Shine pt. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I don’t want to get up,” Rachel whined as Quinn poked her shoulder.</p><p>They’d been laying there, the three of them, for just shy of five minutes and Rachel found everything far too idyllic to move. Ever.</p><p>“Olivia,” Quinn said simply and poked again.</p><p>“I’m going,” Rachel mumbled, narrowing her eyes playfully at Eliza. “I’m going, but Eliza that means it’s your job to help Mama get ready for guests. Think you can handle it?”</p><p>Quinn scoffed while Eliza nodded and pulled herself up to kiss Quinn’s cheek sloppily. “I take care of Mama.”</p><p>“Yeah you do,” Quinn sighed and rubbed the tip of her nose back and forth against Eliza’s. </p><p>Rachel leaned to kiss Quinn’s cheek, then Eliza’s forehead, before slipping off the bed. She paused halfway down the hallway to stoop and pet Jeepers when he meowed softly up at her. He purred lightly at the contact and snaked around her ankles a couple of times. “Silly kitty,” she cooed and tapped his nose before continuing on her way to the girls room.</p><p>“The sun’ll come out tomorrow,” she sang as she threw open the door. Olivia was already sitting up, and shrieked in surprise at the sudden intrusion.</p><p>“Mommy!” she protested.</p><p>“Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow,” Rachel continued, spreading her arms after opening the curtains. “There’ll be sun!” Basking in the warm, morning glow she turned a grin down at Liv. </p><p>“I don’t want the sun song,” Olivia whined and flopped back down on her bed, pulling the blanket up over her head to curl into a ball.</p><p>Pursing her lips, Rachel accepted the challenge and gingerly jumped on the bed. Bouncing a couple of times she curled her fingers where she guessed Liv’s ribs to be and tickled her through the blanket. It wasn’t very effective through the thick comforter, but Olivia came to life under her fingers anyway.</p><p>“Mommy, stop! I’m awake!”</p><p>“Are you? I can’t tell when I can’t see your pretty face,” Rachel said. Hooking her fingers around the top of the pink blanket she yanked and delighted in Liv’s squealing laughter. “There’s my beautiful baby girl!”</p><p>Olivia grinned, holding her arms out. Rachel scooped her up and hugged her tight, eyes closed as she tried to memorize the amazing feeling. She’d known that having children would be fulfilling; she knew it’d be a lot of things. Nothing that she thought she knew could compare to the overwhelming feeling of love and joy when she held her babies. </p><p>“Where’s Eliza?”</p><p>“She’s already up and helping your Mom get ready. We’ve got visitors coming over.”</p><p>“Uncle Ryan?” </p><p>Rachel hid a smile in Liv’s dark hair, “And Aunt Allison and our friend Santana.”</p><p>Liv squirmed free from Rachel and grinned brightly, “Can I pick my clothes?”</p><p>“Sure, but I get the final say,” Rachel said. She stood up from the bed, cradling Olivia in her arms like an infant. “No princess dresses, okay?”</p><p>“Aw, Mommy!” Olivia pouted up at her and Rachel swallowed back a groan. Quinn was right - the Berry pout was unfair. </p><p>“Uh-uh, don’t ‘aw, Mommy’ me. Come on, time to brush your teeth.” Reluctantly, Rachel put Liv down and chased her out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom. “There’s pumpkin muffins for breakfast,” she informed her daughter, grinning widely when Liv bounced on the balls of her feet at the news.</p><p>Smirking at her reflection in the mirror, Rachel caught Liv watching her and crossed her eyes. Olivia squinted hard at her own reflection and tried to cross her eyes. Then Rachel stuck her tongue out and touched it to the tip of her nose and wiggled her ears. Olivia giggled and tried to copy her. So they continued, Rachel pulling a face, Liv trying to copy her until they were both laughing too hard to continue. </p><p>“What’s so funny?” Quinn asked appearing in the doorway with Eliza in tow.</p><p>Rachel turned from the mirror, eyes comically wide, her mouth full of foamy toothpaste, and shrugged. “Brushing our teeth?”</p><p>Eliza giggled into her dainty hand, and Quinn quirked an eyebrow. “Nice.”</p><p>“Eliza!” Livvy shouted, the word garbled around the toothbrush sticking out from her mouth. </p><p>“Livvy!”</p><p>Eliza all but tackled Olivia off the footstool she was perched on. “I’m sorry I woke up without you.”</p><p>“That’s okay,” Liv said and hugged her twin back with her free arm, her other hand still busy holding her toothbrush. “Brush you teeth?”</p><p>Rachel stepped off Eliza’s footstool and hoisted Eliza onto it with an animated “zoom!"</p><p>With both girls occupied with each other and teeth brushing Rachel went to Quinn. “Hello there, gorgeous.”</p><p>“Hi,” Quinn laughed, shaking her head. “We say ‘hi’ on my planet, Princess.”</p><p>“Your planet?” Rachel asked and nuzzled at the underside of Quinn’s chin. “Fine. Your planet, my rules.”</p><p>“Ewwww,” Olivia said, pointing in the mirror when she caught sight of Rachel and Quinn kissing.</p><p>“Gross,” Eliza chimed in.</p><p>“Oy, hecklers,” Rachel chuckled. “I’ve gone my entire Broadway career without being heckled and then I had children and they’re the ones who do it. Traitors.”</p><p>“Mm, they threw food at you too,” Quinn said with a smile. </p><p>“Figures.”</p><p>“Worth it.”</p><p>“Without question,” Rachel said and ran the backs of her fingers over Quinn’s cheekbone. “The show must go on.”</p><p>“That’s right, ‘show face stays in place’,” Quinn quoted before kissing Rachel again.</p><p>“Mommy!” Olivia cried and covered her eyes, Eliza hid her face in Liv’s shoulder. “Kissing is icky!”</p><p>“I’m so reminding her of this later,” Rachel whispered against Quinn’s lips. </p><p>“I can’t wait, and yet I’m dreading that day at the same time,” Quinn sighed.</p><p>“Alright, peanut gallery, let’s go get dressed. Come on,” Rachel said and herded them out of the bathroom. </p><p>Right on time the doorbell chimed. Quinn sighed, smoothing her palms over her stomach with a small smile. “Let’s go see our guests, huh baby?”</p><p>She took her time going down the stairs, watching for Rachel’s cat. Jeepers had an affinity for darting between feet. Thankfully she saw him sitting at the base, staring up at her with his bright blue eyes. </p><p>“You’re the devil,” she casually informed him. He blinked and didn’t bother with moving, forcing Quinn to dodge him instead of the other way around.</p><p>Quinn massaged at her lower back and checked the peephole before she pulled the door open with a bright grin.</p><p>“Tubbers!” Santana greeted delightedly, only to falter when Quinn’s face fell and tears welled in her eyes. “Oh shit.”</p><p>“I - “ Quinn put both hands against her stomach and sniffed loudly. It didn’t work to stave off the tears and she broke like a damn dam.</p><p>“What is wrong with you,” Ryan hissed and shoved Santana into the house. Allison gracefully side-stepped Santana and embraced Quinn. “I just told you that she’s sensitive.”</p><p>“Well she wasn’t the last time! Honest, I was just expecting her to hurl back some insult and that’d be that!”</p><p>Rachel came running down the stairs, Eliza and Olivia following her, the sound like a stampede of angry elephants.</p><p>“Santana! You just got here and I already want to kill you,” Rachel growled.</p><p>“Mama?” Eliza said and wrapped her arms around Quinn’s leg. “Mama, why are you crying?”</p><p>“I didn’t mean to!” Santana cried, tossing her hands into the air.</p><p>Ryan snorted and gently pulled Allison back from Quinn so Rachel could take her place. “Talk about a bull in a china shop.”</p><p>Olivia crossed her arms over her little chest and marched straight over to Santana to glare up at her. “I don’t like you.”</p><p>“Olivia,” Rachel scolded but levelled her own glare at Santana as she wiped at the tear tracks on Quinn’s face. “Quinn, love, whatever she said isn’t true. You’re beautiful and wonderful and she’s just allergic to civility.”</p><p>While Santana continued to shuffle her feet on the floor abashedly, Ryan shared a look with Allison and together they pounced on the twins. </p><p>“No, Mama needs us,” Olivia protested, dark eyes intently focused over Ryan’s shoulder as she was carried towards the kitchen.</p><p>“The mean lady made her cry,” Eliza agreed from Allison’s arms.</p><p>“She’ll be okay,” Ryan said in Livvy’s ear, continuing on his path to the kitchen. She stopped squirming and pulled her head back around to stare at him. </p><p>“Mommy will make it okay?” Eliza asked Allison, her fingers twisting in long, wavy strands of blonde hair. </p><p>“Your Mommy makes everything okay, Bug.” Allison smiled and bounced Eliza in her arms playfully, eliciting a small smile.</p><p>Out in the entryway, Quinn was wiping her eyes, embarrassed by her behaviour. “I’m sorry, Santana, hormones.”</p><p>“No,” Santana hurried to say, wincing at the look Rachel was sending her way. “I’m sorry, Rachel’s right, I was being an ass. I’m really happy to see you, Q, I’ll try and think of a nicer nickname.”</p><p>“Or, you know, you could try her real name?” Rachel said. She kissed Quinn’s throat, then moved away to face Santana. “Let’s try again, shall we? Hello, Santana, it’s so nice to see you.” She opened her arms and waited patiently, both eyebrows at her hairline.</p><p>Hesitating, only for a second, Santana stepped into the hug and loosely returned it. “Yeah, hi, Mama Grizzly. It’s been too long.”</p><p>“Mama Grizzly?” Rachel smirked and jerked her head in Quinn’s direction. “I’m afraid you’ve got me confused with someone else.”</p><p>“I know you’re not a fan of emotional anything,” Quinn said, claiming Santana from Rachel’s arms. “But I missed you, Santana.”</p><p>Smiling against her shoulder Santana nodded. “I missed you too. Can I meet the Mini-Rachels again, or am I doomed now?”</p><p>“They’re almost more protective than I am,” Rachel said, giggling. “But they’re forgiving too. I think they’ll warm up to you.”</p><p>“That’s good,” Santana sighed as she looped her arm through Quinn’s. </p><p>Livvy huffed and crossed her arms again the second she caught sight of Santana. Eliza wiggled off of Allison’s lap, slammed into Rachel, and hid her face in her mother’s hip.</p><p>“Mama’s alright,” Rachel assured them both and ran her hand over Eliza’s head. “Santana didn’t mean to make her cry.”</p><p>Livvy hopped down from her seat on Ryan’s lap and cautiously moved around Santana to take Quinn’s hand. “Mama?”</p><p>“Remember how I told you sometimes people cry because they’re happy? I haven’t seen Santana since you and Eliza were babies, and I was so excited to see her I cried. That’s all.” Quinn cringed at the fib, but the way Olivia was nodding in understanding made her feel better. She smiled proudly as Olivia reached out her hand to Santana, just like they’d shown her to do when meeting new people.</p><p>“I’m sorry I said I don’t like you,” Olivia said seriously. “My name’s Olivia, but everybody calls me ‘Liv’. ‘Cept sometimes they call me ‘Livvy’.”</p><p>Santana knelt down and shook the tiny hand. “You were just protecting your Mama, I understand. I’m very sorry I upset you. I’m Santana.”</p><p>“Eliza,” Liv beckoned and stomped her foot. “Don’t be a baby. It’s rude!”</p><p>Eliza peeled herself away from Rachel’s leg and toddled over to Santana and Olivia. She held her hand out as well and blushed when Santana shook it. </p><p>“You must be Eliza,” Santana said. </p><p>Eliza nodded and ran back to Rachel the second her hand was freed.</p><p>“They’re gorgeous.” Santana stood back up and grinned at Quinn.</p><p>“They get that from Rachel,” Quinn said, waddling over to the kitchen table. She sat down with a groan and waved at Ryan. “Hey, sorry for the waterworks. Thanks for coming over.”</p><p>“Sure,” Ryan said. “Like we would miss out on Rachel’s fresh baked muffins!”</p><p>“Can we discuss the fact that you still haven’t told us the name for our nephew?” Allison asked.</p><p>Rachel groaned and gestured for Santana to sit as well while she went to grab the muffins from the kitchen island. “That seems to be the topic of the day.”</p><p>“You still don’t have a name?” Santana asked. “Aren’t you due soonish?”</p><p>“We have another six weeks,” Quinn defended, her hands rubbing fondly at her belly. “We’re just having a hard time agreeing. We have ideas.”</p><p>“So, is there a list?” Ryan asked.</p><p>Rachel nodded as she set the basket of muffins down in the center of the table. “There is.”</p><p>“Can we see it?” Allison snatched the muffin out of her husband's hand and smirked cheekily at him. “Why thank you, dear, I’d love a muffin.”</p><p>Santana laughed at his put out expression and bit into her own muffin, groaning immediately at the taste. “Oh my god, these are amazing.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Rachel said simply. She hoisted Eliza up into her lap and set her chin against the crown of her head. “Eliza helped me make them.”</p><p>Olivia pouted at this and tugged at the hem of Rachel’s t-shirt. “How come I didn’t get to help?”</p><p>“You were still asleep, lovey.”</p><p>Brow furrowed, Liv glared at her sister and clambered back up into Ryan’s lap. “I would’a helped.”</p><p>“You want to help me make lunch?”</p><p>“Just you and me?”</p><p>“Sure,” Rachel smiled and reached over to pull at Liv’s earlobe gently. “No pouting though.”</p><p>Ryan tickled Liv’s ribs until she nearly bucked herself completely off the chair. He smiled sheepishly at Quinn and his wife - who were giving him a death glare. “She’s not pouting any more! Are you, Monkey?”</p><p>“No, sir!”</p><p>“List?” Santana asked around a mouthful of muffin.</p><p>Quinn started to get up from the table but Allison held up her hand. “Nope, you stay there. Ryan’s been driving me nuts worrying over you straining yourself at work. It’s like he’s the pregnant one.”</p><p>“Hey!” Ryan protested and looked down at Liv. “You see how they treat me?”</p><p>“Straining myself? Since when is desk work so arduous?” Quinn wondered, but settled back in her seat.</p><p>“Oooh, excellent word choice,” Rachel beamed and ducked away as Quinn took a good-natured swipe at her.</p><p>Allison shook her head and ruffled Ryan's hair with an affectionate smile. “Where’s the list?”</p><p>“I left it in the living room,” Rachel said. “We were working on it last night, and only managed to make it longer.”</p><p>“Broadway names versus good Christian names?” Santana asked.</p><p>“Unfortunately my wife has a certain aversion to famous stage names.” Rachel shook her head but smiled sweetly over at Quinn.</p><p>Quinn grinned, pulled Rachel’s hand over and set it against her stomach. “I just don’t think he would appreciate being saddled with the name ‘Raoul’.”</p><p>“That was only one suggestion!”</p><p>“Wait, how many names are we talking about?” Ryan asked, poking at Olivia’s side until she giggled.</p><p>Rachel sighed, “I don’t know. We’ve managed to agree on some and those are on the list.”</p><p>“Please tell me there’s a favorite,” Allison said as she came back into the kitchen, eyes wide as she scanned the notebook paper.</p><p>“The ones with the stars,” Quinn said.</p><p>“Of course,” Santana rolled her eyes and snatched the list from Allison. “Caleb, Levi, Jonah, really? Alexander, and Andrew. Those are your favorites out of...” She ran her finger down the list, counting quietly. “Forty?”</p><p>“It’s not easy!” Rachel protested.</p><p>“How did you decide on the twins names?” Ryan asked.</p><p>“Yeah, Mommy, how did you pick our names?” Eliza quietly asked, tipping her head back to look at Rachel.</p><p>“Your Mama picked one name and I picked the other,” Rachel said, fondly remembering that conversation. She caught Quinn’s gaze and winked.</p><p>“Alright, munchkins, go play in your room. Grown up time,” Quinn said, hiding a wince as she shuffled in her chair.</p><p>Rachel helped Eliza down and waited for Olivia, taking both of their hands and walking with them towards the stairs. They whined, of course, but she placated them with promises of movies and special treats at dinner.</p><p>Santana raised an eyebrow, “I can’t believe how good she is at that.”</p><p>“At what?” Ryan asked, brow furrowed as he tried to watch Quinn out of the corner of his eye.</p><p>“Being a parent; it fits her,” Santana explained.</p><p>“Jealous, San?” Quinn asked with a knowing smirk.</p><p>“I - we aren’t ready just yet,” Santana said. “Someday, but not now.”</p><p>“It’s worth it,” Quinn said. “They are so worth it.”</p><p>“Says the Quinncubator in all her pregnant, glowing glory,” Santana teased.</p><p>Quinn narrowed her eyes and Ryan couldn’t scold Santana as he was too busy trying not to laugh.</p><p>“Careful, Santana, she can be Quinntense,” Allison giggled.</p><p>“Figures, I leave the room for two minutes and you’re already back to antagonizing her.” Rachel sighed as she padded back into the kitchen. “Come on, living room, Quinn’s back is bothering her.”</p><p>Ryan immediately stood and offered Quinn his arm. “God help us if the little guy Quinnherits that fearsome glare.”</p><p>“I got her,” Rachel said softly, shoving Ryan out of the way. She wrapped her arm around Quinn’s waist and tilted her head towards the living room.</p><p>“I can walk on my own,” Quinn mumbled, but leaned into Rachel.</p><p>“Yeah, she’s not a Quinnvalid,” Santana snickered.</p><p>“Now I know why Finn always had that constipated look on his face when we played with his name.” Rachel giggled and helped Quinn ease down onto the sofa.</p><p>“I’m suddenly regretting having any of you over,” Quinn growled. “Especially the House wanna be with the fake chest. Do your implants count as a floatation device?”</p><p>“Oooh, nice one. First the crying to lull me into a false sense of security and then the boob insults. Which is funny coming from you with your giant milky cleavage. God, Rachel, never knock her up again. Didn’t you learn the first time?” Santana grinned and dodged the pillow Quinn hurled at her head with impressive accuracy. “Though it’s always nice and nostalgic to see the old feisty Quinn make an appearance. If she could fit into a Cheerios uniform I might actually get teary.”</p><p>“Guys, quit picking on Quinn,” Rachel said and sweetly kissed her wife’s cheek. Then she grinned over at her guests. “And, in point of fact, Santana, I didn’t knock her up. I clearly lack the equipment necessary for that. It was Artificial Quinnsemination.”</p><p>“I hate all of you,” Quinn sighed and dropped her head back against the couch.</p><p>“She’s so vicious,” Santana said, standing to wave Rachel over. She sat gently next to Quinn and stared at Quinn’s stomach. “I’ll play nice though. Can I?”</p><p>Quinn rolled her eyes but nodded. Santana clapped her hands together, then placed one on the baby bump.</p><p>“You never let me do this before,” she said, brown eyes wider as she felt stirring under her palm. “He’s moving.”</p><p>“He does that,” Rachel said.</p><p>“He did it all night last night,” Quinn huffed, heaving herself back to her feet.</p><p>“Quinn?”</p><p>“Water,” Quinn said and touched Rachel’s temple.</p><p>“I’ll get it,” Ryan all but shouted and Allison hid her smile behind her palm.</p><p>“I can get my own glass of water,” Quinn sternly told him and waddled off without another word.</p><p>“Ryan, she’s not going to break,” Allison whispered and kissed her concerned husband's cheek. “Relax.”</p><p>“She might,” Ryan mumbled but sat back down and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “You haven’t seen her at work. It’s terrifying.”</p><p>“I can still hear you!” Quinn bellowed from the kitchen.</p><p>“How has she been at work?” Rachel whispered, leaning over conspiratorially. </p><p>Santana quirked an eyebrow, shrugging to herself, and bent over as well, not wanting to be out of the huddle.</p><p>“Yesterday she started crying about paperclips,” Ryan said as he shuddered for effect. “I think Conrad shit himself.”</p><p>“This little Quinnfant seems to making her more crazy than the last one.” Santana added.</p><p>“Her Mom said it’s because it’s a boy,” Rachel sighed. “I think it’s just the stress of working and the twins.”</p><p>“And you,” Santana snickered.</p><p>Rachel narrowed her eyes over at her while Allison and Ryan suddenly found the ceiling very interesting. “I have been nothing but supportive and understanding. You don’t know what it’s like Santana. Just you wait until it’s your turn. I bet the decaf coffee will make you want to cry too.”</p><p>Ryan groaned, “Those first couple of weeks when she started on the decaf were a nightmare.”</p><p>“You can’t have caffeine?” Santana looked horrified.</p><p>Allison shrugged, “it’s supposed to be bad for the pregnancy.”</p><p>“I’m adopting,” Santana announced and shook her head. “I already make interns cry on a regular basis, I might actually strangle one of them without my coffee.”</p><p>“Rachel?”</p><p>At the call of her name Rachel leapt to her feet, jarring Santana so hard she almost face planted on the carpet. The tone of Quinn’s voice had the fine hairs at the back of her neck standing on end. “Quinn?”</p><p>Quinn reappeared around the corner, face completely white, and both hands plastered to her belly. “My water broke.”</p><p>Rachel paled so fast Ryan reached for her in case she actually fainted. “It’s too early,” she stammered, eyes locked on Quinn’s stomach.</p><p>“Tell him that,” Quinn groaned as she leaned heavily against the wall.</p><p>Allison jumped up, Santana right alongside her. “You guys go, I’ve got the twins. Ryan can text me when it’s okay to bring them.”</p><p>“Nobody panic,” Rachel squeaked, still frozen in place like her feet had been glued to the carpet. “Ryan, take Quinn to the car, please. Keys are in the bowl by the front door. Santana, the hospital bag is in the coat closet, just there.” Rachel pointed and eased over to Quinn, as though she might explode in any second. She stood up on her tiptoes and softly kissed Quinn’s cheek. “I’m going to go talk to the girls really fast. I love you, everything’s going to be fine.”</p><p>Ryan very gently pulled Quinn into him and started leading her away while Santana darted for the closet, leaving Allison staring at the side of Rachel’s head.</p><p>“Rachel?”</p><p>“I - yeah. Sorry. Um, let’s go, I have to go talk to the girls.”</p><p>Allison smiled and grabbed Rachel’s hand. “Lead the way.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. What's Past is Present pt. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You need to go talk to your child.”</p><p>Quinn blinked at the abruptness of it all and dropped her arms down to her sides, palms slapping against her thighs. “Hi, I missed you too. Work was fine; how was your day?”</p><p>Rachel sighed hard, blowing her bangs up and out of teary coffee-colored eyes, and leaned her elbow against the sink she had been furiously scrubbing. “Sorry. Hello, Quinn, how was work? Good? Good. I missed you so much. Please go upstairs and talk to your child.”</p><p>“That’s a little better, but can I get some more information before I interrogate the wrong child?” Stepping around the island, Quinn reached out and put her palm down on Rachel’s hand, stilling the movement that had started up again. “You’re upset.”</p><p>“I – “ Rachel bowed her head, abandoned the sponge, and sagged into Quinn. “Anna called me and said the school was trying to get ahold of us. I was on a break, so I had my phone on. She said there’d been a fight at the school. When I picked up the twins they were both crying and neither would say a word to me. They’ve been talking in that language they made up, but won’t say anything intelligible. Then I got a good look at Liv, who’d been doing that ‘I hide in my hair’ thing, and she’s got a black eye! Mrs. Booklaw said we have to see the principal tomorrow and the girls have detention.”</p><p>“Someone hit our daughter?”</p><p>Rachel twisted to look up, her lips set in a hard line. “She won’t talk to me, and Eliza hasn’t stopped crying since we got home.”</p><p>“Alright, I’ll find out what’s going on. I’m sure they want to tell you, Rach; they’re probably scared you’ll get in trouble for cussing out whoever the little twerp is that hit Liv.” Quinn smiled and ducked to lightly kiss the corner of Rachel’s frown. “Where’s Caleb?”</p><p>“In the living room, completely enthralled with the magic of Kung Fu Panda.”</p><p>“Do you want me to take him with me?” It took some coaxing, but Quinn eventually got Rachel to look up at her again. “Maybe you should go watch some Panda with him.”</p><p>“I just can’t – I don’t want them to go through the bullying, Quinn. I’d do anything to keep them from experiencing that.”</p><p>They rarely spoke of high school, mostly because it wasn’t necessary – everything that had seemed so important, the memories they thought would last forever, had faded.  Neither Quinn nor Rachel ever brought up the hostile environment Rachel had experienced. Thinking about Liv and Eliza being treated even the slightest bit similarly made Quinn feel guilty -- horribly guilty. She’d done everything in her power to make sure that Rachel never saw the insecure cheerleader from their past appear again. But knowing that something that could so profoundly influence their children was out of her hands, especially something that hit so close to home for both her and Rachel – it didn’t sit well.</p><p>“I know you feel helpless, and I do too, but there’s nothing we can do except to teach them how to handle it with grace. Just like their mother.” Quinn kissed Rachel again, this time on the forehead as she let her lips linger, knowing just how hard this had to be on her wife.</p><p>“It’s not fair,” Rachel whispered. She returned Quinn’s affection, kissing her pale neck. “History shouldn’t repeat itself.”</p><p>“It’s going to be fine. I’ll go talk to them.” Quinn promised, and squeezed Rachel tightly before reluctantly letting go.</p><p>On her way to the staircase, Quinn paused, peeking into the living room where the sounds of Kung Fu Panda could be heard. Caleb was sitting on the floor, much too close to the television, his blankie in one fist and Bebo, the stuffed dog, in his other. Quinn grinned at his wonderstruck expression and the way that his blond hair was sticking up in all directions - most likely from a nap. It was about time for another haircut. </p><p>Jeepers greeted her at the top of the stairs, stopping his paw licking long enough to regard her cooly. Quinn sneered down at him, “Satan,” she acknowledged. He stood up and strolled away from her, heading down the way she’d come. “You could make yourself useful and go see your owner,” she called after him.</p><p>As she neared the twins’ shared room she could hear the soft sounds of conversation and sniffling, and her stomach twisted. She set her palm flat against the door and leaned her forehead down against it, vision blurring as she thought about all the times Rachel must’ve done the same thing. Except Rachel hadn’t had a twin, or a sibling, to talk to - and knowing Rachel as she did - she figured her wife never even gave her fathers any indication that she was upset. She wondered how many times it had been her fault, how often those tears had been the result of the horrible teasing - the straight up abuse - she had taken at the hands of ‘popular’ kids or even people that had been Rachel’s supposed friends. How many times those insults had rolled right off her tongue, her words used to hurt, but mostly to mask her fear at liking Rachel. She’d been so lost, confused, and horrible - telling Sam she needed to think up new ways to ‘torture’ the woman she now had the honor of calling her wife. Her regret, her shame, it had never gone away - she didn’t think it ever would, and she spent every day with Rachel trying to treat her with all the love and respect she’d always felt but hadn’t had the guts to express when they were younger.</p><p>Now here she was, outside their children’s room, and the guilt of it made her want to do anything and everything to make this better. For all of them.</p><p>With a deep breath for courage Quinn set her jaw and pushed open the door, noting that all conversation stopped the second she started to enter.</p><p>“Ladies,” she said and smiled sweetly.</p><p>Olivia, who was indeed sporting a giant black eye, immediately bowed her head, long dark hair sweeping forward and obscuring her face. Eliza pressed up close to her twin and looked Quinn dead in the eye, her lower lip trembling. “Mama,” she whimpered, and started crying again.</p><p>Quinn bit her lip and closed the door behind her, not sure if she should rush over to them or give them space. Sometimes they wanted to be cuddled immediately when they were upset, and other times the slightest physical contact only served to make them more hysterical. </p><p>She watched them carefully and a little helplessly. Liv twisted, still hiding her face and said something in gibberish to her twin.</p><p>Eliza nodded and then reached both hands out to Quinn.</p><p>That was all the encouragement Quinn needed; she rushed forward and picked Eliza up, even though she was getting too big to be held that way. Eliza wrapped both her arms and legs around Quinn and stuck her face into her mother’s neck.</p><p>“Baby Bug,” Quinn breathed and sat back down on the bed, freeing one arm to wrap it around Olivia as well. “What happened?”</p><p>“Trevor - Trevor...” Eliza stuttered and clung more fiercely to Quinn. “Ollie.” She keened, the special nickname shooting another sharp pain through Quinn’s chest.</p><p>“It’s okay, Ellie,” Olivia responded, taking Eliza’s hand in her own.</p><p>“Trevor Smith, from your class?” Quinn asked, rubbing gently at Eliza’s back.</p><p>Olivia still wouldn’t meet her gaze, but she nodded. Quinn sighed again and tipped Liv’s face up to her. She brushed back tendrils of hair and tried not to wince as she touched the bruise marring her little girl’s face. “Did he do this?”</p><p>Blushing, Olivia nodded again and pressed herself into Quinn’s side. “Trevor said - we were playing at recess and he pushed Eliza and said we were freaks because we have two Mommies and that you were going to go to Hell because God doesn’t love gay people. Then he kissed her and she told him no and - and he called her a dyke because real girls kissed boys. I punched him and he hit me back and then the teacher came and got us.”</p><p>Two things happened, rather swiftly, to Quinn. First her heart felt like it broke inside her chest as her breath hitched, and then anger hit her so hard she could barely contain herself. The urge to throw something, and hear the corresponding and satisfying shattering noise, overwhelmed her. Her hands shook against the twins’ backs.</p><p>“We have detention, and they called Anna ‘cause you and Mommy were at work.”</p><p>Quinn struggled to get her body to respond, managing to nod that she understood. Olivia blanched at the controlled reaction and her face crumpled. </p><p>“I’m so sorry,” Quinn choked out and awkwardly turned to hug both of them. “I’m so, so, sorry that happened to you.”</p><p>“You’re not going to Hell, are you?” Eliza asked in a hushed voice, her breath tickling Quinn’s neck.</p><p>“Nobody’s going to Hell, sweetheart. Only bad people go to Hell.” Quinn closed her eyes and ducked her head down, kissing first the side of Eliza’s head and then Liv’s. “Can we go downstairs? We should put some ice on Livvy’s face.”</p><p>“Mommy’s mad,” Olivia said, shaking her head adamantly. </p><p>“She’s not mad,” Quinn replied, pulling back to look at both flushed faces, their big, teary, brown eyes eating away at her. She saw Rachel in the twins so often, and those eyes... “She’s really sad that you didn’t talk to her. Is that why you didn’t tell her? You thought she was mad?”</p><p>“She had to leave work to come get us,” Eliza said. “She looked mad when she talked to Mrs. Booklaw.”</p><p>“Your Mommy loves you very, very, much. She was just upset that something happened to you.”</p><p>“We made her sad?” Liv asked, twisting Quinn’s wedding band around and around.</p><p>“She’s just worried,” Quinn assured them. “How about I go talk to her first and then we can all make her feel better?”</p><p>“Okay,” they agreed in unison.</p><p>“Okay,” Quinn untangled Eliza from her and set her back on the bed where she immediately latched back on to Olivia.</p><p>When she opened the door back up she found Jeepers sitting there, as if he’d been waiting. Impulsively she bent down and scooped him up. To her surprise he didn’t struggle, but allowed her to hold him for a few moments. She put him back down and he darted into the girls room, talking to them in his odd, mewling cat voice, and she heard giggling in response.</p><p>“Damn cat,” she sniffled to herself and hurried down the steps toward the sounds of her wife and son.</p><p>“Again!” Caleb squealed happily just as she rounded the corner into the living room. He was sitting in Rachel’s lap now, pointing at the television as credits rolled. Rachel groaned, but she was smiling as she kissed his towhead and reached for the remote.</p><p>“Are you sure we can’t watch something else, little man? Hercules, maybe?”</p><p>“Panda!” Caleb demanded with a fierce pout.</p><p>“Hercules, Hercules, Hercules,” Rachel chanted, until he glared up at her and firmly shook his head. “Alright, alright - Panda it is.” She sighed and started the movie over again. Caleb clapped his hands together and bounced in her lap.</p><p>“You realize we’re going to have to put him in karate at some point, right?” Quinn asked, announcing her presence to them.</p><p>“Mama!” Caleb cried and squirmed in Rachel’s grasp. “Mommy, le’ go!”</p><p>He stumbled a bit as he climbed to his feet and rushed over to Quinn on his short legs. “Mama!”</p><p>Quinn grinned and stooped to catch him as he tripped and crashed into her. She lifted him easily enough and set him on her hip so they could talk. “Hey Peanut, I missed you. Did you have a good day?”</p><p>“Mommy got me,” Caleb told her, quite seriously, and patted her cheeks with his soft hands. </p><p>“I heard,” Quinn said and playfully tried to catch his fingers with her mouth. “Did you like that?”</p><p>“Yeah! And then we - we watch Panda!”</p><p>“I see.”</p><p>“Play with me?” He asked, tugging lightly at her hair.</p><p>“In a bit, I have to talk to Mommy first.”</p><p>“‘Cause Eza was crying?”</p><p>Big hazel eyes bored into her, and Quinn nodded slowly, a little mesmerized by the intelligence in his expression.</p><p>“Down,” he said and pointed at the floor. Quinn carefully set him on his feet and fondly watched him clamber up onto the couch. “I have Bebo?”</p><p>Rachel picked up the stuffed dog, “What do you say?”</p><p>“Please?”</p><p>She handed off the beloved toy and stood up, lip caught between her teeth as she observed Quinn. “I could use a glass of water,” she said.</p><p>Quinn nodded and followed Rachel into the kitchen, where their son wouldn’t be able to hear them. Not that he was paying attention to them anyway.</p><p>“Well?” Rachel asked as soon as she had gulped down half a tall glass of cool water.</p><p>“Trevor Smith,” Quinn all but spit the name out. “He, um, he... Can you come here, please?” Quinn opened her arms and sighed heavily when Rachel eagerly leaned into her. “We need to call his parents, I think. Is there a way to get their number?”</p><p>“Quinn, you’re in the FBI,” Rachel reminded her with an eye-roll. “And stop trying to distract me.”</p><p>The quickest way, Quinn knew, to get all the information out would be to just say it. However, she also knew that Rachel was going to react, she just didn’t know how. Still, she launched into her explanation, hitting all the points as bluntly as possible. “He told the girls we were going to Hell, kissed Eliza and called her a dyke when she told him no. Liv punched the little asshole and he hit her back.”</p><p>Rachel pulled back, mouth open in shocked outrage, “He did what?”</p><p>Quinn shook her head, “I never imagined - I knew there was a possibility of them being exposed to this awfulness at some point in their life, but I didn’t...”</p><p>“What do we do?” Rachel asked, rubbing at her forehead as she tried to keep from crying, or possibly breaking everything in the kitchen. “How do we handle this?”</p><p>“I don’t... I don’t actually know. Do you have an idea?” Quinn knew that Rachel would be better with this. She’d heard stories about things done to the Berry home - the graffiti and vandalism. She knew that Rachel had been taunted about having two fathers. Though as she’d gotten older and learned words like ACLU people had backed off, more than happy to target her for other things. Quinn groaned and massaged the back of Rachel’s neck, needing to move but not wanting to let go. They’d both be pacing and most likely break something if they weren’t currently engaged with trying to keep the other calm.</p><p>“What did you tell them?”</p><p>“That we aren’t going to Hell because only bad people go to Hell. They’re so young... I didn’t know what to say, or how much to say. I thought maybe we should talk to them together?”</p><p>Rachel whimpered and cast her gaze up at the ceiling, tears shimmering in the gentle lighting. “Why didn’t they tell me?”</p><p>“They didn’t want to upset you.”</p><p>“I - “ Rachel reluctantly pulled away and picked her glass back up, downing the rest of it with hurried, greedy gulps. “I don’t know if I should cry or just be furious. Not with the girls, but just, this is... why? Why, Quinn?”</p><p>“I don’t have an answer. I wish the world was different; I wish that people would stop and think before they spoke, or taught their kids that it’s okay to say stuff like that.”</p><p>“My babies,” Rachel whispered, turning agonized eyes to Quinn. “Our babies, Quinn.”</p><p>“I’m going to call them down here and we’ll talk to them, okay? We can’t stop it from happening again, but we can help them deal with it.”</p><p>Rachel nodded and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Do we punish Liv for fighting?”</p><p>Quinn hesitated, “I don’t know how we can, but if we don’t... do you think we should?”</p><p>“Quinn, we can’t have her beating everyone who ever says something mean. That’s not how we want her to handle things, right?”</p><p>“No, but it seems wrong to punish her for standing up for herself and Eliza. I mean, how do we punish her for doing the right thing, even if it was the wrong way?”</p><p>“We have to. She has to know that fighting isn’t the way to deal with a bully,” Rachel said, her eyes unfocused and distant, various high school memories playing out inside her head. None of them had been innocent in it, herself included, and she pursed her lips as she thought of Sunshine. “We have to teach her the right way to deal with bullies and keep her from becoming one herself.”</p><p>“Ground her?” Quinn asked, hating how wrong the word tasted. “We’ve never grounded her before.”</p><p>“I know, I know. Three days, no TV?”</p><p>“Including family movie night?” Quinn screwed her eyes shut at the mere thought of it. Family movie night was intended for bonding - and, of course, to Rachel it meant exposure for their children to the wonder of the ‘arts’. To deny Olivia that... Quinn had to wonder what sort of impact it would make. They hadn’t spanked the girls in a long time, and TV was the biggest thing they had to take away, but this was also taking away family. Family that Quinn felt Olivia needed with what was going on.</p><p>Rachel grimaced, “We have to.”</p><p>“I’ll go get them,” Quinn said glumly, heart heavy as she accepted what Rachel had said. It wasn’t that she disagreed, she just wished more than anything that they didn’t have to. On her way she checked on Caleb again, promising herself time with him as soon as they finished talking to his sisters.<br/>
“Liv, Eliza?” she called lightly and pinched the bridge of her nose to battle the encroaching headache. They approached the top of the stairs, hands tightly clasped together. Quinn watched them slowly walk down towards her, as if they were headed to the gallows. </p><p>Olivia wasn’t hiding in her hair anymore, and Quinn winced as she got a better look at her eye. “How’s your head, Livvy?”</p><p>“It hurts,” she murmured.</p><p>Quinn swallowed, “Let’s put some ice on it.” Holding her hands out, she smiled tightly when each wrapped a tiny hand around her fingers.</p><p>Eliza hid behind Quinn when they entered the kitchen, while Olivia boldly lifted her chin, but Quinn saw the cracks in her tough girl facade. It reminded her of herself, hiding behind her cheerleading uniform like armor. She made a mental note to keep an eye on the behavior, not wanting Liv to fall into the same trap she had. It had taken her a long time to learn that being courageous didn’t mean acting like nothing affected you, that being tough didn’t have to equal harsh words and a ‘badass’ demeanor. Rachel had been far braver than Quinn had ever been - because she was never afraid to be hurt; she showed true bravery by being hurt and overcoming it to shine on anyway.</p><p>“Oh, Livvy...  it’s swelling, come here.”  Rachel’s voice pulled Quinn from her thoughts and she let go of small hands as Rachel reached out.</p><p>Olivia looked slightly shocked when Rachel hefted her up onto the counter and gently kissed her cheek. “Mommy?”</p><p>“Just a second,” Rachel said, “let me get some ice.”</p><p>Quinn pulled Eliza out from behind her and set her next to Liv, a lopsided smile pulling at her mouth as their feet automatically started kicking in sync.</p><p>Rachel set a towel wrapped baggie full of ice against Liv’s face, eyebrows drawn together as she examined the mark.  “Mama told me what happened.”</p><p>“He called me a bad word a-and said you and Mama were going to Hell,” Eliza said. “I don’t want you to go there.”</p><p>“We’re not baby, your Mama’s right,” Rachel said. “Only bad people go there.”</p><p>“You know what he said was wrong, right?” Quinn asked, unable to keep herself from cuddling Eliza who was tearing up again. “You’re not freaks. What he said to you was very wrong and meant to hurt you. And he certainly shouldn’t have kissed you. I’m proud of you for saying no, and Olivia, you were very right to stand up for your sister...”</p><p>“But you can’t solve these things by hitting people,” Rachel interjected. “That was wrong, Monkey. You know, people used to pick on me too, because of you grandpas.”</p><p>“They did?” Olivia asked.</p><p>“Yes they did - a lot - but I never hit them, no matter how much I wanted to. You have to be better than that. You are better than that. Don’t stoop to their level, or ever let them see how angry it makes you, okay? Remember what we said about how when Caleb is bothering you if you ignore him he’ll stop? It’s the same way with bullies - if you let them see how upset they make you they won’t stop. That doesn’t mean you don’t tell us - you can always tell us anything, especially if someone is picking on you. Even a just little.”</p><p>“There is nothing wrong with you, or our family. Your mother and I love each other and we love you too, and that’s all that matters. It’s sad when other people can’t see that.” Quinn said. Eliza tilted her head back, catching Quinn’s eyes and Olivia nodded gravely, stretching her hand out to touch the pendant hanging around Rachel’s neck.</p><p>“Exactly,” Rachel sighed. “Now, Olivia, while we’re proud of you for knowing to stand up for yourself and defending your sister, we are disappointed that you hit Trevor.”</p><p>Olivia ducked her head, cheeks turning bright pink. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>“I know you’ve got detention after school tomorrow, but you’re also...” Quinn bit her lip and looked to Rachel who shrugged sadly and stroked her hand over Liv’s head. “Liv, you’re grounded for the next three days. No TV.”</p><p>Rachel and Quinn waited for the inevitable explosion with baited breath, only to be completely surprised when Livvy didn’t do anything more than bob her head in acceptance before laying it down on Eliza’s shoulder.</p><p>“Me too?” Eliza asked.</p><p>“No, baby, just Olivia,” Rachel said, shocked at how calm they both were being. They were mini-hers after all - she was sort of expecting some form of a storm out.</p><p>“Can I go to my room now?” Liv asked.</p><p>Quinn shared another glance with Rachel over their heads and offered a shrug of her own. “Yeah.”</p><p>Rachel carefully lifted Olivia off the counter and set her down. Liv tilted her head back and stared at her for a moment before hugging her tightly. “I’m really sorry, Mommy.”</p><p>“I love you, Monkey,” Rachel said. “We need to talk to Eliza for a bit, okay? I’ll call you down when dinner’s done.”</p><p>Olivia walked solemnly from the room, dragging her pink Converse across the hardwood. Quinn watched her go and in turning around found Eliza clinging to Rachel. Not yet crying, but she was doing that hiccupping thing she did right before she started sobbing.</p><p>“Elza,” Rachel cooed into soft hair, face scrunched in utter pain.</p><p>“I didn’t mean to get Livvy in trouble!”</p><p>“It’s not your fault,” Quinn said, pushing lightly on Rachel’s shoulder until she turned so Quinn could hold them both. Rachel set her forehead against her wife’s shoulder as Quinn kissed one dark haired head and then the other.</p><p>Eliza started sobbing in earnest, and Quinn started rocking them from side to side, while Rachel whispered  into Eliza’s ear. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You were exactly right.”</p><p>“I was scared,” Eliza wailed, small chest heaving as she struggled to breathe.</p><p>“Breathe, Eliza - come on, slow breaths,” Quinn coached, afraid Eliza would start hyperventilating if they couldn’t calm her down.</p><p>“You can do it - do it with me,” Rachel urged, dramatically sucking in a huge breath and slowly expelling it. Eliza stared at her and mimicked Rachel. She was still wheezy and shuddery, but after a couple more inhales she seemed better. Quinn bent down to her eye-level and brushed away the lingering tear drops. “That’s our girl.”</p><p>“If something like this ever happens again, you run.  You run and you find a grown-up and tell them, okay?” Rachel said, looking at Quinn the entire time.</p><p>Quinn took a still choking Eliza from Rachel’s arms and kissed her forehead. “Do you want to go watch Panda with Caleb while we cook dinner?”</p><p>A button nose scrunched up at the mention of her baby brother, but Eliza eventually nodded as her breathing settled. “He needs a new movie,” she said.</p><p>“I bet we could convince him to watch Bolt,” Quinn said, smiling when Eliza brightened.</p><p>“Only because he thinks Bebo is Bolt,” Eliza informed them as Quinn put her down. She grabbed Quinn’s hand and bit into her bottom lip - a perfect, heartbreaking copy of Rachel. “Can I go upstairs with Olivia?”</p><p>Rachel was discreetly wiping at her eyes when Quinn cast a glance her way to see what she thought. “Let’s leave Livvy alone for a bit, okay?”</p><p>Eliza’s face fell but she nodded and let go of Quinn’s hand. She hesitated, only for a second, before she left the kitchen. Quinn titled her head and listened, waiting to see if the squeak of the stairs would give Eliza away.</p><p>“Eza!” She heard instead.</p><p>“We have good kids,” she remarked and turned to find Rachel hunched over the sink, staring blankly at the drain. “Rachel?”</p><p>“I need to process,” Rachel said, far away again - desperately trying not to remember incidents from her youth. “Can we talk about it later, after dinner and baths? I just - I need some time.”</p><p>Quinn swallowed hard, “Yeah, sure. How about we order pizza instead of cooking? They had a pretty rough day.”</p><p>“Normally I would disagree, but I don’t feel like cooking, or helping you cook, anyway.”</p><p>“I’ll call,” Quinn offered and went to retrieve her phone.</p><p>Rachel closed her eyes, took a huge breath and held it, counting to ten before releasing it. Her mind was still muddied - too much history melding in with the present - but she felt a bit better. Well enough to venture out and join Caleb and Eliza at least.</p><p>“Mommy,” Caleb whined and held up his chubby fists. “Eza says we watch Bebo.”</p><p>“It’s Bolt,” Eliza corrected, holding the dvd case close to her body. “Mama said we could.”</p><p>“That she did, little man,” Rachel agreed and poked his nose. She had to smile when one of his eyebrows leapt up and disappeared under his bangs. “You need a haircut,” she informed him, running a hand through his baby fine hair as she sat next to him.</p><p>“No,” he said simply, crawling into her lap. He grabbed her hands and put them both on his head.</p><p>“Mhmm,” Rachel hummed and started stroking his hair as silently demanded. “You’ve got the Lion King look going on with this mane.”</p><p>“Simba?”</p><p>“That should’a been his name,” Eliza giggled as she expertly inserted the Bolt disc into the player.</p><p>“Caleb Andrew Simba Fabray,” Rachel said and dotted a kiss to the crown of his shiny blond head. “Now that’s a mouthful.”</p><p>Quinn came into the living room and dropped on the other side of the couch with an exaggerated groan. “My feet are killing me.”</p><p>Caleb stretched out as far as he could without falling off of Rachel’s lap and patted Quinn’s knee. “Mommy kiss it better.”</p><p>Rachel wrinkled her nose, “Your Mama has lovely feet, Caleb, but I’d rather not kiss them.”</p><p>Eliza crawled up into Quinn’s lap and dutifully handed off the controller. Quinn winked over at Rachel and hit the play button, swiftly abandoning the remote in favor of cuddling the child in her lap.</p><p>A knock at the door pulled them up from their Bolt stupor, and Rachel frowned as she turned to look at the clock. “There’s no way that’s the pizza.”</p><p>“Za?” Caleb repeated excitedly.</p><p>“Eliza, I have to get up, baby.” Quinn said and prodded Eliza gently until she moved over to snuggle into Rachel. </p><p>Briefly, Quinn considered the pistol she'd left in the kitchen - out of reach of small hands, of course - as she approached the front door. She shook her head, buried her jitters, and checked the peephole, only to frown in confusion. It definitely wasn't the pizza man, which wasn't a surprise, but the couple standing on her front porch weren't familiar.</p><p>"Rachel?" She called over her shoulder. "Were you expecting anyone from the cast?"</p><p>"No," Rachel said as she came up behind Quinn with a puzzled expression. "I told Steven I had a family emergency when I left the set this afternoon. I doubt anyone would be coming over."</p><p>Frown deepening, Quinn pulled open the door, one hand reaching back to guide Rachel further behind her - just in case. "Hello?"</p><p>"Mrs. Fabray?" The man asked nervously.</p><p>Quinn nodded and then noticed that standing in front of the nice enough looking couple was a small boy - sporting a swollen nose and busted lip.</p><p>A bit of pride welled in Quinn's chest as she recognized her daughter's handiwork. Santana would be so proud.</p><p>"You must be the Smiths," she said and schooled her features. Not wanting to be antagonistic with them didn't mean she was going to be open and friendly either.</p><p>"Yes, I'm Matthew, this is my wife Audrey," he said and held out his hand. "And our son, Trevor."</p><p>Quinn wondered when the name calling would start, and the accusations, but warily accepted the handshake. "Quinn," she said and started to twist to introduce Rachel but she was beaten to it.</p><p>"I'm Rachel Fabray, Quinn's wife," Rachel said coolly, arms crossed over her chest as she leaned into Quinn's side.</p><p>"Listen, we don't want to intrude on your evening, but we know what happened today and we came over to apologize. Trevor came over to apologize," Matthew emphasized, placing his hand on his son's head. Trevor squirmed and continued to stare intently at his feet. "We, um, look our older son is in High School and Trevor got the idea from him and we're just..."</p><p>"We're so sorry," Audrey blurted and looked at Quinn with pained blue eyes. "We never - I had no idea Derek was talking like that, let alone around Trevor, and we didn't..."</p><p>"You didn't teach your son to say the word dyke and didn't intend for him to pick it up and use it on our child?" Rachel finished, hissing the word 'dyke' through her teeth.</p><p>"No, not at all, no," Matthew rushed out. "We're so terribly sorry and very embarrassed by his behavior."</p><p>"I didn't know what it was," Trevor said and winced. "Honest."</p><p>Quinn looked over at Rachel, silently asking what she wanted to do. Rachel deflated slightly then stepped to the side. "Would you like to come in?"</p><p>"Oh, no, we didn't want to disturb -" </p><p>Rachel cut them off with a wave of her hand, "Nonsense, please, you're not disturbing anything."</p><p>The Smiths shuffled their way into the house and Quinn smiled as politely as she could, feeling like it might break her face. She kept thinking about Liv's black eye and how hard Eliza had been crying. Matthew was looking around the room and she saw his attention return to the entryway table where her badge was sitting. </p><p>“You’re with the NYPD?” he asked.</p><p>“FBI,” Quinn said and saw Trevor blanch out of the corner of her eye. “I’ll get the girls.”</p><p>"Mama!" Caleb chirped, popping up from the couch, and then ducked back down when he saw the strangers. “Who that?”</p><p>“Can you say ‘hi’ to our guests?” Rachel asked him, smiling when just the top of his head and his eyes reappeared. </p><p>He shook his head and disappeared again.</p><p>“He’s adorable,” Audrey said, and wiggled her fingers in a small wave as Caleb peeked at them again.</p><p>“Thank you,” Rachel said. Quinn went to the stairs and called for Olivia, then stepped around the couch and crouched down. </p><p>Rachel couldn’t hear what was whispered, but she felt like her heart was being constricted at how Eliza had hidden herself. She wondered if they were too young to be put into therapy and made note to ask her father’s later when they’d put her in. It hadn’t come up before, but Rachel knew that Quinn had been to see a therapist when they were younger as well – perhaps neither of them felt the need to discuss that particular aspect of their life. Rachel was afraid that talking about why she had seen a therapist would throw Quinn into a depression. Quinn wasn’t the main antagonist, or even the initial reason why Rachel’s fathers had sent her to therapy, but Quinn would attempt to take most of, if not all, the blame.</p><p>Olivia stopped and almost stumbled down the last step when she saw the group gathered in the entryway. “Mom?”</p><p>“It’s alright, Liv,” Quinn said, standing back up with Eliza in her arms once again.</p><p>“Come here, baby,” Rachel prompted, holding her hand out. Olivia walked over and accepted the hand, eyes trained steadfastly on a blushing Trevor.</p><p>The Smiths grimaced in unison as they got a glimpse of Liv’s bruise, and Quinn saw a muscle twitch in Matthew’s jaw as Audrey stared down at her son in disbelief.</p><p>“Eliza, I’m going to put you down, okay?”</p><p>Eliza shook her head furiously and tightened her arms around Quinn’s neck.</p><p>“Be brave for me,” Quinn whispered, as she bent down and pried Eliza away from her.</p><p>The twins gravitated towards each other like magnets, hands twining as they pressed back against Quinn and Rachel. </p><p>“Oh Trevor how – “ Audrey stammered, watching the timid little girls in front of her try to meld themselves into their parents.</p><p>“Trevor, buddy,” Matthew sighed and knelt down next to his son. “What do you say?”</p><p>“I’m really sorry that I called you a dyke and kissed you,” Trevor said to the floor, until his father nudged him and gave him a stern look. He finally met Olivia’s suspicious brown eyes and then Eliza’s. “I’m really sorry, Eliza. I was trying to be cool.”</p><p>Eliza’s lips trembled, “You said my Mommies were going to Hell.”</p><p>Trevor swallowed at the choked noise his mother made – he hadn’t told them that part. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“And?” Matthew hinted.</p><p>“Olivia, I’m sorry that I hit you. Men aren’t ever supposed to hit girls. I hope you can forgive me.”</p><p>Olivia glanced up at Rachel then Quinn. “I’m sorry that I hit you too.”</p><p>“What else, Trevor?” Audrey asked.</p><p>“I’m sorry I was mean to Olivia and Eliza, and said you were going to Hell,” Trevor said, lifting teary eyes up to Rachel and Quinn. “I’ll never do it again, I promise.”</p><p>Rachel decided to set the example. “Apology accepted.”</p><p>Quinn tapped both girls on the head and gestured at Trevor.</p><p>“We forgive you,” they said.</p><p>Matthew smiled tightly and stood back up, “Thank you for letting us into your home and allowing Trevor to apologize.”</p><p>“Of course,” Rachel said, smoothing her palm over Liv’s head.</p><p>Releasing her gentle grip on Eliza’s shoulders Quinn stepped forward to herd their impromptu guests out of their house. She did so affably, of course, but swiftly nonetheless. With the door closed behind them, Quinn turned and let it hold her up. Exhaustion settled heavily on her mind and her eyelids drooped.</p><p>“Is they gone?” Caleb asked, so suddenly breaking the silence that all of them jumped.</p><p>Quinn started laughing, and swooped in to grab him and swing him around, delighting in his high pitched laughter. “Yup, they’re gone.” She turned her face and pointed at her cheek, “Mama needs a kiss.”</p><p>He delivered the requested sentiment sloppily with an enthusiastic ‘Muah!’ </p><p>Rachel sank to her knees in front of the twins, and tugged on their earlobes. “Proud of you,” she said softly, as they crowded into her for a hug.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. What's Past is Present pt. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The rest of the evening passed by quickly enough that it was almost normal, aside from Olivia's more than obvious absence. Feeling guilty over punishing her, Rachel had tried to get her to stay downstairs and play a board game but Liv refused, opting instead to go back to her room. Rachel wasn't exactly sure what that was about. Part of her believed that Liv was trying to accept her punishment with grace, but the other part thought it had more to do with making her and Quinn feel bad, something she was achieving in spades. Olivia reminded Rachel of herself more and more, and she knew for fact that young Rachel Berry would have done her level best to make her fathers feel guilty.</p><p>Quinn kept looking at the staircase as did Eliza, until eventually Rachel couldn't take it anymore, telling Eliza she could go upstairs if she wanted. Quinn shot her a look - a look which Rachel pointedly ignored - but she did accept the hand that reached across to tangle with hers.</p><p>It wasn't until bath time that spirits lifted again; the heavy tension that they'd all been swimming in seemed to dissipate as the air was filled with the sounds of splashing and squealing laughter. The twins were busy playing with Quinn down the hall while Rachel helped Caleb - as much as he would let her.</p><p>"No, Mommy, I do it!" Caleb pouted, trying to pull the shampoo bottle from her hands.</p><p>"Okay, Peanut, not too much," Rachel instructed, watching carefully as he poured some soap into his hands. She sighed and leaned back, trying not to laugh as he lathered his hair with such a serious expression. He'd be demanding to do it all on his own soon. "You're growing up too fast," she told him.</p><p>"Big boy," he said, beaming up at her as he slapped his hands down into the water, shrieking with laughter as he sprayed her.</p><p>Rachel sighed again and flicked off the droplet of water clinging to the tip of her nose. "Definitely a boy."</p><p>He giggled quietly and closed his eyes trustingly when she leaned him back to rinse out his hair. "Mommy?"</p><p>"Hm?" She sat him back up and ran her fingers through his hair, making it stand up all over.</p><p>"You sing the song tonight?"</p><p>"I thought you were a big boy?" Rachel asked, pulling up the stopper on the tub once she was satisfied that Caleb had no lingering shampoo residue. She smiled to herself, silently thrilled that he'd asked. The girls had outgrown lullabies at bedtime and she knew it wouldn't be too long before Caleb didn't want them anymore either.</p><p>"I be the baby at night?" Caleb offered, shaking her hands off as he climbed over the edge of the tub.</p><p>Swallowing back the sudden urge to cry, Rachel caught him in a fluffy towel and hugged him close. "You will always be my baby."</p><p>He studied her, the frown on his little mouth so like Quinn that it made her breath catch. Those giant hazel eyes locked on hers and held, and then his hand reached up from the towel and patted her cheek. He didn't say anything, just broke into a smile when she grinned at him, barely holding on to her emotions.</p><p>Crazy day, she thought, tickling Caleb's tummy as he lifted his hands up in the air so she could pull his pajama shirt over his head.</p><p>"Spiderman," he cheered and splayed stubby fingers across his chest. "Mommy, Spiderman!"</p><p>"I see that," she said and helped him into the rest of his clothes. There was a gap now, a bit of his baby belly showing between the bottom of his shirt and the matching fuzzy red pants. She bit her lip and tugged at the hem, sad to realize his favorite jammies would have to be replaced. He pushed her hand away from his ticklish tummy and bounced on his footie-covered feet.</p><p>"Up?"</p><p>So much for big boy, Rachel chuckled and hoisted him up onto her hip.</p><p>As she walked down the hall towards Caleb's room she passed the twins' and peeked her head around the open doorway. Quinn was sitting on the floor between the girls' beds, completely engrossed in whatever book she was reading for them. Olivia saw her and waved before snuggling back under her blanket; Eliza was far too interested in what Quinn was saying to notice anything, her dark eyes wide as she stretched out and touched Quinn's hand.</p><p>"Mama, will Stuart be okay?"</p><p>"We'll see won't we?" Quinn said, complete with a 'mysterious' eyebrow waggle. Eliza nodded, pulling her yellow blanket up to her nose in anticipation.</p><p>Rachel left them to Stuart Little with a fond shake of her head and continued down to Caleb's room. She clicked the lights on and blinked a couple of times as the bright colors of a nearly perfect little boy's room assaulted her eyes - the bright fire engine reds of his Batman bedspread and the dark blue of his walls so different from the soft colors in the girls' room. She set him down on the bed and after waiting to make sure he was under the covers and comfortable, with his blankie tucked in alongside, she crawled up beside him. "You still want the song?"</p><p>Caleb nodded, his eyelids already drooping as he squirmed over to her, Bebo held securely under his arm.</p><p>After clearing her throat lightly she started to softly and slowly sing Lay Your Head Down*, running her fingers through his hair as she did.</p><p>He didn't make it through the whole song before he was asleep, and as she tucked him in and kissed his forehead, Rachel remembered that he never could. She turned on his dinosaur night light, flicked the overhead light back off, and crept out the door, careful to leave it open a crack. The house was quiet and dark now; she tiptoed back down the hall amongst shadows and eased the twins' door open. They still had their night light - because Eliza wanted it - and from its gentle glow she could make out the balled lumps of their bodies curled under comforters. She slipped into their room and spared a pat for Jeepers, sleeping at his customary spot at the end of Olivia's bed before she bent down and gently kissed Liv's cheek.</p><p>"I love you. So much," she whispered, her voice thick with unshed tears. She clenched her eyes shut in exasperation as moisture gathered in them. "I'm so proud of you and I'm so sorry for what happened today. It might happen again and I can't stop it, but I would if I could. I hope you don't think that I let you down, and I'll understand if you're mad at me. You're strong, Liv, and you're going to show them all just how strong you are – without fists. I hope that you never feel so trapped that you need to resort to that again."</p><p>She crossed the room and lowered herself onto Eliza's bed next, smiling as she brushed back dark hair and got a look at her face. "And you, my Elza. I'm sorry that that moment was taken from you today, and I wish that I could take it back for you. The world can be harsh; it seems it's always harshest on the gentle ones." Rachel paused, thinking about how odd it was that the twins could be different and so similar, not just to each other but to her as well. "I can't wait to watch you grow up, and I pray every night that you'll get to keep your sweetness. You're so special, Eliza. Don't ever let them take it from you." She placed the softest of kisses on Eliza's warm cheek, unable to resist the rosy, baby-soft, skin. "You're braver than you know, and I'm going to do everything I can to show you that. I hope you'll learn that it's okay to stand up for yourself. It doesn't make you bad, or mean, to say no or be yourself." Wiping at her eyes Rachel kissed Eliza's forehead and quickly snuck out of their room before she decided to curl up on the floor and sleep there.</p><p>The hallway leading to her own bedroom seemed to stretch on and on forever, and she briefly considered sleeping on the couch – but that wouldn't be fair to Quinn. Every step she took felt like slow motion and the door just seemed to get further away. With each of those steps she couldn't help but fall back into the memories she'd been battling since picking the twins up from school.</p><p>Jesse egging her. Finn and their tumultuous 'love' affair. Santana and her never-ending pointed insults. Mercedes. Kurt. The nameless jocks roaming the halls armed with slushies.</p><p>Quinn.</p><p>Treasure trail.</p><p>Man-hands.</p><p>Rachel stopped, her fingers moving under her shirt to touch below her belly button, finding nothing but smooth, taut, skin. She shook her head, and took her hand out of her shirt, unable to keep from staring at it for a moment. The gold of her wedding band stood out against the tan of her hand, even in the dark of the hall. Her fingers were thin, and small, not mannish in any way – she knew that yet every time she thought about those words… it was a reflex. She had to check, just to make sure. Still.</p><p>Screwing her eyes shut she reached out and dropped her hand onto the doorknob, sucking in a deep breath. They'd never talked about it, not a lot anyway, not since meeting back up. It wasn't avoided, or dodged - nothing like that - but Rachel had never seen a reason to bring up McKinley and Quinn seemed just as happy leaving the past in the past.</p><p>Gripping the doorknob she twisted firmly, her jaw set, and marched determinedly into her bedroom - their bedroom. Tonight the past would have to make an appearance in the present. The topic had come up, not between them but through their children, and she knew that they needed to discuss it - as parents - so they could better help their kids. After all, Rachel wasn't the only one who'd suffered bullying, and in some ways Quinn's experiences were worse. She wanted it out, off her chest and out of her head, and maybe together they could bury some demons.</p><p>Quinn wasn't sitting on the bed waiting for her, as Rachel had been expecting – though the blankets had already been turned down and the only light in the room came from the bedside lamp and the cracked door to the bathroom. Music was spilling softly into the room, the soothing sounds of Quinn's 'relaxing' playlist familiar and welcome. Rachel smiled to herself, anxiety easing as the whispered vocals caressed her ears.</p><p>"Quinn?" she called lightly.</p><p>"In here."</p><p>"What are you doing?" Rachel asked, crossing the room to lean into the doorway. Quinn was perched on the side of their spacious tub (the one Rachel had insisted on), swirling water around as the it filled.</p><p>"I thought maybe Mommy could use some 'bath time' too?"</p><p>Rachel tried valiantly to arch a single eyebrow but felt both move upwards; she'd never been able to pull off the 'Quinn' eyebrow. "You did?"</p><p>Quinn nodded, abandoning her whirlpool making endeavors in favor of fetching Rachel from her observation. Pale hands gently closed around slim wrists and Rachel let Quinn pull her in for a warm hug. "I know," she said simply.</p><p>Rachel gently head-butted Quinn's shoulder. "You always do."</p><p>"Come here," Quinn said, guiding Rachel over to sit on the toilet lid. She dropped to her knees at Rachel's feet and looked up, already working to pull off Rachel's socks.</p><p>It was that same expression, the very same one that Caleb had looked at her with and Rachel could barely believe how like his mother he was. There were differences, hints of things that weren't Quinn, but he had her eyes and that was the only thing Rachel had prayed for him to inherit. They really were like windows into Quinn's soul; Rachel could see everything Quinn wasn't saying in their depths. Looking into them now, reading the adoration pouring out, she saw the same thing she had countless times all those years ago. The fiery burn was gone now, but it had been replaced by something similar. Not fear any longer, but a passion that made Rachel's eyes burn in response.</p><p>She couldn't seem to stop crying.</p><p>"You know," Rachel started, but had to pause to clear her throat and try again. "You know you're the only one who tried to push me. I think you were the only one who wanted me to achieve my dreams."</p><p>Quinn blinked and threw two balled up plaid socks out into their bedroom. "We all did... we all believed in you, and expressed that in our own ways. Even if it was jealously sometimes. I mean, even Santana knew you were going to get here, Rachel, and Mercedes resented the hell out of you for it."</p><p>"At least you sort of had a reason," Rachel said, closing her eyes as Quinn's fingers began to massage the arches of her feet.</p><p>"There is never an excuse for treating someone like that. The things I said to you weren't right and the things that happened to you shouldn't have. I pushed you, yeah, but I didn't do it the right way - I didn't know how to and you scared the shit out of me."</p><p>"I've come to think of it as 'tough' love."</p><p>"You are too forgiving," Quinn sighed and rolled up Rachel's pants to expose long, lean calves; digging her fingers into the muscles, she worked to unravel the knots she found there.</p><p>Rachel's eyes flashed back open as one particularly large knot seemed to melt away under the firm pressure of her wife's hands. Reaching down she gently cupped Quinn's neck, smiling crookedly when Quinn looked back up at her. "If I wasn't forgiving we wouldn't be here. It's part of what makes me me."</p><p>Nodding, Quinn released Rachel's legs and twisted to turn off the water. "I know that, it's one of the best parts of you. I just wish I felt like I deserved it."</p><p>"Someday I hope you stop feeling guilty and understand that I love you," Rachel said, almost pleadingly.</p><p>"I know you love me," Quinn remarked softly and crossed her arms on Rachel's knees, tipping her head back to search her wife's face. "I know that."</p><p>It was always there, lurking under the surface. Rachel saw it sometimes in the way Quinn would look at her, or feel it in the way she so carefully touched her. A guilt that they never could quite escape. She'd learned to ignore it, sort of, or think of it in a different way... but she knew what it was. "You're still trying to earn it..."</p><p>"A part of me will always be overwhelmed that you chose to love me like you do." Quinn said, then shook her head. "The fact that you accepted that I love you. I never thought it would work this way. Not even in my wildest of daydreams."</p><p>"Wild huh?" Rachel tried again to lift one eyebrow and bit into her lip when her efforts earned her a giggle from Quinn. "It's pretty simple, really. I always forgave Finn, loved him, and he never apologized. His behavior was much worse than yours, you know. The thing is, you did apologize - you have and you still do. I was too stubborn to see you right in front of me then. Or too blind, if you prefer."</p><p>Quinn shrugged and set her chin down on her arms, her body warm where it now pressed into Rachel's shins. "We were young, dramatic, crazy kids."</p><p>Rachel couldn't resist the temptation, her hands moving into silky blonde hair and sifting through it to rub at Quinn's scalp in a way she knew her wife found soothing. "First wild, now dramatic," she baited lightly, scratching her nails gently at the nape of Quinn's neck.</p><p>"Rachel, I know it's hard - today was hard," Quinn said, ignoring the temptation to liven the conversation. "This isn't Lima, or McKinley; Eliza and Olivia - they aren't you or me."</p><p>"I know, I just don't want that crap for them. It'll be better here, yes, but it hurts, Quinn." Rachel knocked her head back against the wall, attempting to jarr the memories free. "They didn't get slushied or egged but what happened to them was almost as bad. Eliza had something special taken from her." A thought hit her, perhaps shaken from the rhythmic thumping of her head against the wall. "What was your first kiss like?"</p><p>Quinn sighed so heavily Rachel felt it, "It was Finn and not very romantic. It was awkward and sort of awful; neither of us knew what we were doing. He said he wanted to kiss me, I agreed and he pulled the car over. We sat there for a very strange, quiet minute and then I decided to go for it - unbuckled my seatbelt and practically tackled him. I bit him and I'm pretty sure he was trying to eat my mouth."</p><p>"Thank you for teaching him to be better," Rachel said, screwing her eyes shut and scrunching up her nose. "Is it weird that he was my first kiss as well?"</p><p>"Considering how small Lima is?" Quinn snorted. "No."</p><p>"I wanted them to have a better first kiss than I did," Rachel admitted, fidgeting with the ends of Quinn's hair. "Liv got into her first fight today."</p><p>"And maybe her last," Quinn said. "We can't know what their futures are going to be like, but they aren't us and I don't see them reliving our experiences. I think - I think they're going to be fine. They have us and we both have plenty of experience being bullied... and being bullies." Quinn paused, and Rachel saw that same expression briefly flit across her features - shame. "It's hard to hear about, but who better to help them if it comes up again? So yeah, I believe they're going to be alright and so are we. Right?" Quinn uncurled her arms, soft palms sliding up Rachel's thighs to rest at her hips. "Right, Rachel?"</p><p>Rachel nodded slowly. "Of course we are, Quinn, but do you think we could – can we please talk about this some more? I know it's not… fun, for either of us, but I need to - we need to"</p><p>"We can talk about anything you want," Quinn said easily enough, but Rachel could feel the tension in Quinn's frame.</p><p>"You and I have dealt with bullying, I won't say it was the same, but we did. Obviously I can't compare my experiences to – to your father." Rachel licked at her now bruised lip and tried to find some place to look that wasn't the intensely pained face of her wife. "I've done my share of, well, I've been on the other side as well."</p><p>"Rachel, you're a bully when you feel threatened, and it was the same with me. I felt threatened, God, I felt fucking cornered every day... by you. I reacted the only way I knew how."</p><p>"The names, the taunting, was it to de-feminize me?" Rachel asked quietly, trying to be gentle. She looked down at her hands again, slender tan fingers tangled up in strands of honey-blonde hair.</p><p>"Partly, maybe subconsciously. Mostly I was just so angry that you were always around. You were everywhere and I didn't understand what I was feeling. It ate at me and I was a panicked teenager with a load of baggage and no way to deal with it. I'm still," Quinn hesitated, clearing her throat, "you know I'm still surprised sometimes that I didn't try to do something more drastic."</p><p>Rachel's heart leapt into her throat, as though it was trying to escape the suddenly tight confines of her chest. She tried to speak and all that came out was a strangled half-sound. Tears burned fiercely against the back of her eyes, and when she closed them they ran free down her heated face. She tried again, working her jaw a couple of times to try and get her mouth to cooperate. "You – Quinn, you thought about…"</p><p>"A couple of times," Quinn said and adjusted again with a small grimace, laying her cheek down against Rachel's thigh. "I never would have though. At the time I told myself it was because I didn't want to give you the satisfaction, but the truth is I didn't want to not see you. Ultimately I compounded the problem, but you're kind of hard to ignore. The names, I mean I stopped them after – after Beth, but they were more about getting you to leave me alone. I tried to make you hate me so maybe then you would stop being around me. Out of sight, out of mind, right? After her, I didn't have the strength left to fight it off, I was too busy trying not to fall apart. I recognize now that it was postpartum depression but then it felt like I was losing my mind. I wanted you around because it made me feel something other than the hole in my heart."</p><p>"Quinn," Rachel barely breathed, terror still squeezing her heart. She'd almost lost Quinn in that bar and it nearly destroyed her. Thinking that it could have happened before they'd had the chance to be what they were now... "Baby."</p><p>"I gave up, and then resigned myself to wondering what was wrong with me while I watched you romance Finn and drowned in jealousy that had nothing to do with your talent or the idiot quarterback."</p><p>"I think a part of me knew," Rachel said, recalling the longing look on Quinn's face all those years ago.</p><p>Quinn shrugged, "I know it's probably not the explanation – or conversation you were expecting to have."</p><p>"What would you think about maybe - and I know you hate it - but do you think we could try some therapy? I just want... I don't want to dig through all of this tonight, but it's a lot Quinn and it might help to have an outside source help us." Rachel watched Quinn closely, anticipating an angry response of some sort, but Quinn mostly just looked so sad.</p><p>"I studied psychology to try and figure it out for myself," Quinn said. "But if you really want to… I'll go. I can't promise I'll be friendly and we have to keep it out of work. I-I really need this to stay out of work."</p><p>"Of course," Rachel agreed, relieved that she'd even accepted the suggestion.</p><p>"Do you regret being with me? Being married and stuck with moody Quinn Fabray?"</p><p>That caught Rachel's attention; she whipped her head back down and stared hard at Quinn. "Never. Even at your worst, baby, not for a second. Do you regret being with me?"</p><p>"Never. Not even when you're being a complete diva," Quinn squeezed Rachel's hips and smiled crookedly. "Smile for me?"</p><p>Curling her lips up, Rachel exposed all of her teeth in more of a grimace than a smile, making Quinn laugh at the expression.</p><p>"Beautiful, as always," Quinn teased and sat back up on her knees to place a light kiss to the tip of Rachel's nose. "Come on, your water's going to get cold."</p><p>A real smile curled Rachel's lips as she lifted her hands above her head. Quinn gripped the hem on Rachel's shirt and peeled it off, both standing with the motion, and let it fall to the floor in favor of tracing her fingers over her wife's stomach.</p><p>"That tickles," Rachel commented, muscles twitching away from the touch. An idea hit her and she bit into her raw bottom lip, tentatively reaching for Quinn's shirt.</p><p>Quinn stretched her hands up, just as Rachel had, bending a little as Rachel rose up on her toes to pull the fabric off over her head. "This isn't what I had planned," she remarked, one eyebrow quirking.</p><p>"Are you complaining?" Rachel asked, smirking as she repaid the favor of tickling along Quinn's ribs.</p><p>"Me, complain? Please."</p><p>The song changed and Rachel looped her arms around Quinn's bare torso, hugging her tightly and beaming when Quinn started cooing the lyrics into her ear.</p><p>"Isn't this song from the Twilight soundtrack?" She just couldn't help but tease the blonde.</p><p>"You're ruining the moment," Quinn whispered, before continuing where she'd left off. "Every day it will rain, rain, rain."</p><p>Rachel jumped in, crooning the 'ooh's' and pulling back to reach for the button on Quinn's jeans. Her hands were pushed away and she pouted briefly before Quinn swiftly undid her own pants and tugged the zipper down. Deciding to attempt assisting again, Rachel stuck her hands into the waistband and shimmied the soft denim down to her ankles. "I do love our musical moments," she said.</p><p>"I couldn't tell," Quinn said wryly, deftly working out of her own jeans. "And yet you're still ruining it - let me sing to you."</p><p>"This is a break up song," Rachel argued, but leaned up to kiss Quinn anyway.</p><p>"No it's not," Quinn shook her head. "It's an anti-break up song. 'If I lose you baby.'"</p><p>"My hopeless romantic," Rachel said, grasping at Quinn's neck to pull her into another kiss. "The water is probably cold now."</p><p>"Well I tried to tell you," Quinn mumbled, pressing Rachel back against the sink.</p><p>"Hmm, I suppose you could drain it and refill it." The counter was cold against her back, but Quinn was so warm, so real and alive, crowding against her front. It helped battle back the chill of thinking about life without Quinn. "I vote you continue to serenade me while it refills and I continue to interrupt by attempting to make out with you."</p><p>"You have the best plans, Superstar."</p><p>"Simple and easy to remember. I learned from you," Rachel giggled and playfully shoved Quinn away. "Pull up that stopper and hurry back to me."</p><p>"Yes, ma'am," Quinn grinned cheekily, but just as quickly sobered. "The twins are going to be fine, Rachel, do you know why?"</p><p>"Because we're their parents?" Rachel guessed, cocking her head to the side - she'd thought the conversation was over.</p><p>"That's part of it, but there's something bigger," Quinn said. "They're smart, beautiful, talented, and ridiculously tenacious. When they love something they love it with all of their giant hearts and they'll never give up on anyone or anything." She reached out and tucked Rachel's hair back behind her ears, fingers trailing down Rachel's neck and then back up to cup her face. "They get that from you. With you as their mother, Superstar, they're going to be better than fine - they're going to be amazing."</p><p>"Damn it, Quinn," Rachel choked, and tried to laugh as her eyes flooded anew. "I just stopped crying."</p><p>"I mean it," Quinn said, her expression full of conviction and a ferocious devotion that nearly bowled Rachel over. "You are their mother - everything that makes you exceptional, I see it in them. Every time they look at me I see you reflected there, and I know that someday they're going to be everything they've ever wanted to be, bullies and whatever else life throws at them be damned. They're not you, but they're part of you, and that's how I know, without any doubt whatsoever, that they're going to be alright."</p><p>Rachel bowed her head and couldn't help the small sob that escaped her. "You always know what to say."</p><p>"No, I don't."</p><p>Thumbs ran under Rachel's eyes brushing away the lingering moisture, and Rachel took a deep breath before looking back up. Quinn was smiling at her again, this time so dopely that it made Rachel feel light as a feather.</p><p>"I don't always know what to say. Sometimes I get it so wrong, but I trust that you can understand me. Nobody else does. Nobody else speaks 'Quinn' like you do."</p><p>"Stop making me cry, you jerk," Rachel said, giggling soggily and slapping half heartedly at Quinn's chest.</p><p>"I just want you to believe that it's going to be fine," Quinn said, bending forward to kiss Rachel's forehead. "Because it is."</p><p>"I believe you," Rachel said, and actually really did. "Thank you."</p><p>"No, sweetheart," Quinn shook her head and turned back to the tub. "Thank you."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. The Deep End pt. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For it being a Monday her day was shaping up to be pretty decent. She’d gotten to spend a full, uninterrupted weekend with Rachel, as uninterrupted as it could be with Rachel’s shows, and it had been perfect. Ever since their engagement Quinn had been floating on cloud nine and having been able to see Rachel perform and spend time with her... there were no words to describe her happiness. </p><p>Not even the messy case she was currently working on could diminish her joy.</p><p>Quinn looked down at her left hand against the steering wheel and smiled at the glint of the diamond on her ring finger. She hadn’t really expected that Rachel would be the one to ‘pop the question’ - in fact she’d been putting back money to buy Rachel an engagement ring when Rachel beat her to the punch.</p><p>Her big romantic plans for proposing had fallen away and she was okay with that. The proposal had been simple, emotional, and so much better than anything she could have cooked up. </p><p>Shaking her head she started to reach for her bluetooth, intent on disturbing Rachel’s shopping spree and seeing if they could meet for lunch later. Instead she jerked in surprise as her phone went off right as she touched the call button.</p><p>“Shit,” she muttered, then sighed. Her luck wasn’t good enough for her to expect to hear Rachel’s voice when she accepted the call. “Fabray.”</p><p>“Quinn.”</p><p>Quinn stiffened at the nervousness in Ryan’s tone. No nickname, no witty greeting. Dread settled in her stomach. “What?”</p><p>“Quinn, it’s Rachel.”</p><p>She almost drove the car over the median. It had happened, her worst nightmare. He didn’t need to say any more than that. Her heart was already in her throat and her mind was spinning with possibilities. “Details. Now.” Even as she barked at him she was whipping the car around, ignoring the salvos of car horns as she flipped on her sirens and lights. </p><p>“We don’t know much, but they want a trade. Ernst for Rachel.”</p><p>Her knuckles tightened to white on the steering wheel and she grit her teeth. They couldn’t give up Ernst, he was necessary to their case. She was more than certain they’d only execute him anyway. Mobsters were not fans of having their secrets spilled to Feds. “If they hurt her...”</p><p>“I spoke to her, Quinn. She’s scared but she’s okay. We’re going to get her back.”</p><p>“Everything we have, everything we know, I want it on my desk. And somebody get Ernst from protective custody - throw him in interrogation and boil his nuts if you have to. Does Millward know?”</p><p>“Yeah, we’re all working as fast as we can.”</p><p>“I’ll be there in five.”</p><p>“Roger, boss.”</p><p>Quinn disconnected the call, clenched her jaw and ripped the bluetooth off the visor. She threw it into the floorboard on the passenger side and slapped her hand against the steering wheel, over and over until her palm was tingling. At that point she realized she was crying, not a lot, just a couple stray tears that had made it through her defenses. She swiped at them furiously; crying wasn't going to help Rachel.</p><p>“I’m coming, Rachel.” She promised under her breath. “And I’ll kill them if they hurt you.”</p><p>Storming into the office minutes later, she ignored the stares of her co-workers and headed directly for her office. Ryan and Millward were already inside waiting for her.</p><p>“Please, please tell me you have something,” she said without preamble, snatching the outstretched coffee cup away from Ryan. </p><p>Millward was sitting behind her desk, and she felt a strong urge to dump the coffee all over him. He looked so damn calm, his fingers steepled together under his chin, clear blue eyes drilling holes into her. “Agent Peterson, give us a moment. Go light a fire under Ernst.”</p><p>Quinn slammed the cup down on the desk, a little harder than she normally would, and scrubbed her hands over her face.</p><p>“Sit down, Fabray.”</p><p>She did as told and clenched her hands together between her knees to steady the shaking. “You have questions.”</p><p>“Some, but you don’t get to be a Director for no reason. I’ve never dug into your personal life, Quinn, but it appears that it has now become my business.”</p><p>Sucking in a deep breath, Quinn fiddled with her ring and met his gaze. “Ask.”</p><p>“Perhaps I should just tell you what I know,” Millward stood from her chair and came around to perch on the front of her desk. Stretching behind him he pulled a framed photo off the corner of her desk. “You’re gay.”</p><p>She nodded, accepting the picture from him. It was older one but one of her favorites, she and Rachel giggling on the couch with glasses of wine in their hands. They’d been celebrating Rachel’s Drama Desk Award.</p><p>“I don’t care about that, you know. It doesn’t have any bearing on the fact that you’re one of my best agents.”</p><p>Again, Quinn nodded, a little shocked that this conversation was happening, that the whole situation was happening. “Thank you.”</p><p>“I suspected you and Rachel Berry were more than old high school buddies when she came in here demanding I rescue you. Which I seem to be doing a lot.” He reached out and clasped the hand in her lap in his rough palm. “And I see from the rock on your finger that I was right.”</p><p>“We just got engaged,” Quinn admitted and bravely met her boss’s eyes.</p><p>“Quinn, you’re a member of my team and I always take care of my people. That includes their family. Rachel Berry is your family and I’m telling you now, I will do everything within my power to help get her back, safely.”</p><p>Those fucking tears that had been threatening to spill over were blurring and burning her eyes and she ground her teeth together to keep them at bay, unwilling to cry in front of her boss - or at all. There would be time for tears later. When she had Rachel back.</p><p>Millward sighed and squeezed her fingers. “You understand that I have to limit your involvement? You’re personally attached to this, and as much as I understand wanting to break some heads open, I can’t let you jeopardize this office or your career. Let Agent Peterson take the lead and trust your team to find your fianceé.”</p><p>“I can help,” Quinn argued vehemently. “You have to let me help.”</p><p>“Just keep yourself in check, Agent. Don’t make me do it for you.”</p><p>He let her go and left the office without another word, leaving Quinn to valiantly try and collect herself. She touched her fingers to the smiling image of Rachel and carefully put the picture back.</p><p>“Quinn?”</p><p>“Ryan?”</p><p>“Ernst is here,” Ryan stepped cautiously into the office. “I’m about to go in and question him, see if he knows where they might have her.” </p><p>Snatching up her coffee she whirled around so fast he took a step back. “Let’s go then.”</p><p>“You’re going to observe?”</p><p>“No, I’m going to wear an earwig and so are you. I think I’ll strangle him otherwise, but I’ll be damned if I’m just going to sit and watch.” Quinn strode past him, shoving her coffee into Schulte’s hands as she passed him. Her stomach hurt far too much to consider drinking it.</p><p>“Quinn,” Ryan hissed as he chased her. “Quinn.”</p><p>“What?” she snarled, dragging her fingers through her hair and quickly putting it up in a messy ponytail. </p><p>Ryan grabbed her elbow and halted her, almost ducking away when her red-rimmed eyes caught his. “Hey, I’m on your side - take it easy.”</p><p>“Rachel is out there, Ryan, God knows where, and she’s scared and all alone with those monsters. I am not going to take it easy.”</p><p>“Quinn, she’s going to be fine. You know the best people are working on it right now.” Ryan sighed and followed after her again as she took off faster than before.</p><p>“You don’t know that. Nobody knows that.” She threw open the door to observation and pointed through the two-way mirror. “He is going to know where they are.”</p><p>Readying himself for her anger Ryan moved into the observation room and slammed the door shut behind him. “I’m not going in there until we talk about this.”</p><p>“Every second I waste talking to you is a second Rachel might not have,” Quinn snarled.</p><p>“God, Quinn, they asked for a trade. You know that if they were going to kill her they would have done it when they picked her up.” He slapped his hand against the door. </p><p>Quinn jerked back at the sound of his palm impacting the door and Ryan hated himself for it. He’d gotten her attention, definitely, but the agony radiating from her eyes knocked his breath away. “I want her back, Ryan. I want her safe and warm and alive in my arms. I need her.”</p><p>“Ryan,” he heard in his head, Rachel’s voice trembling over the word. “They want - they want Ernst back. Him for me. I - please tell Quinn...” He pinched at the bridge of his nose and tried to shake her whimper from his head. “We’ve done this before, so many times. You’re panicking and not thinking clearly. They’ll call back and tell us where to meet them, and we’ll take Ernst with some Charlie’s Angel’s plan to get the bad guys, save Rachel, and not give them their stooge. Going in there and scaring the shit out of Ernst isn’t going to do us any good, Q.”</p><p>“If he knows where they’re holding her, which he could if they’ve done this before - and I think they have - then we won’t have to do anything like what you’re suggesting. Which is safer for Rachel. I don’t want to wait any longer than I have to.”</p><p>Ryan swallowed and felt all the fight leave him as he picked up the earwig off the nearby desk. “I’ll be listening to your prompts.”</p><p>“Thank you,” she said and pointedly turned away from him to stare through the mirror.</p><p>---</p><p>In some ways Benito thought he was pretty lucky. He wasn’t the smartest guy in the world (though his Mama always told him otherwise), but he had gotten lucky and gotten in with the right crowd and now his life was better. His Mama had wanted him to go to school, be a doctor or something special like that, but when that door closed on him another had opened. Now he was working for the Lucianos, and yeah sometimes it wasn’t all that great – he wasn’t smart but he knew what ‘illegal’ meant. Thankfully they normally used him as a driver or a heavy lifter - basic grunt work - and Beni never complained about that. He didn’t think it meant he was a bad guy, and the Lucianos told him he was family; they helped him take care of his Mama and at the end of the day that’s all that really mattered.</p><p>But when he’d picked Leo up that morning for a ‘special’ assignment he no longer felt so lucky.</p><p>Sitting in front of him, tied to a chair with duct tape over her mouth, was Rachel Berry. His gut twisted every time her eyes caught his. Those big brown teary eyes, they ate at him. She looked like a scared baby rabbit or something and he didn’t like it. Not at all. He was fairly certain if his Mama found out she’d hit him over the head and call him all sorts of awful names. She thought he was a limo driver, and he was for the most part, except for special times. Like today.</p><p>“Hey, Leo,” he called out and cast his gaze at the ceiling to avoid Rachel’s. “When are you going to call them again?”</p><p>“When I decide they’ve had enough time to wet themselves.”</p><p>Beni sighed and absentmindedly scratched the back of his head. “How are they even going to know that we really have her?”</p><p>He regretted those words the second they crossed his lips.</p><p>Leo stopped his pacing and dropped his tie, which he’d been fiddling obsessively with since they’d gotten into the warehouse. Beni tried not to cower when Leo stalked over to him, unfortunately in doing so his eyes had fallen back on the tiny woman they were holding captive. Those damn eyes, it was like they were pleading with him.</p><p>“We let that Agent talk to her before but you know what, Beni, that’s pretty smart. We should send them a gift... let ‘em know we’re serious.” Leo’s dark features twisted in a smug smirk. “Cut off a finger. I’ll get a courier over here to deliver it.”</p><p>“Me?”</p><p>“Yeah, you. Got a knife?”</p><p>Beni swallowed hard and unclipped his knife from his belt. “Sure, Leo.”</p><p>“Great, remember to cut at the joint. I’ll go get an envelope.”</p><p>Lurching to his feet, Beni tried to ignore the whimpers coming from the bound woman and shifted his knife from one hand to the other. “Maybe we could just send her earrings or something?”</p><p>“Don’t go getting soft on me now, bambino. Cut off one of her fucking fingers. Maybe if her dyke girlfriend gets the Feds to hurry up they can reattach it to her corpse.”</p><p>Rachel was crying again; he could see her rocking and struggling in the chair out of the corner of his eye. “I thought we weren’t going to hurt her?”</p><p>“Whatever, it was your idea. I’m getting an envelope and I want that finger when I get back, so nut up and hurry up.” Leo smacked the back of Beni’s head and walked off towards the dark office on the far side of the building. Beni watched him go and sighed heavily, the knife in his hand feeling like it weighed a hundred pounds. He slumped and shuffled over towards Rachel, watching as she immediately angled her body as far away from him as possible.</p><p>He started to reach for her knee, but she recoiled so hard he was afraid she’d tip the chair over and bring Leo back. Leo had already killed the other girl in front of him and Beni just knew he would do the same to Rachel and maybe kill him too. But severing a finger from a helpless woman?  He hadn’t signed up for that,  and everything inside of him was shouting for him to not do it. His mind was showing him other options - taking Rachel and running - but they all ended the same way: Leo hunting them down to kill them both. To keep them alive - to make Leo happy - he would have to become something he never wanted to be. He tried to prepare himself beforehand, but when he looked up at her tear streaked face his breath left him. She whimpered and her cheeks puffed out against the tape, eyes glued to the knife.</p><p>There was no other choice.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Againistan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Rachel came home and found the kids gone and her favorite meal set out, with candles and wine and flowers, she knew something was up. Not that Quinn didn’t surprise her with romantic things like that, but there was something different about it this time. Something felt very ‘odd’ about the whole thing and it made Rachel wonder what trophy of hers Quinn had broken or what she’d allowed the kids to do that she was making up for. Then she noticed that Quinn’s smile wasn’t as full as normal, and the way she was fidgeting. Something was definitely going on.</p><p>She was right. Halfway through dinner Quinn quietly announced that she would be gone for four months. Not just out of state, not merely across the country, but out of the country.</p><p>To Afghanistan.</p><p>For one hundred and twenty days. </p><p>It was as if the world completely stopped. Quinn wasn’t a soldier, so Rachel was understandably confused. Even when her wife explained why she was going overseas, she still had a hard time comprehending what was happening. </p><p>Quinn left five days later and with her departure Rachel fell into some sort of other-reality. One where she was a single parent as well as a famous award winning singer and actress. The stress started to build the moment she gave Quinn a farewell kiss and the kids waved goodbye. Half her heart was gone to the other side of the world and the sudden emptiness threw her for a loop. She hadn’t felt this disconnected since that awful night all those years before when Quinn had been shot.</p><p>Rachel leaned heavily on her friends and family to keep from completely losing her mind. They helped with the kids and came over all the time; her father’s even flew up to visit for a whole week. She had no idea how military families could handle an entire year without loved ones. It was so heartbreaking and terrifying. No matter how much she loved her friends and her family for keeping close and holding her up, they couldn’t compare. She wanted Quinn back. Having support was excellent and it did help, but she wanted to go home after her show and find Quinn asleep on the couch waiting for her, not Anna reading a book in the recliner. There were no arms to fall into after a long day, no text messages reminding her to eat, no gardenias waiting in her dressing room for her. The longer Quinn was away the more Rachel felt her absence, it wasn’t like she eventually adjusted to not having Quinn there. Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but it also left a noticeable hole in her life.</p><p>Caleb kept telling everyone that his Mama was in ‘Again-istan’, and showed off the picture Quinn had sent him of her next to a humvee. She was wearing a flak vest and aviators, and she looked like a soldier to him. He didn’t understand that his Mama wasn’t fighting or winning a war. To him Quinn was basically a GI Joe now and he couldn’t have been prouder - except maybe if she had been a Jedi. Quinn had told him the day she left that it was now his job to look after his sisters and take care of Rachel. He took that duty very seriously, and Rachel loved him even more for it. Watching him adopt Quinn’s mannerisms was just adorable. He was still a little boy missing his mother though, and after the first month Rachel wasn’t surprised to find him crawling into bed with her every night. She was actually grateful for it. He helped to fill the massive void in her heart with his tangled, simple sentences, the expert quirk in his eyebrow, and the way he slept next to her, sprawled out like a starfish. </p><p>Even with the sporadic Skyping, calls, and letters, Rachel still felt incomplete. Every morning she woke up and it wasn’t Quinn’s blonde hair on the pillow next to her. She wasn’t there groggily slapping at her alarm and making Rachel laugh with sloppy kisses and tickle fights. Quinn’s laughter and smile were gone. The kids were now asking constantly when Mama was coming home. Saying Rachel didn’t read the stories like Mama did. Dinner tasted better when Mama made it. Mama let them do this and that.</p><p>It was frustrating, and it hurt because Rachel missed Quinn, too. Desperately. </p><p>Things really came to a head the night before Eliza’s piano recital; Liv was angry and upset because Rachel was braiding her hair ‘wrong’. She started crying and yelling that she wanted Quinn until Rachel couldn’t take it anymore, snapping that Quinn wasn’t there. </p><p>Immediately the room went quiet, and Rachel couldn’t even look at Liv because it hurt that much. Then Liv, eyes glued to the ground, let out a tremulous ‘I hate you’ and fled the room. </p><p>As soon as the door closed Rachel collapsed down onto her side, clutching Quinn’s pillow and sobbing. It was like a never ending stream, pouring from her so hard the bed was shaking with the force of it. She cried and cried until her throat was hoarse and her chest ached. The pillow under her head was soaked, her hair was soaked, and her jaw ached from biting down on her finger to try and muffle the sounds she was helplessly making.</p><p>She jerked in surprise when something soft patted her face, and struggled to open her eyes back up. It was Caleb, looking down at her with a frown that reminded her too much of Quinn in that moment. He climbed up onto the bed with her without a second of hesitation, and forced her to scoot backwards, curling up against her chest. </p><p>“She’s sorry, Mommy,” he said in his cute, childish voice. His vocabulary was growing fast but he still couldn’t say his ‘R’s’ correctly, and some words came out garbled. Rachel was so thankful for him and his funny words, but she couldn’t talk around the hiccups that continued to rack her. All she could do was hold onto him. “Love you,” he whispered, and she laughed brokenly at the ‘lub’. </p><p>“Love you so much,” she got out, gasping in a deep breath. “So much, Caleb.”</p><p>“I love you mucher,” he said earnestly and smacked a kiss to her wet cheek. “No more crying, kay? I promised Mama.” He looked up at her with big hazel-green eyes set in his pale little face, blond hair falling over his forehead. His eyebrow started to lift and his mouth started to twitch up into Quinn’s lopsided smile, and she couldn’t do anything more than hold on to him and nod through her tears that she would stop crying.</p><p>She was almost asleep, Caleb clutched in her arms like a teddy bear, when Liv and Eliza came back into the room. Liv with puffy eyes and a trembling lip and Eliza unwilling to make eye contact. </p><p>“I’m sorry, Mommy,” Liv said, already crying. “I didn’t mean it. I just really miss Mama.”</p><p>“I know, baby, I miss her too,” Rachel said, voice rough. “Come here, both of you.”</p><p>They rushed forward, clambering up the tall bed to join Caleb. He refused to move from his place in front of Rachel, so they wasted no time climbing over him to battle for Quinn’s pillow. Liv ended up snuggled into Rachel’s side, content to use her shoulder for a pillow while Eliza got the actual pillow. Rachel had to twist her neck at an almost unnatural angle to see Eliza over Liv’s head, but what she saw nearly started the flood all over again - quiet, shy Eliza wrapped around Quinn’s pillow with a thoughtful look on her face. She caught Rachel’s gaze and ducked her head into the soft cotton.</p><p>“I wish Mama were here,” she said into the white lump. </p><p>“Me too,” Rachel whispered, untangling her hand from under Liv to stretch for Eliza.</p><p>Rachel had three small bodies wrapped around her all through the night, and she woke to bony elbows in her ribs, feet against her back, and the feeling that she was far too hot, but she almost started crying again she was so happy. They were so big now - growing up so fast - and she could still remember bringing them home for the first time. Caleb used to be able to sleep on her chest without squashing her and now he was practically smothering her, but she laid there content for the moment, listening to their heavy breathing and feeling the occasional twitch. It almost reminded her of before the twins were born, feeling those first kicks and jabs. Then there were first steps, first words, and the drama of the first loose tooth. Now here they were, crowded against her, taking care of her, and Rachel was completely overwhelmed. On instinct she turned towards Quinn’s side of the bed to mention it to her wife only to be faced with reality once again. She had to smile though, even if she didn’t feel like it, because instead of Quinn she saw Eliza with her face pressed so deep into the pillow she wondered how her baby could possibly be breathing. Eliza who still had her hand in Rachel’s, weakly holding her grip of Rachel’s ring finger in her sleep.</p><p>“Look what we did, Quinn,” Rachel murmured, watching all three children sleep on without a care in the world. “They’re perfect.”</p><p>She woke them all up eventually and patiently listened to their grumbles until breakfast had been had and everyone cheered up. Liv apologized again, and Rachel talked to her for a long time about how it felt to hear ‘I hate you’ and how she felt about missing Quinn. It went better than she’d been expecting. Rachel loved her - loved all of them so fiercely - and even knowing that Liv didn’t mean it, it still hurt her badly. Liv’s eyes had grown so wide as Rachel talked to her about how she’d loved both girls the moment she knew they were inside her, and then she’d hugged Rachel so tightly it was almost painful.</p><p>“I just - I miss Mama and I’m mad that they made her go,” Liv said, still holding strongly to Rachel’s neck.</p><p>“This is part of her job, Livvy,” Rachel explained, smoothing her palm across Liv’s shoulders. “I don’t like it either, but she’s doing it to keep us all safe, okay? As much as I miss her I’m very proud of the work she’s doing.”</p><p>“I’m proud of her, too,” Liv said. She pulled away and turned her chin up to look Rachel in the eye. “But I don’t want her to get hurt. Natalie’s daddy lost his leg when he was over there and I’m scared it could happen to Mama.”</p><p>“This is very different,” Rachel said, swallowing back her own anxiety over the thought. It had kept her up enough nights, but she didn’t need to further alarm Liv. She’d been having nightmares off and on about Quinn dying for years, but now she didn’t have Quinn there when she woke up to soothe those fears. Liv didn’t need to have those same nightmares. “She’s not in a war. She’s just doing some work with the embassy and she’s perfectly safe.”</p><p>“Promise?” Liv asked, dark eyes daring Rachel to deny her. All three kids had learned early on that getting her and Quinn to promise was the best way to secure the truth; neither of them would break a promise if they could help it.</p><p>“Baby,” Rachel said slowly, licking at her lips as she tried to find the right words. She took Liv’s hands gently in her own and tried to read Liv’s solemn face. “I can’t promise that - I want to - but nothing is certain. What I can say is that in my heart I know she’s going to be fine. She’s in a very secure location and there are soldiers and guards there to keep her safe so she can come back home to us. I know it’s hard but we have to have some faith.”</p><p>Liv stared at her, so deeply it was almost off putting, but Rachel held her gaze and tried to put all of her trust in Quinn’s well being into her expression. </p><p>“Okay,” Liv finally said. “Can I watch a movie?”</p><p>Rachel sighed and nodded with a small smile. “Sure, will you take Caleb in there with you?”</p><p>“Do I have to?” Liv groaned, stalking off when Rachel merely raised her eyebrows in response. “Fine. Caleb!”</p><p>They still had a recital to get to, and Eliza was so horribly nervous that Rachel spent the rest of the day coaching her and doing everything she could to get her ready.</p><p>“You’re going to be perfect, Lady Bug,” Rachel said confidently, sitting next to Eliza at their piano. Eliza frowned down at the keys then at her music. </p><p>Sighing, Eliza leaned into Rachel’s side. “I have butterflies though. Lots of people are going to be there and I wish Mama was here. She never missed a recital before.”</p><p>“I’m going to record it for her,” Rachel said. She ran a hand lovingly over Eliza’s shiny dark hair and bent to kiss Eliza’s temple. “I know she wished she could be here too, but she’ll be home soon and we’ll all watch it together.”</p><p>“Maybe we could play something together next time?” Eliza asked, pushing down on a couple of keys.</p><p>“I would love that!” Rachel agreed, grinning at the idea. </p><p>“Okay,” Eliza whispered and looked up at Rachel. “I should go get ready.”</p><p>“What are you going to wear?” Rachel asked, continuing to toy with Eliza’s hair. </p><p>“My yellow dress,” Eliza said, stretching dainty fingers up to touch the pendant hanging around Rachel’s neck. “The matching headband and the shoes Mama got me.”</p><p>“That’ll be pretty, Elza,” Rachel told her and then without a second’s pause reached up and undid the clasp on her necklace. “I think this will make the outfit though.”</p><p>“This is yours,” Eliza argued faintly, but allowed Rachel to pull her hair from her neck and put the necklace on her.</p><p>“Your mama gave this to me a long time ago,” Rachel explained, tapping her fingers against the star. “It means more to me than just a symbol of my faith. It’s like I have her with me all the time, even when we’re apart. I think you should wear it and have her with you on stage tonight.”</p><p>“I miss her a lot,” Eliza said, holding the star in her palm almost tenderly. She closed her fingers around it and held it to her chest. “Thank you. I promise I’ll keep it safe.”</p><p>Rachel had cried more in the last four months then ever in her life, so she wasn’t surprised to feel the prick of tears and have her vision blur as she looked at her little girl. “I know you will. I’m very proud of you - we both are. So proud.”</p><p>“I know, Mommy,” Eliza turned and hugged Rachel fiercely. “Will you help me get ready?”</p><p>“Absolutely.”</p><p>---</p><p>They all rode to the school in Rachel’s beloved mini-cooper; Eliza got the most coveted front seat and control of the stereo because it was her ‘big night’. She didn’t do much with the radio though, instead opting to leave the CD in. It was one that Quinn had made for all of them before she left. Rachel beamed at Caleb and Liv in the backseat, listening to them both sing along. </p><p>“Mommy, does Mama come home soon?” Caleb asked, stopping his singing to scrutinize Rachel’s reflection. </p><p>“Yeah, Peanut, real soon,” Rachel assured him. She’d only been marking the calendar with giant red exes, counting down the days. Liv had even asked if they could make a chain out of construction paper like they did for Christmas. Which Rachel had agreed to, of course. Caleb didn’t really have a great grasp on time, five minutes in time out felt like a lifetime to him; four months was an eternity to be separated from his mother. “Next weekend she’ll be home.”</p><p>“Can we has a party? Like the people at the airport w-with the signs?” Caleb looked at her so hopefully it made her chest ache. </p><p>He was, of course, referring to the signs of families eagerly awaiting the return of loved ones. Rachel wondered how Quinn would feel about all the attention, but all three kids were staring at her now.</p><p>“You think she would like that?” she asked, smoothly pulling into a parking space and then smiling at them. </p><p>“Yeah!” All three chimed in unison, complete with fists in the air from Caleb and then cheers from Liv and Eliza.</p><p>“A pink one,” Liv said, nodding sagely. “With big yellow letters for Ellie and blue stars for Caleb.”</p><p>“We’ll see what I can do, okay?” Rachel gathered her purse up from the floor and jumped when she heard a car horn. Twisting to look out the window she saw Ryan and Allison in their car next to them. “Look who’s here, Elza!”</p><p>“Uncle Ryan!” Liv cried, struggling to unbuckle her seatbelt. </p><p>He appeared to hear her and gallantly stepped forward to open the door for her. “M’lady,” he said, holding his arm out for her. </p><p>Rachel smothered a grin at Liv’s crush, and exited the vehicle to help a struggling Caleb out of his seat. He had insisted on wearing his suit and having his blond hair carefully done. Quinn called him a miniature James Bond when he wore it, and even though he only vaguely knew who James Bond was, he had latched on to the complement and oozed ‘secret agent’ charm whenever he put it on. </p><p>God help them when he actually was old enough to see those movies.</p><p>“Hey, little man, aren’t you a charmer,” Allison greeted, reaching out her hand for him to take.</p><p>Caleb smiled politely and accepted her hand, but then immediately reached for Rachel as well. Still so adamant about keeping his promise to Quinn. As much as he adored his Aunt Allison, he was all about his Mommy, who definitely couldn’t be trusted to walk anywhere without holding his hand. </p><p>Ryan swooped in and scrunched down to be eye to eye with a furiously blushing Eliza. “You look like a princess, Eliza.”</p><p>Eliza held tightly to the star against her chest and timidly took Ryan’s thumb with her free hand. “Thank you, Uncle Ryan.”</p><p>With the family all gathered they started up into the school, Ryan gently coaxing a few sentences out of Eliza. Liv was more than happy to chat his ear off, tugging at him to get his attention. Eliza had a nervous little smile on her face, and mostly just nodded or shook her head instead of speaking. She’d never been much of a talker, tending to withdraw when she was nervous. It worried Quinn, but Rachel assured her that it was okay. Eliza wasn’t quite as dramatic about it, but Rachel often fought to keep from doing something similar; she’d been known to stick herself in a corner when she was nervous to try and find some internal calm.</p><p>The auditorium was dimly lit, cool, and not overly full. People were still trickling in and most clumped near the front of the stage, conversing quietly and chasing younger kids. Ryan let go of Eliza’s hand and herded his wife, Caleb, and Liv into a row while Rachel took Eliza backstage. </p><p>“Okay, Lady Bug,” Rachel said, smoothing back Eliza’s hair and tugging at her earlobe with a soft smile. “You’re going to be amazing. I’m so very proud of you and all the hard work you put into this. I can’t wait for everyone to see how special you are and show your Mama the video.”</p><p>“I love you,” Eliza said, her game face firmly affixed. “I won’t let you down.”</p><p>“You never could,” Rachel said and bent to kiss the top of Eliza’s head. “Break a leg.”</p><p>Swiping at her eyes, Rachel wandered back out to the auditorium and took her seat next to Caleb who grasped her hand once again. Soon enough the lights went down even further and the lights on stage came up, shining off the gleaming black piano. Rachel felt the first flutter of nerves in her stomach, almost like she was the one about to go on stage. She wondered how Eliza was holding up and wished again for Quinn’s calm presence. </p><p>Eliza’s piano teacher came on stage first, grinning from ear to ear as she welcomed the families and friends of her students. Rachel glanced down and saw Caleb watching very intently; his eyes, so reminiscent of Quinn’s, didn’t miss a thing. He turned and glanced up at her curiously, his left eyebrow arching. “Does Eliza go first?”</p><p>“Well, let’s look at the program,” Rachel whispered back and opened the pamphlet to show him. “She’s about half way down.”</p><p>He nodded and leaned closer to her, pillowing his head on her arm as best he could with the armrest in the way. </p><p>The first student of many came out, took a deep bow and settled on the bench. Rachel had to stifle giggles at the boy’s hair. It reminded her of Sam Evans’ ‘Bieber’ stage. He kept twitching his head to throw his floppy bangs out of his face. Eventually he got to where he could see through his hair and music filled the room, the soft tinkle of piano notes warming Rachel’s very soul. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, reminding herself not to hum as she let herself get lost. </p><p>Three more students came and went from the stage and then finally it was Eliza’s turn. The whole row erupted into cheers, whistles, and applause, and a decidedly embarrassed Eliza blushed so hard it was visible even from the audience. She waved meekly at her hooting family, fixed her hair, curtsied, and took her seat.</p><p>Rachel took a deep breath right along with Eliza and willed all of her strength to her daughter. </p><p>Right before Eliza hit the first key Rachel heard the rustling of clothes, noticing that someone was standing at the end of the row. </p><p>Annoyance spiked as she turned to glare at the latecomer, more than prepared to righteously admonish the rude person, only to nearly fall out of her seat in shock.</p><p>Quinn.  She looked tired and thinner than ever, with dark circles under her eyes and rumpled clothes that looked like she’d been wearing them for days.</p><p>But it was Quinn.</p><p>Completely forgetting where she was, Rachel shrieked - shrieked, as only a Broadway star is so loudly capable of - and threw herself at her wife. Her arms and legs wound around Quinn like a child as she buried her face in Quinn’s neck, bursting into tears and laughter at the same time.</p><p>“Rachel,” Quinn said, stumbling slightly and sounding as exhausted as she looked. </p><p>Rachel put her feet back on the ground before she fully toppled Quinn over, touching Quinn’s face and running her fingers through her hair, and in full view of the curious strangers staring at them, deeply kissed her wife. </p><p>“How - I - how?” She asked when the need for air forced her to break away. </p><p>“I got to come home early,” Quinn said simply, locking her arms around Rachel’s trembling form and pulling her close. “You know I try not to ever miss one of their concerts.”</p><p>“I missed you so much,” Rachel cried, trying to burrow deeper into the warm body she’d been missing for so long. </p><p>“I missed you, too.” Quinn was shaking, bony hands running up and down Rachel’s spine. “God, I missed you all.”</p><p>“Caleb,” Rachel suddenly said, whirling around to see him standing behind her, face completely stoic. She stepped out of the way so he could see Quinn fully and watched him stay frozen.</p><p>“Peanut,” Quinn said and dropped to her knees. </p><p>That seemed to be what he was waiting for, as he launched forward and dove into Quinn, mimicking Rachel’s earlier exuberance and wrapping his arms and legs around his mother. He dropped his head to her shoulder and squeezed. Quinn started crying then, rocking him from side to side, holding tightly.</p><p>Liv came running next, slamming into Quinn’s side. Quinn loosed one arm from around Caleb and drew Liv in closer, kissing the side of her head and then Caleb’s. “I love you guys, so, so much.”</p><p>“Mama?” Eliza called loudly from the stage, completing the scene they were causing in the midst of her recital. She was standing at the end of the stage in her little yellow dress, hand wound once more in the necklace Rachel had lent her. “Mama!”</p><p>The entire crowd gasped as one Elizabeth Jane Fabray leapt off the stage and came racing up to where her family was gathered. </p><p>Quinn let go of Liv and Caleb, shakily got to her feet, and went to meet Eliza half way. </p><p>Eliza kept saying ‘Mama’ over and over as she jumped up into Quinn’s arms. “I knew you’d come!”</p><p>Everyone was gaping at them, probably in shock and confused as to what the hell was going on, and Rachel couldn’t have cared less about the gossip that would most likely follow. Not when her family was finally all back together again.</p><p>Not with Quinn finally safe and home again.</p><p>“I will always do everything I can to never disappoint you,” Quinn whispered to Eliza. “You look so pretty, baby.”</p><p>“I’m so glad you’re home,” Eliza said, clutching handfuls of shirt at Quinn’s shoulders.</p><p>“I am too,” Quinn said, already carrying Eliza back towards the stage. “Will you do me a favor?”</p><p>“Anything,” Eliza promised.</p><p>Quinn set Eliza back up on the edge of the stage, careful to steady her before letting go and stepping back. “Will you play for me? I came a really long way to hear you.”</p><p>Eliza bit into her bottom lip and nodded. “Yes, I will. For you.”</p><p>“I love you, and I’m so proud of you,” Quinn told her, and backed away from the stage with a dorky thumbs up.</p><p>Rachel grabbed for Quinn the second she was back within range and kissed her again, unable to believe it was all really happening. “I can’t believe you. How did you do this?”</p><p>“They had room on a military flight. Millward approved me to come back early and it all just came together. As soon as we landed I took a cab here. My bags are in the back of the room,” Quinn explained, smiling lopsidedly as she pointed behind her. </p><p>It took all the restraint Rachel had left to not crawl into Quinn’s lap when they sat down. Caleb didn’t have any such hesitation, planting himself in Quinn’s lap and leaned heavily into her as Eliza took her place once again. They had to do some quick shuffling as Liv hotly protested not getting to sit next to Quinn, finally settling so Liv was hugging one of Quinn’s arms and Rachel had hold of the other while Caleb sat sideways on her lap.</p><p>Ryan and Allison leaned over, both grinning from ear to ear. “Welcome back, Qball,” Ryan said, ruffling Quinn’s hair. “The office hasn’t been the same without you.”</p><p>“You better have left my office alone,” Quinn warned playfully.</p><p>“I’m going to miss the view,” he said with a wink.</p><p>“You have been sorely missed,” Allison added, clamping a hand over Ryan’s mouth before he could antagonize Quinn further. “I can’t wait to hear all about your trip... or what you can tell us.”</p><p>“It wasn’t that exciting,” Quinn said. “It was hotter than you would believe, and uh... sandy. But I have pictures and a few stories I can share later.”</p><p>“Maybe this weekend you guys could come over for dinner?” Allison offered.</p><p>Rachel pulled Quinn’s arm tighter against her and peered up at her wife, seeing what their friends must also have noticed: the dark shadows under Quinn’s eyes and the sharpness of her cheekbones stood out in the low light. Ryan shot Rachel a knowing look, which she interpreted as deserved concern. She nodded, careful to keep the movement small so Quinn wouldn’t notice, letting him know she understood, and then leaned up to kiss Quinn’s jaw. It wasn’t any sort of chore to take care of Quinn, and as sad as Rachel was to see Quinn so worn down, she was very ready to get her home and love on her. </p><p>Eliza, still sitting on stage, stared into the crowd and gnawed on her lip, fingers hesitantly splayed out over the keys. </p><p>“You got this, Lady Bug,” Quinn called loudly, offering another thumbs up.</p><p>Ryan whooped and Allison let loose an ear splitting whistle, and with another deep breath, Eliza tucked her hair behind her ears, returned her hands to starting position, and began to play.</p><p>---</p><p>Quinn was drained by the time they got home and Rachel could see it getting harder and harder for her to stay awake. Both eyes were bloodshot and every time she got a moment of peace they would close and her head would droop forward - only to snap up again when someone clamored for her attention. The kids showed no such signs of slowing down at all. They were rushing back and forth showing her new things they’d gotten and telling her stories. Quinn was trying valiantly, but watching her struggle Rachel knew she’d have to cut them off eventually; there was no way Quinn was going to deny them. They were so excited and Quinn looked so happy to see them that it almost broke Rachel’s heart to think about sending them to bed, but when Quinn’s chin hit her chest for a third time, she knew it was bedtime for everyone.</p><p>“Mama, look what I can do!” Liv pleaded, yanking on Quinn’s hands. Quinn smiled dazedly and nodded that she was, indeed, watching as Liv sucked in a deep breath and proceeded to do a handstand in the middle of their living room.</p><p>“Wow, Monkey, you’re so strong,” Quinn gushed, much to Liv’s joy.</p><p>Liv flopped to the floor just as Caleb came in at a dead run from the kitchen, holding his new rollerskates to show, and Eliza from the ‘music’ room with her new sheet music. They were just so excited that ‘Mama’ was home.</p><p>Rachel swooped in and announced bedtime, and despite the whining protests from all three children she didn’t waver, pointing up the stairs. “She’ll still be here in the morning, babies. Let her rest; she came a long way today,” she told them, ushering them up the steps with a small smile. Liv and Eliza stomped up the stairs, constantly turning to look back at Quinn as though she might vanish if they didn’t keep an eye on her.</p><p>Caleb cracked then, dropping his skates onto the floor. He’d been doing so well for four months, but it was too much then. He started crying and ran back to Quinn, climbing up the couch and cuddling into her. “Don’t go!”</p><p>“Peanut,” Quinn murmured, exhaustedly running her fingers through his hair. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”</p><p>“Promise?” He begged, his whole face trembling and flushed bright pink.</p><p>“I promise,” Quinn said, kissing his forehead. “I’m going to be here. We’ll do something special tomorrow, okay? Just you and me. You were so brave for me and you took great care of your sisters and your Mommy. I owe you, buddy; I owe you big time.”</p><p>He took a big gasping breath, then kissed her cheek and went up the stairs after his sisters without another word of protest. </p><p>“I’ll come tuck you in soon,” Rachel told him, then turned back to Quinn.</p><p>“Will you tuck me in?” Quinn asked, blinking heavily.</p><p>“Baby,” Rachel shook her head. “I’m going to sleep on top of you so you can’t possibly slip away.”</p><p>“Never,” Quinn said, heaving herself off the couch. “I promise you, I’m not going anywhere. I’ve been dying a little every morning waking up without you. I can’t wait to open my eyes and see your snoring face pressed into the pillow next to me.”</p><p>Rachel’s eyes welled up again. “I can’t believe you’re home.”</p><p>“I know, me either,” Quinn held up her arm and Rachel quickly ducked under it, wrapping a supporting arm around Quinn to help her up the steps. “I’ve been dreaming of this for months.”</p><p>“I think you spent too much time dreaming and not enough eating,” Rachel said worriedly, feeling the sharpness of Quinn’s hip under her palm. “Didn’t they feed you?”</p><p>“They did, I just worked it all off,” Quinn explained quietly. “Or maybe sweated it off. You have no idea, Rachel. It was like being on another planet.”</p><p>Together they went into the twins’ room and said their goodnights, each delivering goodnight kisses. Then into Caleb’s room to do the same. He sniffled and clung to Quinn’s neck for a long time, Bebo right in there with him. Quinn promised him again that she would be there when he woke up and kissed his towhead, even sparing a peck for Bebo.</p><p>Finally Quinn was back in their bedroom and Rachel couldn’t contain her happiness. She helped her wife pull off her rumpled clothes, shaking her head at the sight of ribs and hips. No new scars though, and that was such a relief. Rachel sighed and traced her fingers down the lines of muscle on Quinn’s stomach, smiling to herself when she found that ticklish spot on her wife’s side that made those muscles twitch.</p><p>Quinn smiled lopsidedly and pulled Rachel’s hands away from her skin. “It’ll come back fast, don’t worry.”</p><p>“I’m allowed to worry. I’ve been worrying for four months,” Rachel argued, pulling Quinn’s sleep shirt over her head. </p><p>Once changed and nestled together under cool sheets and their fluffy comforter, Quinn reached out and touched Rachel’s face, reverently tracing her fingers over eyebrows, down Rachel’s nose, then across her lips. “I wish I had more energy,” she confessed, then pulled Rachel closer and rolled so her wife was sprawled out on top of her.</p><p>“There’s always tomorrow,” Rachel said, nuzzling against Quinn’s warm chest with a sigh. </p><p>“And the day after and the one after that,” Quinn replied, voice dropping off as her eyes closed.</p><p>“Forever,” Rachel murmured and squeezed Quinn just a little tighter.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. The Deep End pt. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Quinn was at her wits’ end, pacing her office like a caged tiger, fists tightening and releasing. In her head she was going over everything they knew, all the things they’d learned. She stopped and sat heavily on the edge of her desk dropping her head into her hands; it was throbbing and her eyes hurt - scratch that - her whole body hurt.</p><p>Out in the bullpen everyone was scrambling. Agents were making calls and going through files, all waiting for that magic phone call that would tell them where Rachel was.</p><p>It wasn’t enough.</p><p>She wanted to go out in the city and tear it apart – she’d rip every building down to find Rachel again.</p><p>“I know what you’re thinking.”</p><p>Quinn pulled her head out of her hands and gazed sightlessly through Ryan. “You do...”</p><p>“Yeah, I do,” he said, easing into her office and closing the door behind him. She watched him draw the blinds and put her head back down. It hurt less that way, cradling it in her palms. “You want to kill them all.”</p><p>“I - she’s all alone,” Quinn whispered, her voice thick. She could barely see Ryan through the tears in her eyes. “God knows what they’ve done to her, where she’s at. She’s probably freezing and terrified and I should be there, not here. It should have been me.”</p><p>Ryan felt his heart breaking as reached down and gently clasped his hands over hers. “Quinn.” He pulled her up off the desk and wrapped his arms around her, whispering assurances against her hair as he rubbed at her back. She was shaking as she started to cry - he could feel it - and he closed his eyes, wishing there was some way he could make this better. Ryan knew nothing would fix this, that he couldn’t fix this. Quinn needed Rachel.</p><p>“Agent Fabray?”</p><p>Quinn jerked away from Ryan’s embrace and darted for her desk, swiping quickly at her eyes.</p><p>Schulte looked more uncomfortable than normal as he stood just inside the door, a plain envelope in his hand.</p><p>“What is it Conrad?” Ryan barked finally. He glowered until Schulte swallowed hard and turned his attention away from Quinn.</p><p>“Envelope, addressed to Agent Fabray.”</p><p>“Did you open it?” Ryan hissed, snatching it away.</p><p>“No. Director Millward said to bring it to you two.”</p><p>With Quinn’s back still to him Ryan ripped open the envelope and almost dropped it. Bile rose up in the back of his throat and white hot anger constricted his chest. God, he couldn’t let...</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“Quinn, I think we should send it to forensics - maybe they can...”</p><p>“Ryan!”</p><p>Wordlessly he handed it to her, lunging forward to grab her as she wailed and stumbled, dropping the envelope on the floor. He caught her as she fell and carefully lowered himself to the floor, holding her in his lap. The contents of the envelope had tumbled out, and Rachel’s pearl ring stood out against the dark blue of the carpet, still on the severed finger.</p><p>“No, no, no!” Quinn shouted and turned her face into Ryan’s chest.</p><p>“Schulte take that to forensics. Now!” Ryan ordered, stroking Quinn’s hair and rocking her.</p><p>Conrad was frozen; he stared at the appendage on his boss’ floor, mesmerized by the ring and crudely shredded flesh.</p><p>“Get out!” Ryan bellowed, tightening his embrace around a shivering Quinn. He watched Schulte jump forward and grab the finger, careful to use the envelope to pick it up. Quinn was still crying into his neck and clutching desperately at his shirt. Swaying in a manner he hoped was soothing he kissed her forehead and told her over and over, “It’s okay.”</p><p>“I want the ring back,” Quinn gasped abruptly, jerking herself away from him. “Wait, Schulte, I want her ring back.”</p><p>“Quinn?”</p><p>“Just - you don’t need it, please?”</p><p>Ryan shook his head, Quinn knew better and he knew it. She wasn’t thinking clearly, and he couldn’t blame her for it. That was Rachel’s finger. The distress on Quinn’s face made it hard for him to think straight; he couldn’t imagine what was going on inside her head. “There could be a fingerprint on it, Q.”</p><p>“What possible good will that do? We already know who has her. We don’t know where, Ryan. Please? Please.”</p><p>He folded almost instantly, unable to deny her. “I’ll see what I can do.”</p><p>---</p><p>It felt like it’d been a lifetime. Her stomach hurt, her head was still pounding, and her back and shoulders ached so bad she wanted to lie down and die. Quinn felt like she had died, actually, and she must be in Hell. She sat at her desk idly spinning Rachel’s ring between her fingers, staring at it but not really seeing it. All she could see was Rachel - bound, bloodied, and crying for her.</p><p>She looked out at the bullpen, at her co-workers bustling about and wondered what they saw when they glanced her way. Would they lose respect for her? She didn’t think so; if anything they seemed more terrified of her than anything else. When someone walked past her office they gave the door a wide berth, as though she would come tearing out after them for getting too close.</p><p>Part of her was grateful for the space and yet the other part yearned for someone to come in and sit with her. Just sit. She felt so alone and lost.</p><p>Reaching up she touched the St. Michael medal resting against her sternum, the burn in her eyes intensifying as she remembered Rachel giving it to her. Quinn had purchased a Star of David for Rachel, knowing how important her faith was to her, and been surprised when Rachel reciprocated with the pendant.</p><p>“I know you stopped wearing your cross, but I thought maybe you might accept this in its place?”</p><p>“God,” Quinn choked, carefully putting the ring down on her desk to undo the clasp on her necklace. With trembling fingers she fumbled to thread Rachel’s ring onto the slender chain, returning it to her neck and clasping the medal and ring together in her fist. Her hands hadn’t stopped shaking since the envelope and she was certain they weren’t going to stop until she had a hold of Rachel again. But feeling the pearl digging into her palm strengthened her resolve. Clenching her jaw she took a deep, ragged breath and stood on wobbly legs. “Alright, St. Michael, you and I have business to do.”</p><p>As if in answer to her half prayer Ryan came bursting through her door. “Quinn, we’ve been running the leads Ernst gave us. I’ve got an eye witness report – I think we found them.”</p><p>She didn’t say a word or allow her face to betray her hope; if there was one thing Quinn was always good at it was keeping a blank expression. Ryan raised an eyebrow - which she ignored - watching her pull on her suit jacket and scoop up her badge and Glock.</p><p>“Quinn?”</p><p>“What are you waiting for?” She asked as she breezed past him, striding confidently towards the elevators. “Ryan, let’s go.”</p><p>“Quinn,” he called, chasing after her. “You can’t go.”</p><p>Quinn offered him a tight smile and punched the button for the ground floor. “The hell I can’t.”</p><p>“Qball.”</p><p>She whirled on him, grabbing a fistful of his previously neatly pressed and likely expensive dress shirt, and crowded right into his personal bubble. “Don’t. Ryan, don’t think for a second that I’m not going. I don’t care about anything else but getting her back. So if you think I’m going to sit here on my hands and patiently wait for you to go rescue my fiancée you’re wrong. If you think you’re going to stop me from going I will do what I have to – and you know I will. Punishment be damned, I’m fucking going.”</p><p>Ryan didn’t say another word, gaping at her for the rest of the brief elevator ride and all the way out to the vehicle.</p><p>“Agent Peterson?” Agent Amato asked curiously, sharing a quick glance with Schulte who could only shrug.</p><p>“Agent Fabray is coming with us,” Ryan told them, warily eyeing Quinn as she climbed into the passenger seat and sedately buckled her seatbelt – like they were just going to lunch.</p><p>It was the scariest fucking thing he’d ever seen her do. He’d seen her cold and he’d seen her furious, but the way she was moving now, so calculated, eyes dead and face completely devoid of emotion... it was almost inhuman. She’d fallen apart when they’d gotten the finger and he didn’t blame her in the slightest for it. He’d gone into the locker room to wash his face and ended up bloodying his knuckles on his locker - and it wasn’t his fiancée. Rachel was special to him, too, like family really, and he knew he’d become a fearsome wreck seeing such gruesome evidence of the pain and reality of their situation. If anything he’d expected Quinn to do something similar, or at least lash out at someone as she normally would when something hit too close and managed to get past her formidable defenses. This person who’d all but whispered to him in the elevator and now stared at him from the passenger seat of his vehicle... it wasn’t the Quinn he knew. It was a shell, a stranger - some sort of eerie half-Quinn. A stone-faced robot that reminded him too much of hardened, almost heartless combat veterans who didn’t know any other life than that of violence and death. He hoped Rachel was still alive, because he had no idea what was going to happen to Quinn, or anyone else, if she was gone.</p><p>“Mount up,” he barked, shaking the dread off his shoulders. “Let’s go.” Watching as Amato and Schulte scrambled into the vehicle he heaved himself into the driver seat, doing his very best not to stare at his partner.</p><p>Quinn didn’t care about his staring; she didn’t care about Hector Amato or Conrad Schulte watching her like she was going to explode at any second.</p><p>They knew where Rachel was. She was going to get Rachel.</p><p>The streets blurred by, a haze of colors and sounds and she didn’t care about that either. All she could see was Rachel – Rachel waiting for her, calling for her. </p><p>As soon as the vehicle stopped she was out the door and rounding the back, methodically preparing herself, checking her magazine, pulling on her vest, testing the radios and handing them off. Ryan came up behind her, so she turned to him and quirked an eyebrow as if to say ‘well?’</p><p>He simply nodded and she felt a rush of affection for her partner. She wasn’t being very good to him right now, but he got it; she knew he got her.</p><p>A map was unfurled in the back of the Tahoe and all four of them bent to see where Ryan was pointing. <br/>“Alright, our eyewitness said he saw a grey Caddy pull into this warehouse and unload four people. He didn’t get a good look at them but the only person we know for sure is a friendly is Rachel Berry.” He glanced quickly at Quinn and then set a photo of Rachel down beside the map. “There could be at least three hostiles, so keep your heads on a swivel. It’s on the waterfront so Amato, Schulte I want you to sweep around and come in from this direction. Fabray, you’re with me.”</p><p>Quinn watched his finger move along the map, but her eyes were always drawn back to the picture of Rachel. Beautiful, smiling, happy Rachel, beaming that ridiculously bright grin of hers at her from the gloss of the photo. She licked her lips as she nodded, adrenaline already starting to hit her system; she was pumped, ready, and absolutely terrified. If she was dead... They’d already hurt her - in a way that Quinn wasn’t sure she could fix - they’d taken her and Quinn was going to take something back. She’d prayed this day would never come, pleaded with God to keep Rachel from experiencing the horrors she had. He had let her down but Quinn wasn’t going to let Rachel down. She couldn’t any further than she already had. Her job was simple - love and protect - and she’d failed. No matter how scared she was, no matter how ashamed she was that she’d brought this down on Rachel... she was going to make it right. There was no way she would fail again. </p><p>She couldn’t.</p><p>“Let’s go be heroes,” Ryan concluded, pulling the door back down and shutting it with a firm, final click. Amato and Schulte took off, crouching low, and Ryan nudged her lightly. “I’m on point; you stay with me, Quinn. Rachel will kick my ass if you get hurt.”</p><p>She didn’t bother with a reply, not the she could have anyway; her throat constricted hard at the way he’d said it - like Rachel was already fine, like they weren’t attempting to rescue her.</p><p>Ryan shook his head, dropped low and started towards the nearest cover. Quinn followed him step for step, appreciating the way they moved together as a single fluid unit. She could anticipate him, knew where he would stop, how he would react, and likewise he knew how to respond to and with her. They didn’t say anything, didn’t look at each other, just moved together with a single minded purpose.</p><p>They darted forward towards a high chain link fence knowing their target just on the other side and Quinn’s heart leapt into her throat because she could see Rachel.</p><p>She could see her.</p><p>“Ryan,” she hissed desperately, back pressed against a shabby wall, head barely peeking around to stare at the wide open doors blatantly showing her three people and one vehicle.</p><p>“Where’s the fourth?” Ryan whispered back.</p><p>“I don’t know but the small one’s Rachel.” Everything in her was screaming for her to run in, gun blazing, just like they would in the movie, but her need to keep Rachel safe demanded she respect her training and think it through first. “Ryan...”</p><p>“I know, Q. Just hold on.”</p><p>Quinn tried to calm herself, settling deeper into a crouch, and feeling the weight of her Glock comforting and familiar in her hands. She just hoped Rachel wouldn’t do something crazy – which, given Rachel, was entirely possible.</p><p>Then she felt it; she always did no matter how far apart they were. Rachel was looking at her - right at her.</p><p>Alive. Rachel was alive. </p><p>“Rachel,” she breathed out without meaning to and gripped her Glock that much tighter, relieved that Rachel was not only breathing, but also wasn’t crammed into the trunk of the car where Quinn couldn’t see her. That would have been smart on Tweedledee and Tweedledum’s part and made Quinn’s job that much harder.</p><p>“How are we going to do this?” Ryan pondered out loud.</p><p>Wait for me, Rachel, please for the love of God, wait for me and don’t do anything rash, she begged silently, ignoring Ryan and eyeing the fence blocking her way. The two unlucky lackeys holding Rachel hostage were milling around, waiting for their deal and trade. Too bad the only thing Quinn had for them was her Glock and a bad attitude that would have made even Sue Sylvester shit her pants.</p><p>Storm clouds were moving in and Quinn could smell the rain, even almost taste it. The air all but crackled with energy, promising thunder and lightning to add to the already tense situation. Sure enough, a low rumble sounded overhead and a drop hit Quinn right on the nose. She shot Ryan a look and he rolled his eyes, an unspoken ‘go figure’ passing between them.</p><p>In the warehouse the shapes were moving, and she squinted and felt what could only be described as a growl vibrate in her chest as one of the thugs yanked Rachel up from her seat and then blocked her from view completely.</p><p>“Ryan,” she snapped, every muscle coiled and ready to leap into action.</p><p>“Fuck. Go, over the fence, try and be quiet.”</p><p>Quinn slid forward and kept her eyes on the huddled mass in the warehouse as she gripped the fence and started to haul herself up as stealthily as possible.</p><p>They were always in over their heads, it seemed, and she just wanted to get them all out of this one. Alive.</p><p>She froze, hanging precariously, when a gunshot went off, its echo horrible in the stillness. Her heart stopped, just stopped. She couldn’t see clearly around the figures in the distance, couldn’t see if that shot had been for Rachel. Then she saw movement, heard shouting, and remembered how to breathe - she’d recognize that award winning voice anywhere.</p><p>Another roll of thunder boomed overhead and rain started to fall in earnest as Quinn started climbing faster, unconcerned now with the loud clatter of the fence. More gunfire erupted as Rachel - fierce little Rachel - slugged one guy square in the face and darted for the car. Quinn couldn’t seem to climb fast enough to get there, forced instead to watch as Rachel ducked and dodged bullets.</p><p>Quinn’s feet hit the ground again just as the car engine roared to life. Rain pelted hard against her face and body as she took off at a dead sprint, ignoring Ryan’s shout of her name, only able to see Rachel. Tires squealed in protest as Rachel threw the vehicle into reverse, unaware or uncaring that behind her lay the pier and beyond that the deep blue, freezing waters of the Atlantic.</p><p>She wasn’t going to get there in time and that realization hit Quinn at the same time as she saw where Rachel was headed, what her grand escape plan seemed to be.</p><p>Oh shit.</p><p>She never slowed her furious pace as she came up on the hangar, pushing herself to run faster still as Rachel’s screams reached her ears. Bullets hit the car, broke the windshield, and bounced off the frame as the men fired desperately at their fleeing hostage. They were poorly aimed shots but still a threat, and Quinn knew she needed the thugs’ attention off of Rachel.</p><p>“FBI!” she bellowed at the top of her lungs, almost as loud as the thunderclap. Lightning lit up the warehouse and there was a flash that was just enough to give her a better look at Rachel’s abductors. She didn’t hesitate or even slow down as she fired; multiple shots struck targets, ripping holes in bodies, just as Rachel’s ‘getaway’ vehicle crashed into the ocean, and Quinn didn’t stop firing until both threats were neutralized. Dropping her pistol without thought, she charged right out onto the pier and hit the water in a running dive.</p><p>The Atlantic was shockingly cold, the bite so intense it stunned her for a second, but she quickly shook it off and frantically followed the trail of bubbles leading down to the car. Breaking back to the surface she sucked in the deepest lungful of air she could and dove again, pulling as hard as possible, feeling the strain in her chest and shoulders. She pulled and pulled until her outstretched hands hit the car and she almost ran her head into it. Hooking her fingers around the busted windshield she ignored the pain of the glass tearing into her skin and dragged herself around. Rachel wasn’t moving - the side of her head dark with blood, hair floating around like an inky cloud, and her eyes closed almost serenely.</p><p>No!</p><p>A fresh shot of adrenaline flooded her with warmth, a fire in her bloodstream burning almost as bad as her lungs. She didn’t care. Reaching in she yanked and wrestled to get Rachel free of the death trap, wanting to scream in frustration and panic. Finally she had her limp body out from under the steering column and she  gathered her in close, planting her feet on the hood of the car and pushing off hard, kicking for both their lives.</p><p>The water sluiced past, too loud in the confines of her head. All she could hear was the rush of the frigid sea and the pounding of her own heartbeat. Her lungs felt like they were going to burst and black spots were starting to swim in front of her eyes just as their heads broke the surface. Quinn let loose a strangled cry and a hacking cough, trying to gulp in air and managing to inhale more ocean water at the same time.</p><p>“Rachel, Rachel, Rachel,” she whimpered, absolutely exhausted as she tried to drag them back onto the rough wooden pier by sheer power of will. A large hand reached down, like the hand of God, hauling them both up. Ryan - it was Ryan - and he was talking into his phone and shouting and Quinn couldn’t have cared less. Her eyes roved between Rachel’s blue lips, her dark hair curled and plastered against her face, and a gash marring the left side of her temple.</p><p>Quinn shoved Ryan away and bent over Rachel, already trying to hold back sobs as she listened for breath, for a sign of life. There was nothing. She jumped into CPR, tilting Rachel’s head back, pinching her nose, and giving her a breath, then another, then back to chest compressions.</p><p>“Come on, Rachel, come on!” she urged, shaking her head to fling some of the water out of her eyes. Whether they were tears or ocean water or from the fucking sky that was dumping down on them, she didn’t know, but she couldn’t see. “Rachel, breathe! Goddamn it!”</p><p>Not able to keep control anymore she started sobbing, forcing jello like limbs to continue to press down on Rachel’s chest and tired lungs to continue working so she could puff air back into Rachel’s.</p><p>“Rachel, please, I’m here... I’m here and I need you to breathe!”</p><p>Rachel convulsed, life flaring back into her eyes accompanied by a horrifically painful sounding inhale. She immediately gagged and threw up while Quinn nearly collapsed with relief. Feeling like rubber wouldn’t stop Quinn from reaching for Rachel though, nothing in the world could stop her now. She grasped the shuddering little body and pulled it into her own, cradling Rachel close and shushing her over the static sound of the gentling rainfall. Rachel mewled and Quinn tried to wind herself more protectively around her; it felt like Rachel was trying to crawl into Quinn’s skin as she wormed and curled in closer, tucking her head under Quinn’s chin and clutching at her shoulder and chest.</p><p>“Quinn?” she kept rasping, almost disbelievingly. “Quinn?”</p><p>Quinn took in the most painful breath of her life and let it all out in a whoosh, her body caving in and almost going limp, eyes closed tight. “Rachel,” she said, crying even harder now, running her hands all over Rachel’s body. “Oh my God, Rachel. You beautiful, wonderful, crazy woman.” She kissed the top of Rachel’s head again and again then huffed in disbelief. “You drove a car into the ocean.”</p><p>“They were shooting at me!” Rachel defended hoarsely.</p><p>Even though she’d nearly died not ten minutes before, Rachel still managed to sound so indignant, so Rachel, that Quinn couldn’t help but laugh. She stopped soon after, her throat and lungs and whole damn body protesting her giddiness.</p><p>In the distance sirens could be heard.</p><p>“You shot them?” Rachel asked and Quinn tried to shush her again as she rocked them side to side.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Quinn,” Rachel cried, turning her face into Quinn’s neck, shuddering. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“No, no it’s okay, God I’m just so glad you’re…” Quinn stiffened as she remembered the ring on her necklace. “Rachel, your hand!” Pulling back she grabbed for Rachel’s left hand and swallowed hard as she saw the bloody bandage wrapped there. “Oh fuck, Rachel.” She unwound the material, wondering if there was any hope of reattaching the digit, blinking as she was greeted to the sight of five intact fingers. “You – they cut off your finger! I saw it!”</p><p>“The – Beni – he cut if off the dead girl,” Rachel whispered, staring at Quinn who was staring at her wiggling fingers.</p><p>“I don’t want to hurt you.”</p><p>It was the truth; Beni meant every word. He was just the driver, that was all, and he’d never done anything like this before. They’d never asked him to be so involved in their business and he didn’t want to be - not if it involved things like this. She was looking up at him, so helpless, and he desperately wished he was anywhere else. He watched her shrink away from him, folding in on herself as best as she could, her tiny body shivering. He wanted to rescue her, not hurt her, but if he didn’t do as asked they would both get hurt - far worse. Leo would probably kill them both. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he repeated sadly. He didn’t have a choice.</p><p>She shook her head rapidly.</p><p>Beni sat back on his heels and wiped at his mouth. There had to be a way to make Leo happy and not hurt the girl.</p><p>An idea hit him and he turned to his left, eyeing the blonde woman lying on the ground next to Rachel. He was pretty sure she was dead; her bared chest wasn’t moving at all and Beni could just see the long black line around her throat from where Leo had choked her with his belt. She hadn’t moved since, so she was probably dead, right?</p><p>“Can you, could you scream and act like I’m hurting you? Please? I need him to think I did what he asked.”</p><p>Rachel’s eyes were huge in her pale face, tears still leaking from the corners, but she nodded slowly.</p><p>Smiling to try and reassure her, Beni moved around the dead girl and carefully uncurled her stiff fists. He set the blade of his knife down against the skin. He wasn’t really sure how to do this; after all he didn’t make a habit out of cutting off people’s fingers. It took him awhile, but as soon as he started cutting Rachel started thrashing and howling behind the tape barrier. Beni tried to go as quick as possible; he didn’t want Leo to come back and catch him. As soon as the finger came off in his hand he nearly threw up, but managed to compose himself.</p><p>He fished in his pockets and pulled out his handkerchief. “I know this is kind of gross but um, I need to wrap this around your hand, okay? I just washed it, though.”</p><p>Again Rachel nodded, so Beni moved over to her and started to tie the cloth to her left hand but stopped when he realized how starkly white and clean it was. He stared at the handkerchief and frowned. It needed to be red. Without a second thought he put the finger in his pocket and dug the knife into his palm. It stung, a lot, but only produced a thin stream of blood. He sighed and shrugged - it would have to do; it’s not like Leo was going to inspect his work or anything. Leo didn’t do stuff like that. Beni mopped up the blood and tried to get most of it on one part of the handkerchief so it would look like more, then he bundled it and loosely wrapped it around Rachel’s hand. “Sorry, that’s not very clean now, but um, you can wash it off later?” As he was twisting the fabric around her hand he noticed the pearl ring on Rachel’s ring finger. A fresh wave of guilt swelled. He took her finger as gently as he could, that ring would make Leo happy, and if Leo was happy he’d likely leave her alone. He didn’t want to watch him taunt her anymore. “I’m going to take your ring, okay? I promise you’ll get it back.”</p><p>She shook her head adamantly, and squealed from behind the tape.</p><p>“Please, I’m trying to help,” he said and she stopped struggling, chest heaving as she sobbed. He slipped the dainty ring off then folded her finger into her palm and covered it with his handkerchief. Now it definitely looked - to him anyway - like he’d cut the finger off of her.</p><p>Beni straightened back up and gave the ring some more attention. It was a simple thin silver band with a single bright pearl, unlike any engagement ring he’d seen before. “It’s really pretty.”</p><p>She nodded jerkily, still crying and gasping hard, the tape moving back and forth, and her breath wheezing through her nose.</p><p>He had just stepped away from her when Leo came back. Beni dug the finger out of his pocket, slipping the ring onto it as secretly as he could and reaching for the envelope that had ‘Agent Fabray’ written on it in big black letters, not wanting to let Leo look at the finger too much. He was worried that Rachel would seem too calm for someone who’d had their finger cut off, but when he checked she had her head bowed. Leo tapped her cheek a couple of times and Rachel whined like a puppy. Beni decided then and there that she was the best actress in the world.</p><p>“Good work, bambino,” Leo sneered, snatching the newly sealed envelope from Beni’s hands. “Let’s see if this gets their attention.”</p><p>“How much longer, Leo?” Beni asked, scuffing his foot along the dirty floor.</p><p>“I’ll give them a couple more hours and then I’ll call.”</p><p>“Maybe we could give her something to drink? I bet she’s thirsty.”</p><p>Leo stared at him and Beni shrugged. “Whatever. Just keep the bitch quiet.”</p><p>As soon as Leo had stalked away to call someone to deliver the envelope Beni knelt back down at Rachel’s side. “I want to give you some water, so I’m going to take the tape off. Will you please be quiet so he doesn’t hurt you?”</p><p>Rachel nodded gratefully and he carefully picked at the end of the duct tape until he could pinch the end between his fingers, wincing as he peeled it away from her lips. He didn’t want to take too long, just in case, and he spilled a little water down her face in his haste when he lifted his water bottle against her mouth.</p><p>“Sorry,” he whispered, and honestly meant it. He was sorry for all of it.</p><p>“Thank you,” she said hoarsely.</p><p>“Do you want some more?”</p><p>“Please.”</p><p>He attempted to be better this time and was proud of himself when he didn’t spill any more water on her. She took a few greedy gulps and he pulled the bottle away to let her catch her breath. “Done?”</p><p>“Yes,” her lower lip quivered and his heart ached at the sight.</p><p>“I have to put the tape back,” he told her, already reaching for the roll to get a fresh strip. “I’ve seen your show before,” he said softly, ducking his head as he pulled a length of tape free. “I took my Mama for her birthday. You sing like an angel.”</p><p>Beni wiped her tears gently and smoothed the tape back over her mouth. “I’m sorry, so sorry. I’m just a driver.”</p><p>“You’re okay,” Quinn murmured, still shocked. “You’re okay. I didn’t know where you were, if you were hurt and then they sent me a finger with your ring and I – I thought…” Immeasurable guilt sank like a stone in her gut, leaving her queasy. She swallowed back the encroaching acid rising in her throat and glanced back towards the hanger, towards the two men she had killed without a second thought. One of them - one of them had tried to help Rachel. The weight of the thought threatened to swamp her fragile grasp on what was left of her recently returned composure.</p><p>“I knew you would come,” Rachel said softly, unknowingly interrupting Quinn’s dark thoughts. She laid her head back down on Quinn’s chest. “I knew it.”</p><p>Sniffling, Quinn fumbled for the clasp of her necklace and pulled the ring off the chain. “This is yours, if you still want it.” </p><p>Rachel nodded, unwilling and too exhausted to move her head off of Quinn’s chest but she lifted her left hand and watched Quinn’s shaking fingers put the ring back on her finger. “What happens now?”</p><p>The sight of that ring back in its rightful place on Rachel’s finger helped ease the ache in Quinn’s chest just enough. Quinn sighed, kissing the fingers curled around hers. All five of them. “Now they take us to the hospital and take our statements. I get suspended or fired and then we go home. My vote is a hot shower, some equally hot soup, followed by cuddling on the couch under a blanket to watch Looney Tunes until we pass out.”</p><p>“They’re going to fire you?” Rachel asked so quietly that Quinn could barely hear it.</p><p>“Millward is not going to be impressed with me or my ‘heroics’. I don’t think he’ll fire me though; I’m just being dramatic… I hope.”</p><p>“Quinn…”</p><p>“It’s okay, it’s fine, don’t worry. You’re safe and that’s all that matters to me.”</p><p>“I don’t want you to get in trouble,” Rachel whimpered.</p><p>“Don’t worry, okay? It’ll work out,” Quinn shushed her again, peering up to see Ryan standing a few paces away watching them both with the most heartbreakingly relieved expression. She smiled at him, hot tears running down her chilled face as she mouthed ‘thank you’ at him. He nodded curtly then ducked his head,  jerking his thumb toward the ambulance and the paramedics who were already running towards them.</p><p>The paramedics descended upon them and Quinn tried not to fight them when they took Rachel from her, but her body had a different idea and her hands kept reaching towards the stretcher baring her fiancée. “I’m fine, really, I’m only half drowned. Please…”</p><p>Rachel didn’t struggle at all, but she refused to turn her eyes away from Quinn. It wasn’t until the stretcher was placed back into the ambulance and Quinn was sitting on the bench seat that she was able to stretch her hand out again and smile as Rachel met her halfway, tangling their hands together.</p><p>“I love you, Rachel,” she said with all the conviction she had.</p><p>Rachel smiled woozily, and whispered back, “I love you too.”</p><p>Quinn watched Rachel’s eyes flutter shut as the paramedic worked over her, but Quinn couldn’t close her own. She was afraid if she did Rachel might disappear and she’d wake up back in her office. That she’d wake up to find this was all a dream. In that moment Rachel’s hand squeezed, and it was as if she knew what Quinn was thinking – or maybe fearing the same thing and also needing the reassurance. </p><p>“I’m here,” Quinn said, squeezing back. “It’s okay.”</p><p>Rachel’s grip slackened but didn’t let go, and Quinn leaned forward to ease the stretch between them. She stared at their clasped hands dangling between them and for the first time since it all started there was some peace.</p><p>They were going to be okay.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Jeepers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a hectic day at work - a hectic day which included a foot chase on icy streets - Quinn was more than ready to be home. Add on to that the fact that she’d fallen spectacularly during said foot chase and was currently nursing a bruised backside that wasn’t helped by the extra hour spent sitting on that bruise because there was an accident...</p><p>Quinn groaned, unabashedly rubbing at her hip and ass as she stumbled down the hall to her apartment, eyes steadfastly glued to the prize of her front door. Her plans for the rest of the evening were simple: hot shower, cuddles with her wife, pizza, more cuddles, glorious, well-earned sleep and possibly some Icy-Hot.</p><p>She should have known that it wouldn’t work out the way she planned - she didn’t have the best track record with plans.</p><p>Slumping into the front door, she let her bodyweight press it open and almost fell into the short entry way. Something immediately felt off. Rachel wasn’t in the kitchen raiding their fridge, nor was she on the couch completely consumed with True Blood, Grey’s Anatomy, or the other TV seasons Quinn had gotten her. Quinn liked routines, she liked to know what to expect and Rachel had become fairly predictable lately.</p><p>The hair on the back of her neck stood up and her body tensed as possibilities raced around her head. She dug her half frozen fingers into the pocket of her long winter coat and fumbled her phone out, checking for missed calls or text messages. </p><p>None. </p><p>Anxiety jumping up another notch, she put the phone back and pulled her coat away from her hip, exposing the pistol resting there. Setting her hand on the butt of her firearm she strode cautiously into her home, listening for any sign of Rachel. </p><p>The faint sounds of crying touched her ears and that was all she needed to send her fully into ‘protector’ mode, racing down the hall towards their bedroom. Grabbing at the doorknob she twisted futilely, swearing under her breath as the sound of Rachel’s sobbing now clearly sounded from behind the locked door.</p><p>Had she fallen? Was she sick? Did something happen to - Quinn shook her head hard, refusing to entertain those thoughts. “Rachel?” she called lightly, resting her forehead against the door and trying to calm her racing heart. “Rach?”</p><p>Rachel stuttered something unintelligible and Quinn eyed the door, wondering if she should just break it down. Ryan usually kicked doors in, it made him feel manly or something, but she’d done her share - the only problem was she might scare Rachel... or anger her.</p><p>Then she remembered the key and nearly slapped her forehead in exasperation. </p><p>“Damn it, damn it, damn it,” Quinn hissed, standing up on her tiptoes to run her hand along the edge of the door frame. Knocking the key off the ledge she drove her head right into the wall when she bent too hastily to retrieve it from the floor. “Ow.”</p><p>Temple throbbing and heart practically trying to claw its way out of her throat she shakily unlocked the door, barely keeping from throwing it open.</p><p>Quinn almost passed out in relief when she saw Rachel sitting cross-legged on their bed, propped up on pillows and crying into Quinn’s sweatshirt. From what she could see there was no blood, no masked assailant, and other than the tears Rachel appeared to be perfectly fine. </p><p>“Rachel,” Quinn said, glancing around the room for whatever it was that had upset Rachel. It was fairly easy to do, more so than usual lately. Something as simple as Quinn hanging a shirt backwards could send her wife off. Quinn cautiously stepped further into the room and turned her head, barely keeping from groaning when she saw what was on the TV. “Oh, Rachel,” she sighed, and rubbed at her face. She was fine. Her face was flushed and her breathing erratic, but she was fine. With a heavy sigh she felt most of the tension drain away.</p><p>Fucking Animal Planet.</p><p>“Quinn!” Rachel cried, finally noticing that someone else was in the room and tearing her eyes away from the screen. She dropped the crumpled, tear stained ball of Quinn’s sweatshirt and stretched out both hands towards her like a child.</p><p>Quinn slipped out of her coat and toed off her shoes, needing no further invitation. Crawling carefully up onto the mattress she dipped low to dot a kiss to Rachel’s stomach and then one to a wet cheek. “Hi, baby, hi Superstar. What’s going on?”</p><p>“These people, these disgusting people had an apartment full of kitties and they were starving and sick and there were dead ones a - and...” Rachel hiccuped and then started sobbing again, leaning into Quinn’s shoulder and clutching at her with one hand, the other wrapped protectively around her belly.</p><p>“Rachel, this is why you’re not supposed to watch Animal Cops,” Quinn reminded, stroking her hand over soft hair and pressing her lips to her wife’s head.</p><p>“I k-kept thinking about Sarah McLachlan singing Angel and all those sad animals and then I started singing it and now I c-can’t stop crying.”</p><p>Quinn shut her eyes and tried very hard not to laugh; the story was funny and very Rachel, but the situation wasn’t quite as humorous. She could feel Rachel’s heartbeat pounding away and her breath was still hitching in a way that might lead to hyperventilating if she couldn’t get her to calm down. “Sweetheart,” she said, moving her other hand down to rub small circles on Rachel’s stomach. “Shhh, okay, it’s alright.”</p><p>“No it’s not!” Rachel wailed, holding tighter to Quinn’s shirt.</p><p>“Why was the door locked?” Quinn asked lightly, hoping a change of subject might help. It wasn’t the strangest thing Rachel had done - coming home to find all of their food in garbage bags had been pretty odd. As had the vomiting episode launched by bananas of all things. A locked door however... that was odd and slightly terrifying. “Rach, you can’t do stuff like that... what if I needed to get to you? I know there’s a key, but I worry about you, ya know? You’re sort of important to me.”</p><p>“I got s-scared this afternoon.”</p><p>Smile falling, Quinn leaned back and swept sable hair out of shimmering coffee colored eyes. “Why were you scared?” </p><p>“I don’t know. I just was,” Rachel sniffled. “You weren’t home and - I came in here and locked the door.”</p><p>“You could have called, I would’ve come home,” Quinn said, pulling Rachel over so she could kiss her forehead again. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here and you got scared.”</p><p>“Are you mad?”</p><p>“No, Superstar, I’m not mad. Not at all,” Quinn assured her and sleepily nuzzled against Rachel’s head. She was so tired and cuddling Rachel was a surefire way to knock her out.</p><p>“Can you stay home tomorrow?”</p><p>“Tomorrow is Saturday, remember? I’m on vacation leave for Chrismukkah so you’ve got me home with you for a whole week,” Quinn said, beaming when Rachel offered a trembling smile. “We’re picking your Dads up from the airport tomorrow too.”</p><p>“I forgot what day it is,” Rachel confessed, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out with a hard shudder that worked through her whole frame. “I’m sorry I locked the door.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Quinn said. “But you call me next time you get scared. Promise me.”</p><p>“I promise,” Rachel said in a tiny voice and put her head back down on Quinn’s shoulder, awkwardly squirming until she was comfortable.</p><p>Quinn looked up at the ceiling and shook her head, wondering if this was karma getting her back from when she’d been pregnant and staying with Puck. The things that had happened... God, she’d been a holy terror. Sighing hard, Quinn grunted as she shifted and her bruise made itself known.</p><p>“I was thinking pizza for dinner? What do you think, huh?” </p><p>Rachel didn’t say anything for so long that Quinn thought she might have fallen asleep, but just as she started to scrunch her way down onto the bed Rachel spoke.</p><p>“I want a cat.”</p><p>Befuddled, Quinn said the first thing that came to mind, “I’m pretty sure that’s not an available topping.”</p><p>“Quinn!” Rachel struggled to sit back up, and her most ferocious Berry glare mutated into the most heart-wrenching pout Quinn had ever seen. “Please, it’s Chrismukkah and I want to save a cat. Please?”</p><p>“Rachel,” Quinn stammered, horrified to see fresh tears well up in Rachel’s eyes. “Don’t cry.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, I can’t help it. They’re so small and defenseless and all alone! It’s not fair! Baby, please?”</p><p>“I’m - you’re pregnant, isn’t there some weird thing about litter boxes and pregnancy?”</p><p>“I don’t know, but you could clean the box until we have the baby and then I promise I’ll take care of it.” Rachel’s bottom lip started to tremble again and Quinn groaned as she gently tugged Rachel back into her.</p><p>“So not only am I getting you a pet but I have to take care it?” She didn’t even bother mentioning that she was allergic to cats. Quinn already knew she’d lost. “Rachel...”</p><p>“It’s Chrismukkah,” Rachel whimpered. “You can take back all my other presents, even the diamond earrings!”</p><p>Quinn felt one eyebrow creep up her forehead. “Someone’s been snooping.”</p><p>“You need better hiding places,” Rachel said, still gazing imploringly up at Quinn. “Baby, can I please rescue a kitty?”</p><p>Resigned to her fate, Quinn nodded slowly and then choked in surprise when Rachel crushed her in a fierce hug and showered her face with kisses. </p><p>“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Rachel chanted, then started to scoot her way towards the edge of the bed, leaving Quinn behind in a happy daze. “Can you help me find my shoes?”</p><p>“Wait, what?” Quinn snapped out of her temporary kiss-induced bliss and stared incredulously at her wife. “Right now?”</p><p>“Yes, now!” Rachel chirped, hissing out a sharp breath as she wobbled up onto her feet and headed towards the closet. “Come on, baby, we have to hurry and get there before they close!”</p><p>“What is my life?” Quinn pondered aloud and stiffly maneuvered her battered body off the soft mattress to go and find Rachel’s shoes.</p><p>---</p><p>The cat was a demon.</p><p>That’s all Quinn really knew at this point, seated in her bed as far as possible from and glaring over at the little bundle of cream and chocolate colored fur. She sneered as two unnaturally bright blue eyes gleamed at her from Rachel’s chest.</p><p>It had taken Rachel all of two minutes in the Humane Society to burst into tears again and declare that she wanted to take them all home.</p><p>Then one of the volunteers - clearly an agent of Satan - who had gushed over Rachel the second she saw her, led them over to one of the back kennels.</p><p>Rachel had fallen in love.</p><p>Quinn got one look at the slitty eyes and sharp features of the Siamese cat and fallen in loathe.</p><p>Despite her protests little miss ‘Rachel Berry’s biggest fan’ had asked Rachel if she wanted to hold the cat. Quinn was certain it would suck out Rachel’s soul or somehow take over the baby or something. Maybe she should stop watching horror movies, but the cat was just... When the hellion had wrapped his long front legs around Rachel’s neck and ‘hugged’ her Quinn just knew she was doomed.</p><p>Rachel had looked over at her with the most unfairly shimmering eyes and said, “Quinn, he’s hugging me! Baby, this one, please? He needs me!”</p><p>Doomed.</p><p>She didn’t like cats - and not because they aren’t cute - but because they had claws and hissed and liked to dwell under beds like most monsters. With those big alien-like blue eyes and angular features she could just imagine him peering out at her from the dark depths of the under-bed. Plus, she was certain she was going to end up tripping on him more than once and Rachel was definitely going to come to his defense instead of hers.</p><p>“Rachel,” she whined, rubbing at her abused backside. “Maybe you could cuddle me - you know, your wife?”</p><p>“I’m bonding with him, Quinn,” Rachel replied patiently, continuing to contentedly stroke her new friend’s pointy ears. “Huh, buddy,” she cooed and Quinn narrowed her eyes as the cat looked at her as if to say, ‘yeah, we’re bonding’.</p><p>Huffing, Quinn wormed deeper into the blankets, mumbling to herself as she continued to try and soothe her pains. </p><p>“Baby, he needs a name... any ideas?”</p><p>“Beelzebub? Lucifer? Mephistopheles, perhaps?”</p><p>Rachel swatted at her without taking her eyes off unnamed demon cat’s face. “Stop it. He’s precious and you know it. You’re just jealous.”</p><p>“No, I hurt and I’m tired and he’s eyeballing me. I think he’s plotting my demise.”</p><p>“You’re hurt?” Finally Rachel’s attention shifted and she reached out to try and touch Quinn. “Why are you way over there? Why didn’t you tell me? What happened?”</p><p>“I fell on the ice chasing a suspect,” Quinn pouted, squirming over to put her head in range of Rachel’s fingers. “I was worried about you when I got home so I didn’t say anything.”</p><p>“Quinn,” Rachel scolded, setting the cat on the bed between them. Grabbing a handful of Quinn’s shirt she tugged until Quinn carefully laid her head down against Rachel’s abdomen. Strong fingers massaged her scalp and Quinn sighed dreamily as she shifted closer, pressing a kiss to Rachel’s stomach. “What am I going to do with you?”</p><p>“Love me?”</p><p>Rachel hummed and stretched her free hand out for the television remote, flicking through channels until she landed on Cartoon Network playing an ancient ScoobyDoo re-run. “We do.”</p><p>With Rachel’s fingers alternating between scratching at her head and running through her hair Quinn was close to falling asleep within minutes. She didn’t even care that the cat was still curled up between them and purring. Allowing her eyes to close, she was just about to ask if Rachel would put some Icy-Hot on her bruise when... </p><p>“Jeepers, Quinn!”</p><p>“It’s a wha-?” Quinn jerked up from her comfortable resting place and looked around the room, searching for spiders or ninjas. “Did you honestly just say ‘jeepers’?”</p><p>“His name!” Rachel scooped the cat back up and held him in front of her face, going as far as to give him an eskimo kiss. “Jeepers!”</p><p>Quinn stared from her proudly beaming wife to the cat and back. “You’re serious.”</p><p>“You don’t like it?”</p><p>Sighing forlornly, Quinn rolled and stumbled out of the bed to go put Icy-Hot on herself. “It’s perfect.” Ignoring the baby talk going on she wrenched open the mirror and made as much noise as possible rummaging for the tube of much needed ointment. “Stupid cat,” she grumbled. “Possessed thing is going to murder me in my sleep and bury me in his litter box. Then he can have Rachel all to himself.”</p><p>When she closed the mirror back she jumped; Rachel was standing in the doorway with a half-grin and both eyebrows at her hairline. “First, I would like to tell you that you’re being quite childish about our pet. Second, I would like to inform you that I actually find it adorable, so you’re going to get away with it. Third, I would like to assist you in your application of gross smelling cream and you can tell me all about your day.”</p><p>Quinn had the good grace to feel sheepish as she offered the Icy-Hot to Rachel. “I caught a bad guy today.”</p><p>“Gold star,” Rachel teased. “And in doing so managed to injure yourself?”</p><p>“I slipped and fell on my ass,” Quinn said, ducking her head. “It was embarrassing. I caught him though and I think he’s more bruised than I am.”</p><p>“Well as long as your pride’s okay.” Rachel shook her head and moved behind Quinn, yanking her sweats down without preamble. “Wow... that is a spectacular bruise.”</p><p>“It hurts,” Quinn whined as sadly and pathetically as she possibly could. Her eyes closed as the chilly cream was smoothed over her skin. Behind her Rachel was giggling quietly, and Quinn somehow fell even more in love. </p><p>“Poor baby,” Rachel whispered warmly right against Quinn’s ear, pulling the pants back up.</p><p>Quinn turned and bent to deliver her own eskimo kiss, grinning widely when Rachel wrinkled her nose. “Thank you, lovely.”</p><p>“You smell funny now,” Rachel said and put her head down on Quinn’s shoulder.</p><p>“But it feels better,” Quinn said. “You smell good.”</p><p>“Charmer.”</p><p>“I do try.” Sighing in utter contentment, Quinn stroked her palms down Rachel’s back and then around to cup her stomach. “How’s my little berry?”</p><p>“It’s a little Fabray,” Rachel corrected, but put her hand down on top of Quinn’s and squeezed.</p><p>“Nu-uh, the internet says it’s about the size of a raspberry right now, which is perfect. It’s my berry.” Quinn giggled and pulled Rachel closer, leaning their foreheads together and looking down to where her thumb was moving in lazy circles again. “Are you nervous? About telling your dads?”</p><p>“Not really... I think they’re going to be excited. Daddy might faint though.”</p><p>“You think so?” Quinn smirked, imagining Hiram’s squeak before he toppled backwards like an old school movie star. Oh, the heat! “I love your dads.”</p><p>“Dad might give us a hard time about not telling them sooner,” Rachel said lowly, tipping her head up to plant a row of slow kisses on Quinn’s jaw. </p><p>“They can’t blame us for wanting to... you know, make sure.”</p><p>“Yes, but they can blame us for not telling them we were trying.”</p><p>Quinn hummed and tilted her head to give Rachel better access. “When you say it that way it sounds like I got you pregnant.”</p><p>“In my mind you did - I mean, we made this baby together, even if not in the traditional way.”</p><p>“And I’m the charmer,” Quinn sighed. Rachel chuckled and nipped at Quinn’s neck, her fingers gripping tighter to Quinn’s shirt. “What are you thinking?”</p><p>“I’m thinking you should put Jeepers in the hall.”</p><p>Not that that wasn’t what Quinn wanted to hear, she still arched an eyebrow and reluctantly pulled away to see those big, dark, eyes. “Oh really?”</p><p>Rachel nodded slowly, bottom lip caught in her teeth. “My dads are going to be here... and you are still so shy with them around. That means I’ve got to get my fix in now.”</p><p>Quinn growled playfully and started backing Rachel towards the bed. “I’m not shy, or I wouldn’t have to be if you could be quiet.”</p><p>“I’m not apologizing,” Rachel said, dragging her nails down Quinn’s back.</p><p>“And I really don’t want you to,” Quinn said, shivering at the sensation. “I’m just remembering last time we were at their house.”</p><p>Rachel stopped her small steps backwards and Quinn trembled at the look being levelled at her. Oh yes, Rachel remembered... though Quinn was actually referring to the humiliating experience of facing Leroy and Hiram Berry after they’d so clearly heard the activities Rachel was so fondly remembering. </p><p>“Quinn... put the cat out.”</p><p>“I thought you were bonding?” Quinn stammered, eyes bulging when Rachel dragged her shirt off and tossed it across the room. Swallowing hard she took in those low slung sweat pants, all that bared skin, and the bra that was just slightly too big to accommodate growth.</p><p>“I’m more interested to playing nurse for my heroic wife, injured in the line of duty.”</p><p>That was all Quinn need to hear... she pounced on the slumbering cat.</p><p>Her night was well worth the scratches that earned her.</p><p>Damn demon cat.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Olivia's Story</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her Mama had been sick - like really sick - for a long time now and Olivia was worried. After her moms had explained that Mama was going to have a baby, Liv had noticed lots of stuff going on and she wasn’t sure what to make of it. They’d been going to the doctor a lot before they said Mama was ‘pregnant’ and now they were acting funny. She was used to them touching and kissing a lot, and she thought it was kind of icky, but now they were doing it even more. Then Mama started to get sick and Liv just knew it was the baby’s fault.</p><p>Liv had seen pregnant ladies before, but they didn’t look like Mama. They had bigger tummies and walked around slow and like penguins. Mama still looked the same, but she was acting different. She was sleepy and sick and always holding her stomach. </p><p>“Why does Mama need a baby?” she wondered out loud, looking up from her uncolored picture to where Eliza was sitting across from her.</p><p>Eliza frowned, still focused on keeping her colors inside the lines, red crayon scribbling away. “I dunno.” </p><p>“Are we not enough?” Liv continued, reaching over to halt her sister's hand. </p><p>That caught Eliza’s attention, and she finally stopped coloring, scrunching up her face to look up at her sister. “Huh?”</p><p>“Ellie,” Liv sighed impatiently and rolled her eyes; her twin was so dumb sometimes. “What if they don’t want us anymore?”</p><p>“That’s dumb,” Eliza replied, shaking her head and returning to her coloring. “We aren’t bad girls. Why would they not want us anymore?”</p><p>“But Mama’s having a new baby,” Liv stressed, waiting impatiently for Eliza to catch on. This was serious!</p><p>“Mommy said they love us and that w-we’re gonna be big sisters,” Eliza said, but Liv could tell she wasn’t sure. She was biting on her lip and holding her crayon a lot tighter. Eliza was always careful with her crayons; she got super upset when she broke one. Liv couldn’t even focus on coloring. She put her crayon down and crossed her arms over her chest.</p><p>When their moms had told them about the baby they said lots of things. They said that they were going to be big sisters, that they’d have a new brother or sister to play with, and they’d still be a happy family. Liv knew they were excited, but she didn’t like that Mama was sick and the more she thought about it the more worried she got.</p><p>“What if they like it more than us?” she challenged.</p><p>“T-they wouldn’t do that,” Eliza mumbled. “Mama said they weren’t re-replay... she said we’re still their babies too.”</p><p>“Maybe they won't keep it, ‘cause Mama’s so sick,” Liv said carefully. “I think it makes her not feel good.”</p><p>“But they’re happy.” Eliza’s frown deepened and Liv nodded. She knew they were happy; Mommy said it all the time when she was cuddling Mama. But she also heard them that morning when Mama was throwing up.</p><p>“Mommy told Mama she was sorry,” Liv whispered conspiratorially. “When Mama throwed up this morning.”</p><p>“Mama cried yesterday, too. ‘Member?” Eliza said. “I don’t like it when she cries.”</p><p>That settled it. Liv pushed her coloring book away and stumbled to her feet. “I’m going to find Mama.”</p><p>“She’s napping, Ollie. You’ll make her cranky.” Eliza shook her head and turned back to her half colored drawing. “We should stay here.”</p><p>“Mommy won’t be home ‘cause she’s singing,” Liv said. “And Mama’s sick and I don’t want her to be sick by herself. Maybe I can make her feel better like Mommy does.”</p><p>“You think so?” Eliza asked, scanning her picture for any flaws. It would have to be perfect if she was going to give it to Mama.</p><p>Liv nodded firmly, fiddling with her fingers idly as she stared at the door for a moment. She wasn’t scared, but she really didn’t want to make Mama cranky either. “Maybe if I make her feel better she’ll see that she doesn’t need the new baby to be happy.”</p><p>“We don’t make her happy?” Eliza looked like she might cry and Liv didn’t want that. If Eliza cried she would probably cry too.</p><p>“I think so, but if we make them happy why do they need a new baby?”</p><p>“I think it’s silly.” Eliza sniffled and held up her drawing. “Do you think Mama would like this?”</p><p>“Yeah!” Liv smiled, plan forming. “You color her a picture and we’ll make her feel better!”</p><p>“Okay,” Eliza set the book back down, forehead pinched as she concentrated on making it absolutely the best picture she’d ever colored. </p><p>Feeling braver now that she had a plan, Liv patted her twin on the head reassuringly and went to go find their Mama.  </p><p>The house was really quiet. Anna wasn’t there because Mama had stayed home from work, and with Mommy gone too it was kind of creepy. Even Jeepers was missing and he was always around.</p><p>Liv tried to be careful not to make lots of noise going down the stairs, making sure to stop on each step and listen to see if she could hear Mama. She rounded the bottom of the stairs into the front room with the couch and saw Mama laying there on her back with an arm over her eyes. Liv couldn’t tell if she was still sleeping or not, so she was even more careful as she approached the sofa. </p><p>Jeepers was there too, curled up on the top of the couch. She waved at him when he looked over at her, wincing when he mewled at her.</p><p>“Shut up and go away,” Mama growled, and Liv froze with one leg hanging in the air, making her wobble. She couldn’t help that her mouth started to do that shaky thing when her eyes got all watery. </p><p>Mama wanted her to go away?</p><p>Jeepers meowed again, and to Liv’s horror jumped down from the couch onto Mama’s chest, bouncing off it onto the floor.</p><p>“Spawn of Satan!” Mama shouted, sitting up and clutching at her chest. “Why? For the love of God, why?”</p><p>Liv stood as still as she could, afraid that she’d already upset Mama without meaning to. It wasn’t her fault Jeepers had jumped on her. Then Mama looked over and her face unwrinkled.</p><p>“Mama?” Liv asked timidly. She really, really didn’t want to make her mad.</p><p>“Hey, Liv, what are you doing?”</p><p>Overwhelmed with the urge for a hug, Liv rushed forward, only to skid to a halt right in front of the couch. She wasn’t sure if she could hug Mama like she wanted to. Fortunately Mama seemed to realize her confusion and lifted her up onto the couch, where she immediately threw her arms around Mama’s neck and hugged her tight. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make him jump on you.”</p><p>“It’s not your fault; your Mommy’s cat is crazy.” Mama said softly, kissing her head. “What’s the matter?”</p><p>“Are you still sick?” Liv asked, worried that Mama might throw up again. She didn’t want her to be sick; she wasn’t tall enough to hold her hair back like Mommy did.  Maybe she could get her a glass of water though, like she’d seen Mommy do before...</p><p>“I feel better now,” Mama pushed her back a little and started playing with her hair. Liv loved when she did that.</p><p>“Does the baby make you sick?” Liv asked, feeling shy now with Mama looking right at her. Maybe Eliza was right, maybe she was being dumb.</p><p>“A little, but it’ll stop in a few weeks hopefully.”</p><p>“But I don’ want you to be sick,” Liv said, reaching out to play with the necklace Mama wore every day. Mommy had one too, but it was a star. Mama’s was round and had an angel on it. Then she saw Mama’s booboo, the one Mommy said was a scar, like a marker dot that never went away, except it was skin. She wasn’t supposed to ask about it, but Mommy touched it, so Liv wanted to too. It felt just like Mama’s skin but it was kind of bumpy. Mama let her touch it for a minute, then held her hand and took it away from the bump.</p><p>“I don’t love it either, but it’ll be okay. It’s part of having a baby,” Mama said, and smiled prettily when Liv looked back up at her. Mama was always pretty, but she was prettiest when she smiled. </p><p>“Why are you having a baby?” Liv frowned and wiped at her eyes, mad that they were leaking. She didn’t want to cry but her eyes weren’t listening. “Don’ you love me and Eliza anymore?”</p><p>“Sweetheart,” Mama groaned a little and Liv felt her face get hot. “No, don’t be embarrassed. I just didn’t know that you felt that way. Livvy, of course I still love you and Eliza. I love you both so much, and your Mommy. We both love you guys.”</p><p>“Then how come you need a new baby?”</p><p>Mama kept petting her hair and as nice as it was it wasn’t enough, so Liv gently put her head down against Mama’s chest, hoping it was okay. When Mama didn’t move, Liv sighed and listened to the thump-thump of her heart.</p><p>“We love you both a lot and your Mommy and I wanted another baby for all of us to love. She had you guys and it made us so happy. When we decided we wanted another one to be a part of our family, Mommy and I talked about it and I told her I wanted to have this baby.”</p><p>“You won’t forget us?” Liv asked, sort of whispering because she was scared of the answer. She knew Mama wouldn’t lie.</p><p>“Never,” Mama said seriously and Liv felt another kiss on her head. “We’re a family. You’re part of us. We couldn’t ever forget you.”</p><p>“What if you like it better than us?”</p><p>“Monkey, no. We’re going to love all of you so much, and you’re going to love your new brother or sister. I promise.”</p><p>“How come your belly isn’t big?” Liv touched Mama’s stomach with a small frown. It was warm and firm, just like always.</p><p>“It will get bigger as the baby grows,” Mama answered, putting her hand on top of Liv’s. “It’s small right now and my tummy will grow to make room when it gets bigger.”</p><p>“Does it hurt?”</p><p>“Nope.”</p><p>“Did Mommy get sick when me and Eliza were inside?”</p><p>Liv felt Mama hum and giggled because it vibrated kind of like when she sang in the shopping cart. </p><p>“She did, but she got better, and I will too.”</p><p>“I don’t like it when you don’ feel good,” Liv said, smoothing her hand over Mama’s stomach like she’d seen Mommy do. Kind of like how Mommy rubbed their tummies when they had an ache.</p><p>Mama didn’t say anything for a long time, but Liv didn’t mind, she liked hearing Mama’s heartbeat and feeling her breathe. It made her feel cozy, like the best snuggle in the whole world. </p><p>“Do you want to go and see Mommy sing tonight? Maybe after we can talk some more about how you’re feeling about the baby?” Mama suggested, and hugged Liv tighter.</p><p>“But that’s past bedtime,” Liv said, pulling away and biting her lip. She loved seeing Mommy sing - even though they only got to go once and had to sit still and be quiet the whole time. It was hard to understand what was going on during the show, but worth it ‘cause hearing Mommy sing was the best thing ever. Sometimes Mommy would sing in the house, like when she was in the shower or helping Mama cook, and sometimes Mama would play the piano and Mommy would sing with her. Liv’s favorite was the nighttime song that Mommy always sang to them. But the show was different and other people sang too. Mommy also had to play pretend in-between the songs. It wasn’t the same as when she sang at home.</p><p>“I think we can make an exception tonight. Do you want to go?”</p><p>“Yes!” Liv bounced, stilling as she remembered she was sitting on Mama’s lap and Mommy had told her to be extra gentle with Mama. “Please?”</p><p>“Go tell your sister. I’ll be up in a minute to help you get ready, okay?”</p><p>“Yeah!” Liv cheered and very carefully climbed down from Mama’s lap. She raced up the stairs as fast as she could and threw open her bedroom door. Eliza shrieked in surprise, tossing a crayon across the room.</p><p>“Ollie!”</p><p>“We’re going to Mommy’s show!”</p><p>Eliza’s eyes got really big, almost as big as her smile. “Really?”</p><p>“Mama said we could go and stay up past bedtime and go see Mommy!”</p><p>“Okay!” As excited as Eliza sounded she was still extra careful as she put the rest of her crayons away, but left her coloring book open to her mostly finished drawing. </p><p>Pleased that her plan had turned out so well Liv danced over to their closet and pushed open the door. “What should we wear?”</p><p>“I want my flower dress,” Eliza said excitedly, leaping up to join Liv in looking at their clothes.</p><p>“Then I’ll wear my one that matches,” Liv said, wishing they had a way to get the clothes down themselves. “We need Mommy’s box.”</p><p>“We’re not supposed to talk about the box,” Eliza hissed, eyes darting around.</p><p>Liv smirked, thinking about the blue table thing that Mommy used in the kitchen sometimes to reach things. Mama made fun of her for it. “Okay. Let’s brush our hair before Mama comes up to help us.”</p><p>“I’ll get the brushes!”</p><p>---</p><p>As much as Liv adored her Mommy and loved seeing her perform, she was not a fan of the icky kissing parts. Not just because kissing was gross, but because the person Mommy kissed was most definitely not Mama and Liv didn’t like it. Not at all.</p><p>She pouted mightily and glared at the man on stage, doing her best to stay quiet like Mama told her. It was hard not to yell at him to keep his stupid mouth away from Mommy. Liv knew it was for pretend - but it was still not cool. She looked to her twin to see if Eliza agreed, but Eliza was all sleepy looking with her eyes half open and her head on Mama’s arm.</p><p>Liv huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. The man didn’t even kiss Mommy right. Not like Mama did. He was too tall and looked like he was squishing Mommy with his giant arms when he picked her up. Mama didn’t have to bend in half and she was much gentler with Mommy. Mama covered their eyes a couple of times and Liv kind of wished she would cover them for all the kissing parts. Instead she had to close her eyes herself so she wouldn’t see the man kissing Mommy.</p><p>When the show was over she stood up with Mama and clapped as loud as she could, waving when she saw Mommy looking at them. She smiled as wide as possible when Mommy blew them a kiss.</p><p>“That’s my Mommy,” she proudly told the lady standing next to her. The lady didn’t say anything and Liv didn’t think she heard her, but she didn’t mind, she just wanted to tell someone. She wanted to tell everyone how special both her moms were all the time.</p><p>Mama picked Eliza up and held her with one arm, because Eliza was being a baby and being sleepy. Liv rolled her eyes at her twin and took Mama’s other hand, trying to get her to hurry up so they could go see Mommy in her room. She wondered if maybe Mama would let her and Eliza have a big gold star on their door at home, just like Mommy. </p><p>When they finally made it backstage there were people all over, and Liv spotted the man who played pretend with Mommy and did all the kissing.</p><p>Still mad at him, Liv let go of Mama’s hand and marched right over to him, ignoring Mama’s call of her name. She wasn’t going to run away or anything, she just really needed to tell the man something.</p><p>“Hi there, cutie,” he said and knelt down with a big smile. Liv stopped in case he tried to hug her. When Uncle Ryan bent down like that it was so he could hug her and she didn’t want this man to. “You must be Rachel’s... you look just like her.”</p><p>Liv stared at him, remembering that Mommy told her to be ‘polite’ when people said nice things. Even if she didn’t like him, she didn’t want to let Mommy down, so she made herself say ‘thank you’.</p><p>“Did you like the show?” he asked nicely, and did that one eye blink thing that Mama did at Mommy all the time.</p><p>“Only my Mama is s’posed to kiss my Mommy,” Liv told him, crossing her arms back over her chest. “You do it wrong.”</p><p>The man looked confused, and his mouth kept opening and closing like the fish at the doctor’s office. Liv considered kicking him just to make sure he wouldn’t kiss her Mommy again, but Mama came up behind her and grabbed her shoulder, saying her name in the way that let Liv know she was in trouble.</p><p>“Sorry, Aaron,” Mama apologized. “She’s protective.”</p><p>Liv didn’t know what ‘protective’ meant, but if it meant keeping other people from kissing Mommy then she agreed. </p><p>“Olivia Anne Fabray, you mind your manners,” Mama ordered. </p><p>Sighing hard because Mama used her full name, Liv uncrossed her arms and held her hand out to the man Mama called Aaron. “Sorry. My name’s Olivia, but most peoples call me ‘Liv’ ‘cause it’s shorter. You sing almost as good as Mommy.”</p><p>“It’s nice to meet you, Liv. I’m Aaron,” he said and his smile came back but it wasn’t as big as before. “Your Mommy is amazing, and I’m sorry I kissed her wrong.”</p><p>“I know it’s for pretend,” Liv informed him, trying to do the eyebrow thing Mama did. Her face just scrunched up like usual instead. “Kissing is icky, but Mommy likes kissing Mama.”</p><p>“I’m sure she does,” Aaron said, doing the one eye blink again up at Mama. “Maybe next time you come to the show you can give me some pointers so I do it right?”</p><p>Liv frowned, not liking the idea of him kissing Mommy again, even if he did it the right way. Mama squeezed her shoulder though, and Liv knew that meant she should be nice. Instead of telling him he should just not kiss Mommy ever, she nodded.</p><p>Aaron stood back up and his knees made that popping noise that Uncle Ryan’s did. “Quinn, it’s always a pleasure.”</p><p>Mama grinned at him, “I’ll see you around, Aaron.”</p><p>He waved at Eliza, who hid in Mama’s shoulder and turned all pink, then walked away. Liv huffed again and looked up at Mama. </p><p>“You are so much like your Mommy it’s scary,” Mama said, one eyebrow going up.</p><p>Well that wasn’t a bad thing at all, so Liv smiled and bounced a little. “Can we see Mommy now?”</p><p>“Yup. Lead the way, Livvy.”</p><p>Pleased to be in charge, Liv took Mama’s hand again and pulled her towards the door with the big star. She wanted to reach up and open the door but remembered how much trouble she got in the last time she forgot to knock. Mommy had screeched really loud and yelled at Mama about forgetting to lock the door. Liv thought they were weird; she wasn’t allowed to be nakey unless it was bath time, and she definitely thought bath time in the afternoon was dumb. Why would her moms take baths in the middle of the day? Then she got in trouble for not knocking first and Mommy’s face had turned really red.</p><p>Liv shook her head and knocked on the door as loud as possible - just in case Mommy was nakey again.</p><p>“Just a second!”</p><p>“Mommy, hurry!” Liv shouted back, stamping her foot. She didn’t know why she did that sometimes, but it made her feel better. </p><p>“Livvy,” Mama said in that sort of laughing voice. “Patience, Monkey.”</p><p>Liv scowled - she hated that word. Patience meant she had to wait and she didn’t like to wait.</p><p>Mommy opened the door and Liv jumped at her, trying to wrap her arms all the way around and squeezing her tight. She liked the way Mommy smelled, better than flowers or pizza or anything in the world.</p><p>“Hello, little Monkey,” Mommy said and squeezed her back. “Did you like the show?”</p><p>“You sing bestest in the world,” Liv told her. “But I told the man he shouldn’t kiss you. I don’t like that part.”</p><p>Mommy looked over at Mama and her mouth did that funny sort of smile where only one side of her lips went up. “You did huh? And what did Aaron say?”</p><p>“He was nice about it,” Mama said, adjusting Eliza to hold her with both arms. Liv couldn’t believe her twin was asleep. “I have to say it’s not my favorite part either.”</p><p>“Aw, did you get jealous?” Mommy asked, and Liv just knew where this was going. Normally she would cover her eyes or tell them they were being gross, but she didn’t like the picture in her head of Aaron kissing Mommy so she didn’t say anything when Mommy kissed Mama. Though they were definitely pushing it with how long they kept kissing - sometimes Liv wondered if they would ever stop. When Mommy finally pulled back Liv smiled, because Mommy looked so happy and Mama was making a funny face. Then Mama bent down and whispered something in Mommy’s ear that made her turn kind of pink and bite her lip. She nodded slowly and kissed Mama’s cheek. “How’s my Peanut?”</p><p>Liv watched Mommy put her hand on Mama’s tummy and wondered if she could feel the baby. She hadn’t felt anything when she touched Mama’s tummy earlier, but maybe Mommy could. </p><p>“Good, but this one is worn out,” Mama said, bouncing Eliza a bit. Mommy made a cooing noise at Eliza and rubbed her back. Liv was pretty sure Eliza wasn’t faking for attention, especially when Mama passed her to Mommy and she barely opened her eyes.</p><p>What a baby.</p><p>“Oh, poor Bug,” Mommy said, cuddling Eliza. Liv frowned and pressed back into Mommy’s leg, putting both arms around it. She wanted cuddles, too.</p><p>“Mommy,” she whined, stretching the word out. Sometimes she got in trouble for ‘whining’ but neither of her moms said anything about it this time.</p><p>“You ready to go home, Superstar?” Mama asked. </p><p>Mommy nodded. “You want to meet me back home?”</p><p>“That’s probably best,” Mama replied and Liv frowned even more. She wanted to stay with Mommy!</p><p>“Why can’t we go together?” she demanded. </p><p>“Mommy is going to sign autographs,” Mama said and pet Liv’s head. </p><p>“I can go too!” Liv insisted, barely managing not to stomp her foot again.</p><p>“Not this time, Monkey, okay? Maybe when you’re a little older,” Mommy reasoned and put Eliza back in Mama’s arms.</p><p>“Why?” This time she did stamp her foot. </p><p>“Olivia,” Mama warned, and Liv sighed. That was the ‘You’re going to be in trouble’ voice again.</p><p>“There’s a lot of people, and it’s loud and they’re going to take pictures,” Mommy said, bendingt down so Liv could see her better. </p><p>Liv’s eyes got all watery again; she scrunched up her face and didn’t try to stop from crying. She wanted to go with Mommy! It wasn’t fair!</p><p>“Livvy, I swear on my signed Funny Girl playbill, I will take you out there with me someday if you still want to go. Just not tonight, okay? You’re tired, baby, and it could be awhile.”</p><p>Mommy looked sad and it made Liv feel bad. She couldn’t stop crying though and it was frustrating. Mama took her hand and Liv felt even worse as she was pulled away from Mommy.</p><p>“Mommy,” she whimpered, not even caring that she was being a baby now. </p><p>Mommy blew her another kiss and Mama tugged on her hand.</p><p>“Monkey, she’ll be home soon, okay? I promise we’ll wake you up when she gets home.”</p><p>Liv pouted hard, “I’m not sleepy!”</p><p>“Of course you’re not,” Mama said in that tone that Liv didn’t like. It meant she didn’t believe her. </p><p>“You said we could talk about the baby,” Liv accused, dragging her heels. “You promised.”</p><p>“I said ‘maybe’, Liv,” Mama sighed. “I promise that we can talk about it. We will talk about it, but we can do that in the morning, too. Would you like waffles for breakfast?”</p><p>Liv’s pout started to waver - waffles were her favorite. “Waffles?”</p><p>“Mhm,” Mama smiled and swung their hands back and forth. “How about that?”</p><p>“Okay, but promise?”</p><p>“I promise.”</p><p>By the time they made it back to Mama’s car Liv felt heavy all over. Her feet hurt and she was kind of cold. She leaned into Mama’s side and was more than happy to climb into her chair and buckle herself in. Mama had to put Eliza in her seat because she was sleeping; Liv had to stretch far to find Eliza’s hand but she grabbed it and pulled it over so she could hold it between them. </p><p>Mama put music on as the car started to move and Mommy’s voice sounded pretty as usual. Liv tried to keep her eyes open, and saw Mama watching her in the mirror. She didn’t want to sleep yet; she was awake, big girls could stay awake... but then her eyes fell shut and she couldn’t get them to open, and Mommy’s voice made her feel fuzzy and wonderful and...</p><p>---</p><p>Quinn smiled at the rearview mirror as she saw Olivia’s head droop and her eyes close. She sighed, turning the radio down a little. Rachel’s home recorded ‘lullaby CD’ was a godsend; it never failed to put the girls to sleep. She really hoped it would have the same effect on the baby when it arrived. </p><p>Keeping an eye on traffic, Quinn slid one hand off the steering wheel and cupped it against her stomach, cradling the little life growing there. They would have to talk to Liv and Eliza in the morning, as promised, but Quinn felt confident that they could assuage the fears Liv had expressed. She had thought that the girls were thrilled at the idea of being big sisters, and she really hoped that after talking with them again they would be excited and not quite so nervous.</p><p>The drive home was blessedly uneventful aside from the usual traffic, and the girls slept the entire ride back, hands still clasped together between them. Rachel’s voice continued to croon over the car’s speakers and Quinn had to turn it up once again when ‘Baby Mine’ came on. That one was her favorite; she loved when Rachel sang it to their ‘Peanut’. Rachel was adamant that the baby be exposed to music in the womb, as she had been with the twins, and especially to her voice in particular. </p><p>‘After all Quinn, he or she will know you but I wish for them to know me as well!’</p><p>Pulling into their garage, Quinn shut off the car and turned to regard her sleeping children. They were both still firmly lost in their dreams - even Liv who had protested being ‘sleepy’ - but Quinn knew that the second she went to move them one or both would wake up. </p><p>Sure enough, she unbuckled Eliza first and big brown eyes blinked open at her. </p><p>“Mama?”</p><p>“Yeah, Bug,” Quinn said, scooping up the limp little body. “We’re home.”</p><p>She had to move quickly, not wanting Liv to wake up in the garage by herself. Once inside the house she carefully lowered Eliza onto the couch and rushed back out to get Liv. </p><p>Thankfully, Liv was barely blinking her eyes open when Quinn returned. “Is Mommy home?”</p><p>“Not yet, love,” Quinn said softly, lifting Liv into her arms. Liv snuggled closer, grumbling under her breath. “She’ll be home soon.”</p><p>Back in the house Quinn looked down at Eliza sleeping peacefully on their couch and decided they could all sleep downstairs, at least until Rachel came home and could help her carry them to their room. She laid Liv down on the opposite end of the couch, pulling the blanket off the back to drape over them. Both girls squirmed for a moment, then stilled with synchronized sighs. </p><p>Quinn chewed on her lip, watching them sleep for a moment before crossing to her recliner and settling into the welcoming cushions. She looked over at Rachel’s grandfather clock and wondered when her wife might be gracing them with her presence. Watching the time tick by she found herself hypnotized by the gentle sound, thumb rubbing lazy circles against her stomach.</p><p>She didn’t even realize she’d fallen asleep until she heard the garage opening again and sat up, beaming groggily as Rachel tiptoed into the room seconds later. </p><p>“Hey,” Rachel whispered, peering over the back of the couch at the passed out twins. “I see all my babies are sleepy.”</p><p>“That didn’t take as long as I expected,” Quinn commented, checking the time again. </p><p>“I may have hurried,” Rachel explained, reaching down to stroke her palm down Liv’s back. </p><p>“Want to help me get them into bed?” Quinn asked, easing up onto her feet.</p><p>“Of course.” Rachel rounded the couch and stooped, easily lifting Liv and cuddling her close. “I was surprised to see you tonight.”</p><p>“Yeah, Liv may have mentioned some concerns about the baby and I thought seeing you might help,” Quinn said, hefting Eliza in her arms. “I promised we would talk to them in the morning.”</p><p>“Concerns?” Rachel asked, looking over her shoulder at Quinn as they started up the stairs. </p><p>“She was worried about my morning sickness, and afraid that we might like the baby more than them,” Quinn whispered back. She cradled Eliza’s head securely to her as she followed Rachel, fondly remembering how tiny Eliza had been what seemed not so long ago. </p><p>“I was wondering if they might have more questions,” Rachel murmured, awkwardly opening the door to the girls room and shuffling inside. “As an only child I fear I don’t know how it feels to know your parents are expecting.”</p><p>“I don’t either; I suppose I could call and ask my Mom tomorrow before they get up. She might have some advice,” Quinn suggested, depositing Eliza into her bed and tucking her in. “I told Liv we’d talk about it in the morning over waffles.”</p><p>“That sounds like an excellent plan,” Rachel approved, sitting gingerly next to Liv and bending to kiss her temple. “Livvy,” she cooed, “I’m home little Monkey.”</p><p>Liv opened her eyes briefly, frowning deeply at the interruption. “Mommy, I’m sleeping.”</p><p>“I know you are, I just wanted you to know that I’m home and I love you,” Rachel said, smiling as Liv nodded and burrowed deeper against her pillow. </p><p>“’Kay,” Liv huffed, dropping right back into slumber.</p><p>Quinn smirked and shook her head. Liv really was a miniature Rachel in all the best of ways. “Are you going to tuck me in now?”</p><p>Rachel stood up and pulled Quinn to her feet as well, leading her out of the room with a coy look. “Maybe later. I believe I have a request to fill first.”</p><p>Grinning widely, Quinn caught Rachel around the waist as they eagerly ventured down the hall towards their bedroom.</p><p>---</p><p>Thoroughly pleased with herself - and perhaps just all around pleased - Rachel sighed, tucking her rapidly chilling body in closer to Quinn with a small, smug grin. Quinn giggled lightly and stretched before rolling slightly with a groan, gently biting Rachel’s shoulder. </p><p>Rachel’s smirk only grew wider as she dropped a kiss to Quinn’s damp skin. “I take it that means I did a good job?”</p><p>Quinn nodded, giggling again, and squirmed closer even as she tried to tug Rachel more firmly against her. Rachel carefully edged in, giving Quinn the contact she was seeking and slipping her hand down to rest tenderly against Quinn’s lower abdomen. </p><p>Several comments swirled around in Rachel’s mind and she briefly considered each one - just to hear Quinn laugh again - but ultimately decided she’d rather just wallow in Quinn’s presence. Sometimes - a lot of the time - she found it was best just to enjoy moments with Quinn. No words necessary. </p><p>Quinn’s breathing evened out as her hand kept playing up and down Rachel’s spine, occasionally coming all the way up to smooth over Rachel’s hair. It was wonderful and hypnotizing, and Rachel was pretty sure she was going to fall asleep soon if Quinn kept it up.</p><p>“Mm, wait,” she murmured, reluctantly removing her hand from Quinn’s skin and reaching back to halt her mid-caress. “I need to brush my teeth.”</p><p>“You don’t need to,” Quinn argued, whining almost as petulantly as Olivia had earlier. </p><p>“Quinn, the last time I let you talk me into skipping at least a quick brush I had a nightmare about my teeth rotting and falling out of my mouth mid-performance,” Rachel reminded, already rolling over and whimpering at the immediate loss of heat. Shaking out her hair, she padded quickly over to the bathroom only to pause on the threshold, eyeing the tile floor with distaste. There was no avoiding it, and she wasn’t about to go put socks on just to walk into the bathroom... not with Quinn watching, anyway. Grumbling to herself about frostbite, she set her shoulders and winced at that first step, trying to ignore Quinn’s laughter.</p><p>Despite her dedication to good oral hygiene, Rachel rushed through the process as much as she could, eager to return to her bed and get away from the damn lights that were blinding her. She smiled at her reflection - just to make sure that her teeth were not rotting and about to fall out of her head - and nodded to herself, pleased to find her smile as white as ever. </p><p>Rachel flicked off the lights and leapt off the cold floor back onto soft carpet, fully expecting to hear more laughter when she stuck the landing like an Olympic gymnast. A very naked Olympic gymnast, but surely Quinn would appreciate the joke even more because of that. However once Rachel’s eyes adjusted to the dark again she saw that Quinn was lying very still, both hands cupping her stomach. Unable to see her face Rachel could only guess that Quinn was still awake, mostly because she felt eyes looking at her. “Quinn?”</p><p>No response.</p><p>Hurrying back to the bed, Rachel lowered herself back onto the mattress and yanked the sheet up from where it’d been shoved at the foot of the bed. Quinn still didn’t move, not even to snuggle closer or lift the sheet up higher, and now Rachel had a better view - she could see that Quinn was definitely awake and very focused on her own hands. </p><p>It didn’t take Rachel long to figure out what was on Quinn’s mind. They’d discussed Beth at length when Quinn first brought up wanting another child, especially with wanting to be the one to carry it. Rachel had been shocked at first, but Quinn wanted it so badly that Rachel had readily agreed. She hadn’t ever mentioned it to Quinn, but she’d been dreaming of having a hazel eyed, blond haired baby for awhile.</p><p>When the doctor first confirmed the pregnancy, Quinn had cried, which wasn’t strange - Rachel had cried, too. Just as they both had when their doctor told them they were pregnant with the twins. But there was more to it with Quinn. There was always more to it with Quinn. So many memories, a lot of them painful, that she’d done her best to make peace with had risen back up, and it killed Rachel a little because she didn’t know what to say. </p><p>What could she possibly say? She had no desire, whatsoever, to further dredge up the past - not unless Quinn wanted to talk about it. They had discussed Beth, yes, but not Quinn getting kicked out of her home, or anything really dealing with being a pregnant teenager who lost everything but gained a child, only to give that child up.</p><p>Rachel couldn’t imagine. The very idea of giving up Eliza and Olivia stole the breath from her lungs. It was a deeply profound loss and she had no idea how Quinn had found the strength to do it. </p><p>As much as Rachel liked to solve things with words, this was just something she had no words for. So instead of trying to coax Quinn into talking about it she opted for another form of communication.  A clearer one.</p><p>Nestling in as close as physically possible, she slipped one hand under Quinn’s and rubbed her thumb back and forth. Quinn sucked in a deep breath at the contact and turned her head, bumping her temple against Rachel’s forehead.</p><p>When Rachel pulled back slightly to press a kiss to Quinn’s cheek, she found the skin wet and it broke her heart all over again. </p><p>“Turn over,” she whispered, nuzzling against that tear streaked cheek for a second before Quinn complied. She wasted no time, easily sliding both arms loosely around Quinn’s midriff and settled into the ‘big spoon’ position for the rest of the night. Quinn didn’t sniffle, or sob; there were no outward signs that she was still crying at all. She simply held on to Rachel’s wrist with one hand and reached back to tangle her other in the ends Rachel’s hair. </p><p>Clearing her throat lightly Rachel started to very quietly sing ‘Baby Mine’, knowing it was Quinn’s favorite. </p><p>Quinn shuffled back deeper into Rachel, moving their hands down to where their child was growing. It was a simple and now familiar gesture - one that let Rachel know that Quinn understood that Rachel wasn’t just singing to the baby. Neither said word; it wasn’t necessary. Rachel knew just from the way she settled against her that Quinn appreciated the sweetly crooned offering, and Rachel felt her fall asleep soon after, all the tension leaving her with one long exhale.</p><p>Still, Rachel finished the song before dipping her head to kiss Quinn’s neck. Dropping her head onto her pillow, she buried her nose in strands of blonde hair and drifted off, holding both Quinn and the baby close.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Home Alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a busy night for Quinn and Rachel. Award season was upon them and Rachel was up for another Tony; the busy event was the perfect opportunity for them to actually get a night for just the two of them - those nights had become so rare recently that it seemed like a godsend. It was more than a perfect night out what with all the pampering that went into getting ready for an award show. Make-up and gowns and hair stylists, it was chaos but it was glorious chaos. They were both giddy, laughing and flirting, and more than ready for a break.</p><p> There was only one small problem...</p><p>Their housekeeper/nanny, the lovely Anna, had gone back home for a family emergency, leaving them without a sitter. Although Rachel had casually mentioned that they could hire their next door neighbor’s teenage daughter to look after the kids, Quinn had balked and argued that the twins were old enough to watch their brother and keep themselves out of trouble for a few hours. After all, she’d been left at home younger than they and had been fine. As unsure as Rachel was she finally agreed, so long as they called multiple times to check in and alerted the neighbors that they were going to be out. In the end, they left the girls with a list of emergency numbers and explicit instructions that were repeated back to them even as Quinn ushered Rachel out the door.</p><p>Olivia loved it - the freedom, the thrilling feel of being in charge of herself with no grown ups around. She had no plans of disobeying her mothers, just reveling in her independence for a little while. It was nice to have her mothers finally acknowledge that she was mature enough to look after herself (and her siblings). She also knew if anything stupid happened while they were home by themselves Mom would never want to leave them alone again. </p><p>“Ellie!” she bellowed from behind the refrigerator door. “Ellie!”</p><p>“Ollie, I’m behind you. You don’t need to shout,” Eliza sighed, glaring at her twin from over the pages of her book as she entered the kitchen. “What are you doing?”</p><p>“Mama said we could have the strawberries. I want some.”</p><p>Eliza nodded, abandoning her book completely to wander to Olivia’s side. “That sounds awesome, but that meant you had to yell at me?”</p><p>“Yep,” Olivia hummed, giving a triumphant cry when she found the container of precious fruit hidden in the depths of the fridge. “Too bad Caleb’s allergic,” she garbled, mouth full of berry. A small rebellion on her part - she could just hear her mothers scolding her about talking with her mouthful, but they weren’t there.</p><p>“Where is he, anyway?” Eliza asked with a frown, looking around them in confusion. He was usually right underfoot and demanding to be included in whatever they were doing. So annoying.</p><p>“No idea,” Liv replied, distracting Eliza by offering her a berry.</p><p>“Ollie!” Eliza scolded, stomping her foot. “We’re supposed to be watching him! Mama only left us here by ourselves because we said we’d watch him.”</p><p>“I thought you were watching him,” Liv accused with a roll of her eyes. Go figure it would be their little brother who would ruin their parent-free environment. </p><p>“Oh no, what if he fell down the stairs or went out the front door!” Eliza threw her hands up in the air, thoughts of everything Caleb could have gotten into running through her head. Liv may have been loving being home alone, but Eliza felt frustrated more than anything. She really did love Caleb, but he was a troublemaker and Liv clearly had no intention of keeping an eye on him which meant she was probably not going to get to finish her book.</p><p>Liv sighed and put the container back, “You sound like Mom, spaz.”</p><p>“It’s not funny! Did you even see the look on her face when Mama said we could watch him because Anna’s not here?”</p><p>Fighting back the urge to roll her eyes again, Liv nodded shortly. She definitely had noticed the way their Mom had been chewing on her lip, and she hadn’t missed all the repeated orders either. But that was their Mom - she was always like that - worrying about them all the time. Really, Liv didn’t think it was that big a deal. Caleb was too short to get into anything really ‘dangerous’ anyway. “He’s probably playing in his room,” Liv said, taking Eliza’s hand. “Come on, we’ll go find him.”</p><p>Eliza trailed after Olivia with a groan, already thinking of the trouble they were going to get into. Their parents were going to kill them, she just knew it.</p><p>They didn’t have to go far, and both gasped when they caught sight of their little brother - halfway up the DVD shelves stretching to try and get to the top.</p><p>“Caleb!” Eliza yelped, dropping Olivia’s hand as she rushed forward to attempt to remove him or hold him up or something. “What are you doing?”</p><p>“I want the dinosaur movie,” he sniffed, shaking his foot to get her to release him. “Le’ go, I almost got it.”</p><p>“We’re not supposed to watch that movie,” Olivia reminded him, arms crossed over her chest. “That’s why it’s on the top shelf.”</p><p>“Mommy’s not here and I want to,” Caleb replied, closing his small fist over the desired case. He started to crawl back down, losing his balance along the way. “Uh-oh!”</p><p>Eliza squealed when his compact body slammed down into hers, knocking her flat and stunning her as her head bounced on the floor.</p><p>“Crap,” Olivia said and dashed forward to help him off Eliza’s stomach. She watched worriedly as her twin wheezed on the floor. “Ellie?”</p><p>“Can’t - breathe,” Eliza panted.</p><p>“Sorry, sissy,” Caleb said, bending to pat her head. </p><p>“You’re like a bowling ball, stooge,” Olivia told him and shoved him away.</p><p>Sitting up, one hand against her chest, Eliza glared at both of them. “You both suck.”</p><p>“I’m telling Mama!” Caleb yelped, pointing his finger at a red faced Eliza.</p><p>Olivia rolled her eyes and quickly snatched the Jurassic Park DVD away from him. “You tell and we won’t watch the movie.”</p><p>“Ollie, no,” Eliza whined, rolling over to her knees. “We’ll get in trouble.”</p><p>“They aren’t going to be home until later,” Liv reminded her, holding the DVD up over her head as Caleb jumped to try and reclaim it. “Remember? They’re at that award thing until late and said we could stay up.” She grinned at her pouting brother. “Except you have to go to bed.”</p><p>“No,” Caleb huffed. “I want to wait for Mommy.”</p><p>“You can stay up and watch the dinosaurs but then you have to go to bed and not tell.”</p><p>“This is a bad idea,” Eliza moaned, un-happily watching Olivia put the disc into the player. “Such a bad idea.”</p><p>Soon enough the movie was going and all protests were gone from Eliza’s mind as she cuddled up to Caleb who was sandwiched between her and Olivia. All three of them had wide eyes within the first half hour. When the T-Rex broke out of the paddock Caleb twisted and was practically in Eliza’s lap, and for once she didn’t mind or bother with pushing him away. Instead she hugged him tightly as they both squeaked in terror.</p><p>“Nooo,” Caleb whined as the T-Rex ate the guy sitting in the bathroom. “Bad dinosaur!”</p><p>“This is awesome,” Liv breathed, turning to see if Eliza agreed and finding her twin with one hand over her eyes and the other over Caleb’s. “It’s not scary!”</p><p>“Bad dinosaur,” Caleb repeated, shuddering as the screaming on the TV got louder. “I want Mommy!”</p><p>“Ollie, turn it off,” Eliza pleaded from behind her hand.</p><p>“Don’t be babies,” Liv grumped and turned the volume up instead. “So cool.”</p><p>---</p><p>Despite the offered limo, Quinn and Rachel chose to drive their own vehicle into the city to be picked up at a hotel. Quinn felt safer being in their own car, not one to take chances after all the various dangerous situations they’d been in over the years. Rachel hadn’t argued, but joked about Quinn being some sort of undercover bodyguard, ‘like some Bond femme fatale.’</p><p>Now on their way home, instead of crowing about her victory the entire trip as Quinn had expected, Rachel - with her shiny new Tony in her arms - kept wondering out loud about how the kids had done home alone.</p><p>“I can’t believe I let you talk me into it,” Rachel said. “I almost forgot my speech because I kept picturing the kids sitting on the porch locked out of the house.”</p><p>Quinn sighed and reached over to soothingly run her fingers down Rachel’s arm. “They’re fine. You called them six times...”</p><p>“Why couldn’t Ryan and Allison watch them?”</p><p>“Like I told you, I was not going to call and ask them to babysit on Ryan’s first night off in forever. They deserve some happy couple time too.”</p><p>Rachel ‘hmphed’, but grinned weakly over at her wife. “I just worry.”</p><p>“You’re a mother, it comes with the territory.”</p><p>“It was... nice, to get to go out with you like this.” </p><p>Quinn hummed and nodded, “It feels like it’s been ages. Have I mentioned how amazing you look in that dress?”</p><p>“Only once or twice,” Rachel giggled, flashing Quinn a smoldering look complete with a coy little smile. “It’s going to look even better on the bedroom floor.”</p><p>“I love you,” Quinn husked out. “God, I just love you, my Tony award winning vixen. When you walked out in that dress I swear I forgot my name.”</p><p>“You wait until I’m through with you - the only words you’re going to know are ‘I love you’ and ‘Rachel’.”</p><p>“Is that a fact?” Quinn asked, eyebrow arched in playful challenge.</p><p>“You look pretty spectacular yourself you know. You look so good,” Rachel all but purred, leaning over the center console to teasingly run her fingers up Quinn’s thigh. “People couldn’t take their eyes off you,” she said directly against Quinn’s ear before lightly biting down on the lobe. “I got a little jealous.”</p><p>“I’m all yours,” Quinn replied, briefly turning her eyes away from the road. “Completely. Always.”</p><p>“Drive faster, Quinn,” Rachel urged and forced herself away after one kiss to Quinn’s neck. She even went so far as to sit on her hands.</p><p>Of course the second they pulled into the driveway she dropped all thoughts of controlling herself along with thoughts of her Tony, unbuckled her seatbelt, and threw herself at her wife. Quinn eagerly met her halfway, hands cradling her face, and crashed their mouths together. They’d been so busy, tangled up in being parents and working, that it had been awhile since Rachel had gotten to taste the raw passion she felt in every hard kiss she traded with Quinn. She wanted nothing more than to get lost in it, drown in it. Her hands pulled hard at Quinn’s neck, trying to pull her closer or haul herself over the center console. She needed more contact, craved it. It wasn’t until her knee bashed into the steering wheel that she realized that they probably should stop - for now. Rachel nipped Quinn’s bottom lip, pulling back when Quinn hissed in response.</p><p>Quinn panted as she set her forehead against Rachel’s, both working to catch their breath. “I wanted to do this so badly when you won. It took every ounce of willpower I had to keep from storming that stage, romance movie style.”</p><p>“Some - something tells me the censors wouldn’t have appreciated that,” Rachel huffed and kissed Quinn again, softly this time. “Can we please go inside?”</p><p>Quinn grinned widely, “Race you.”</p><p>“First one naked gets to be on top,” Rachel said, quickly departing the vehicle with a protesting Quinn hot on her heels. They crashed into the front door together, Rachel fumbling with her keys and giggling as Quinn attacked her neck and shoulders. “Shhhh, you’re going to wake the munchkins.”</p><p>“I’m not the loud one and how dare you call them munchkins,” Quinn shot back, returning to her previous business. </p><p>Rachel paused, hand on the doorknob, and turned to stare up at Quinn. “What if they’re still awake?”</p><p>“They won’t be for much longer,” Quinn growled, and put her hand on top of Rachel’s. She twisted and pushed and they spilled into the entryway. Both froze immediately, wide eyes scanning for children. “See, they went to bed.”</p><p>Freeing herself from Quinn’s arms Rachel snuck up on the couch and peeked over the back. No kids. “I don’t believe it.”</p><p>“Told you,” Quinn said, inching her way towards the staircase. “You’re going to lose,” she sing-songed as she darted up the steps.</p><p>“Shit,” Rachel hissed, kicking off her heels and hiking up her dress before giving chase. She hesitated at the top of the stairs, casting a longing glance towards her bedroom door before sighing heavily and instead heading towards the twins’ room. It was a bit of a surprise to find them both curled together in one bed, but she dismissed the oddness for how adorable it was. If she didn’t think the flash was going to wake them she would have taken a picture. “Cute babies,” she cooed, closing the door. She headed for Caleb’s door next, finding him balled up in the middle of his bed with Bebo and his blanket... and all the lights still on. Shaking her head she tiptoed further into his room and turned them off, except for the adorable dinosaur night-light. Unable to resist, she smoothed his hair back from his forehead and bent to kiss his temple.</p><p>“You checked on them, didn’t you,” Quinn teased as Rachel slipped into their room.</p><p>“Of course I did,” Rachel sighed and planted her hands on her hips. “You’re not naked.”</p><p>Quinn fidgeted, fingers tangled against her stomach. “I wanted you to win. It’s your special night.”</p><p>“Oh really?” Rachel smirked. </p><p>“And I figured it would take you awhile to get your hair undone.”</p><p>“There are a lot of hair pins,” Rachel agreed, but sauntered up to Quinn. “How about you take them out for me?” Tilting her head back she kissed Quinn quickly, then leaned back, forcing Quinn to chase her mouth. She reached down and brought both of Quinn’s hands up, setting them against the back of her head.</p><p>Catching on, Quinn started to pull pins free as she caught Rachel’s lips again and again. Rachel whimpered and sank deeper into the embrace, palms sliding over pale shoulders and then to Quinn’s back, deft fingers finding a zipper and tugging.</p><p>“You left your award in the car,” Quinn said in between kisses, playing with the loose strands of rich, dark hair as it came free. </p><p>“Don’t care,” Rachel responded, backing away just enough to pull the elegant red gown down Quinn’s body. It hit the floor and Rachel’s breath caught in her throat. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”</p><p>“I’m more than that,” Quinn whispered, blushing as she stepped out of the pool of fabric while Rachel stuck her hands into her hair and shook it out.</p><p>“Yeah, you are,” Rachel said, happy to hear her words repeated. “You always have been.”</p><p>“There’s still some pins left,” Quinn warned.</p><p>“Again, don’t care,” Rachel whispered and stalked towards Quinn, herding her back until she dropped onto the bed. Quinn bit her lip as Rachel winked at her and slowly, oh so slowly, unzipped her dress and shimmied out of it. Freed of encumbrance Rachel pounced on Quinn, planting her knees on either side of her wife’s hips. “I love you,” she proclaimed.</p><p>With a smile Quinn wrapped her hand around the back of Rachel’s neck and yanked her down, both groaning at the renewed contact. “I love you, too.”</p><p>Quinn leaned back and dragged Rachel down with her, amused by the huff of displeasure her wife made when the movement forced them to break their kiss. She pressed her palms down into the soft mattress and started to slide backwards, grinning widely as Rachel followed, crawling along on her hands and knees towards the headboard.</p><p>Rachel’s hand was just starting to make its way down Quinn’s writhing body when a loud ‘bang’ startled them out of their sex stupor. She rolled away and Quinn slapped her hand against the nightstand, searching for her pistol out of habit when a small voice cried out.</p><p>“Mommy!”</p><p>“Caleb?” Rachel asked, shoving her hair out of her face.</p><p>Groaning, Quinn sat up and rubbed at her mouth. “Rachel.”</p><p>“Clothes,” Rachel sighed, closed her eyes, and knocked her head back on her pillow with a whimper. “Right.”</p><p>They leapt into action, scrambling over to the dresser in tandem to find pajamas.</p><p>“Hey,” Quinn said, cupping Rachel’s chin and pulling her in for a chaste kiss. “Sorry.”</p><p>“Me too.”</p><p>“Mommy!” Caleb wailed again.</p><p>Quinn accepted the clothing Rachel thrust at her and escaped into the bathroom while Rachel tugged a shirt over her head and lunged for the door. Feeling something off with her wardrobe, she looked down and realized she’d put her shorts on backwards. Rolling her eyes at herself, Rachel took a deep breath before unlocking and opening the door. She was greeted by huge, teary, hazel eyes and trembling lips. Caleb didn’t hesitate, dropping Bebo to reach up with both arms.</p><p>“Peanut, what’s the matter?” Rachel asked, any semblance of aggravation leaving her at his expression.</p><p>“Dinosaurs!” he cried, making grabby hands at her. “I don’t wanna be eated!”</p><p>Rachel frowned but quickly scooped him up, gagging slightly when he wound her arms tightly around her neck. He stuck his sticky, tear-streaked face right against her neck and continued to sob as she shushed him and rubbed at his shaking back. “Baby, no dinosaurs are going to eat you.”</p><p>“What’s the matter?” Quinn asked, stepping out of the bathroom.</p><p>“He had a nightmare,” Rachel explained, turning towards her with a sad half-smile.</p><p>“Mama,” Caleb hiccuped, almost making Rachel drop him when he wrenched his entire body in Quinn’s direction.</p><p>“It’s okay, Caleb,” Quinn soothed, taking him from Rachel’s arms and kissing the top of his head. “It’s okay.”</p><p>“Can I stay with you?” he asked, fisting a lock of Rachel’s hair to keep her close as he snuggled into Quinn.</p><p>Rachel met Quinn’s eyes and nodded, carefully untangling his hand from her hair she moved over to the bed and pulled the blankets back. Quinn followed closely, sitting down and swinging her legs up onto the bed with a grunt. </p><p>“Bad dinosaurs,” Caleb murmured, eyelids drooping as he sniffled. “Mama shoot them?”</p><p>Quinn shot Rachel a questioning glance and Rachel could only shrug, equally baffled by their son’s query.</p><p>“There are no dinosaurs, honey,” Rachel said, pulling the blankets back up and crawling over to her side. Quinn rolled over and deposited an already sleepily limp Caleb between them. Rachel scooted closer and wrapped her arm around his little body. “They’re all gone - just bones left now, remember? Like at the museum.”</p><p>“No,” he whined. “The - the man brought them back to life and they eated the people.”</p><p>Rachel narrowed her eyes, an idea forming in her head as to where he might have gotten this information. </p><p>“Peanut, did you watch Jurassic Park?” Quinn asked, eyebrow climbing towards her hairline as she ran her fingers through his messy hair.</p><p>He stilled and at first Rachel thought he’d fallen asleep, but then he spoke again in a childish whisper. “I wanted to see dinosaurs.”</p><p>Quinn pursed her lips and avoided the glare Rachel sent her way. “Caleb, we told you not to watch that one until you were older... how did you get it down?”</p><p>“I climbed the thing,” he murmured and rolled to nuzzle against Rachel’s chest.</p><p>“You...” Rachel groaned, envisioning the heavy bookshelf toppling onto their son and shuddering. “Caleb Andrew Fabray.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, already nearly asleep.</p><p>“Don’t do that ever again, okay?” Quinn shook her head and reached across him, slipping her hand under Rachel’s shirt to rest a palm against the small of her back. “Promise me.”</p><p>“Promise.” His voice tapered off and when Rachel craned her neck to check on him his eyes were closed.</p><p>“They’ll be fine on their own, Rachel. There’s nothing to worry about, the girls are old enough,” Rachel mocked, closing her own eyes wearily.</p><p>“Rachel...” Quinn groaned. “I don’t want to fight... can we just go to sleep?”</p><p>“Fine, but you’re dealing with this in the morning.”</p><p>Quinn swallowed and inched her way closer until Caleb’s back was against her. “Rachel, I’m really sorry. I know this wasn’t how either of us wanted the night to end. I thought they would be fine.”</p><p>“No, I just - ugh,” Rachel groaned, fingers threading through Caleb’s hair. “It’s kind of been awhile. I wanted a night for us. Which of course makes me feel like the worst parent in the world.”</p><p>“You are not a bad parent; we are not bad parents. We just need to find some time for ourselves. Maybe a weekend away?”</p><p>Rachel’s eyes went wide, brain already swirling around with ideas. “Oh! They could stay with Cam?”</p><p>“Mhm, my thoughts exactly.”</p><p>“I love when you scheme,” Rachel whispered. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.”</p><p>“It’s alright. I’m frustrated, too,” Quinn whispered back. “I know it’s not exactly the way either of us wanted, but... congratulations on your award.”</p><p>Shaking her head, Rachel tapped her fingers on Quinn’s cheek. “Quinn.”</p><p>“I wanted tonight to be special. I’m sorry I was selfish; you were right - we should have gotten a sitter.”</p><p>“Baby,” Rachel said, thumb running over Quinn’s bottom lip. “It was special - I loved having you with me. If anyone was selfish it was me. We could have stayed home.”</p><p>Caleb squirmed between them, mumbling about dinosaurs and Mommy. They both froze, eyes meeting over his head and barely daring to breathe until he settled once again. </p><p>“I feel I should point out that our plans rarely work out,” Quinn said.</p><p>“Nobody was shot or abducted - I’d call that a success,” Rachel joked. “Dinosaurs are a little new, but I think we can take ‘em. In fact, considering our previous ‘adventures’, I think I prefer dinosaurs.”</p><p>Quinn snorted, twisting over to turn off the lamp. “Dinosaurs. I’m moving all of those movies tomorrow. Imagine if he’d wanted to see sharks?”</p><p>Rachel winced, “I don’t even know why we have that movie.”</p><p>“It’s a good movie,” Quinn argued. “Classic. You love classics.”</p><p>“Quinn, The Wizard of Oz is a classic. Gone With the Wind is a classic. Jaws is terrifying.”</p><p>“Please, Eliza was upset for weeks after The Wizard of Oz. She hates monkeys now.”</p><p>“I see your point,” Rachel conceded and weaved her cold feet with Quinn’s ankles, smirking when her wife hissed at the sensation. “But you have to agree that your horror movie collection should probably be moved elsewhere, out of reach of our daredevil son.”</p><p>“I’ll bring them all up here,” Quinn said. “Which is better anyway... then we can watch them from the bed which has more blankets for you to hide under.”</p><p>“I know you can’t see me, but I want you to know that I’m glaring at you right now,” Rachel sniffed, glowering over at Quinn’s outline.</p><p>Quinn sighed into the silence and smoothed her palm up and down Rachel’s back, thinking back on the award ceremony and the brief look of shock that had graced Rachel’s features when they announced her as the winner. “I’m really proud of you,” she said. “So proud.”</p><p>“I meant what I said...” Rachel paused, working through her thoughts. “In my acceptance speech, I mean. I couldn’t have done this without you.”</p><p>“Yes, you could,” Quinn smiled crookedly. “You were always going to be great - with or without me.”</p><p>Rachel adamantly shook her head, “No, no Quinn. You push me to excel, you believe in me, and you temper me at the same time. You keep me grounded. I have no idea how I could do the things I’ve done without you with me.”</p><p>Quinn sighed and screwed her eyes shut. “You are amazing, Rachel, you always have been. You always will be. These are your dreams you’re achieving - the dreams you’ve been chasing since I’ve known you. Nobody made it happen for you. You did this.”</p><p>Sniffling back tears, Rachel ducked and kissed the top of Caleb’s head. “What I meant was that being with you has changed me, changed those dreams. I still want my EGOT but it’s not what I want more than anything anymore. You and our kids... that’s so much better than any award on the mantel. The things that I want now - there’s so much more than the Oscar.” She turned her face into her pillow and huffed a short laugh. “Though I really want that Oscar.”</p><p>“You’re going to get it,” Quinn said firmly. “You are.”</p><p>“I know, but it’s going to mean more to me because I know you’re going to be behind me - beside me - every step of the way to getting it.”</p><p>Quinn leaned over, kissing Caleb’s cheek and then Rachel’s. “Of course I will be.”</p><p>“Anna’s taking the kids to the zoo tomorrow,” Rachel said, “and you and I are going to pick up where we were before dinosaurs interrupted us.”</p><p>“I’ll hold you to that.”</p><p>“Please do.”</p><p>Rachel lazily smoothed her hand over Quinn’s hair, stopping only after Quinn fell asleep, Caleb still nestled between them. She closed her own eyes, and giggled quietly to herself. “Dinosaurs.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Timing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Several things about Quinn had changed over the years, things that she fully acknowledged and mostly accepted. There was, however, one thing that hadn’t changed, and she was certain it would actually get worse in the coming years.</p><p>Quinn Fabray was not a morning person.</p><p>She loathed the sound of her alarm, absolutely detesting having to pull back warm blankets and leave the comfort of her bed. The morning shower did nothing to help with this, and even coffee only dulled her hatred of being forced back into wakefulness. Having Rachel in her life had made it that much worse; now when she woke up it meant leaving the bed and Rachel. </p><p>Rachel who bounded out of bed with a song on her tongue and a smile that put the damned sun to shame.</p><p>Recently though, that had changed, and Quinn was torn between feeling somewhat smug about the whole thing (after all the grief Rachel gave her about being a ‘Grumpy McGrumperstein’) and pitying Rachel for her discovery of just how shitty mornings actually were. Ultimately she valued her life above getting a chance to tease Rachel, so she kept her comments to herself and did her best to help ease Rachel into the mornings she used to love. It was hit or miss most days – some mornings Rachel was weepy and needed a few minutes of cuddling – others she woke up furious, snarling like a tiger. Quinn had learned a whole new level of respect for her wife, because that Rachel was more terrifying than Quinn had ever been.</p><p>There was no knowing what she’d wake to, but mornings had become hazardous as well as awful in Quinn’s book. </p><p>Quinn growled as her alarm went off signaling the beginning of a new day. As she started to turn over to silence the stupid thing, Rachel suddenly erupted out of the blankets with a fearsome snarl, throwing herself over Quinn as best she could to snag the phone by the cord, ripping it from the wall and hurling it into the laundry hamper.</p><p>This did not turn off the alarm, though it was now somewhat muffled, and Rachel appeared to be seconds away from turning into a green rage monster or bursting into hysterical tears.</p><p>“Rachel?” Quinn squeaked, blankets up to her nose. “Rach?”</p><p>“I just want to sleep!” Rachel shrieked. “For the love of – shut up!”</p><p>For the first time in… ever, Quinn was actually grateful that she had to get up. It wasn’t going to take long for Rachel to realize that the alarm was all her fault, and when she did the consequences could be dire. Just as she was attempting to slide out from under her wife to slip into the bathroom, those very angry brown eyes caught hers, freezing her in place.</p><p>Swallowing hard, Quinn timidly pulled the blanket down so Rachel could see the very tentative smile on her face. “Hi?”</p><p>“Don’t you ‘hi’ me, Quinn,” Rachel snapped and pointed a finger towards the ringing hamper. “Get out of my bed.”</p><p>Quinn did as ordered without complaint, digging her phone out of the hamper, silencing it and then darting in to the relative safety of the bathroom.</p><p>Unfortunately, she couldn’t stay in there all day - eventually she would have to leave to be at work, but that meant going back into the bedroom. There really wasn’t a stealthy way to take a shower, so she tried her best to hurry, just in case the sound of the spray was annoying her... prickly, darling wife. And she didn’t dare  turn on the blow dryer, so her hair was sticking against her neck and dripping everywhere; Quinn knew Rachel was going to be pissed (again) if she got water on the floor. If Rachel had gone back to sleep there was a chance she could get out unscathed, but only if she was really stealthy. With that in mind, she threw her hair up into the towel, eased the door open, and slipped out into the cool bedroom.</p><p>There wasn’t even a chance to try and sneak into the closet; Rachel was sitting up in the bed, staring at the bathroom door with the most heartbroken expression Quinn had seen on her yet.</p><p>Partly baffled, mostly terrified, and completely naked, Quinn stood very still and wondered if she should just close the door and try again later.</p><p>Rachel didn’t give her the chance to come up with a better plan.  Instead, she promptly burst into tears and held her hands out.</p><p>“Rach?” Quinn asked, carefully inching forward just a bit. Crying Rachel always lured her in; she couldn’t stand it, something inside her always shattered at the sight of Rachel’s tears. </p><p>“I’m so sorry,” Rachel cried, flexing her fingers in the standard ‘gimme/come here’ motion. </p><p>Normally Quinn would ask ‘Are you okay?’ in moments like these, but she’d learned early on in Rachel’s pregnancy that that question was unacceptable and would be met with hostile answers such as: “Do I fucking look okay?” or “I’m the size of a small planet, how do you think I am?” or (Quinn’s favorite) “Fuck. You.”</p><p>So instead of that trap of a question, she opted for the hopefully completely safe question, “What for?”</p><p>“I was so mean to you. Please come here,” Rachel said, sniffling mightily and clearly distraught that she might have hurt Quinn’s feelings.</p><p>Still cautious, but hopeful, Quinn stepped the rest of the way to the bed. Rachel immediately hugged her close, nearly toppling her over with the strength of it, and laid her head down on Quinn’s stomach. Quinn dipped a hand into Rachel’s hair and started long, soothing strokes through it. “I love you,” she said simply. </p><p>“I love you, too,” Rachel gasped, like Quinn had said it questioningly. “I do, so much and I’m sorry! I’m just so tired and I want them out of me.”</p><p>Quinn didn’t dare mention the fact that they were likely to get even less sleep once the babies made their grand entrance, wisely opting to continue silently comforting a still weepy Rachel. </p><p>One thing at a time.</p><p> </p><p>---</p><p>Once Rachel had calmed down - and it took awhile - she told Quinn she was going to make breakfast. Quinn tried to protest, stating that Rachel didn’t need to do that and she would just grab something later, but Rachel was adamant that she make up for being so ‘horrible’ to Quinn first thing in the morning. </p><p>“It sets the whole tone of the day,” Rachel continued to explain as she dragged Quinn into their kitchen and sat her down on the nearest stool. It didn’t seem to bother Rachel in the slightest that Quinn was still naked at this point, only a towel wrapped turban style around her head.</p><p>Quinn lightly cleared her throat and looked down at herself, feeling like quite the chilly exhibitionist. “Rachel, maybe I could finish getting ready for work?”</p><p>“You don’t want to spend time with me?” Rachel fired back, a thankfully playful pout on her lips. </p><p>“I want to spend every hour of every day with you,” Quinn gushed, hiding a wince at how goddamn sappy that was. Rachel loved it though, if her expression was any indication. “I am kind of cold though.” She gestured at the goosebumps that had erupted all over her fair skin and raised an eyebrow.</p><p>Rachel licked at her lips and took her sweet time examining Quinn before she nodded and turned back to the stove. “I suppose if you have to cover up… but before you go could you get the frying pans out for me?”</p><p>“Of course,” Quinn agreed, leaping to the task. Kneeling down to dig out said frying pans put her right at belly level with Rachel, and she made sure to take a moment and greet the twins. “You guys ready to move yet? We’ve got your new home all ready for you.”</p><p>Standing back up after two soft kisses to Rachel’s stomach - one for each baby - she delivered one to Rachel’s forehead as well. She had to take care of all her girls, after all. </p><p>“Hurry back to me,” Rachel commanded, swatting at Quinn’s backside. </p><p>Quinn sighed and shook her head as she traipsed back down the hall to their bedroom. Rachel may have been crazier than normal, but Quinn still loved her desperately, mood swings and all. When she returned to the kitchen - clothed, hair done, and ready for work - Rachel was setting plates out on the island. One of which was very obviously meant for her with heaps of eggs and bacon and toast.</p><p>“Are those… cheesy eggs?” Quinn asked, halting just inside the hallway with wide eyes. It was rare enough that Rachel would actually cook without burning something and setting off the fire alarm,  but to make eggs… that was something incredibly special. Quinn had to hide the carton in the back of the fridge because it broke Rachel’s heart, brought back bad memories, and almost always led to a long winded, teary rant about chicken babies. Since being pregnant had only made her more sensitive to baby anything... the eggs were surprising.  Rachel was so sensitive that Quinn had considered putting some sort of parental lock on all nature shows, because heaven forbid if Rachel watched something wherein some furry baby animal died. She already had Jeepers to contend with after the ‘Animal Cops’ incident, not to mention the unfortunate time that Rachel woke her up wailing in the living room because she was watching some lion documentary and ‘the new Simba killed all the babies!’. </p><p>“Yes, and that salsa you like,” Rachel answered, interrupting Quinn’s thoughts on rating systems for animal shows, proudly pointing to the mound of salsa. </p><p>Feeling spoiled and loving every second of it, Quinn gleefully settled on a stool and pulled her plate into range. “Wow, I don’t know what to say. Thank you!”</p><p>“You’re welcome, and I’m sorry - again - for being such a brat this morning.” Rachel beamed as Quinn started in on her breakfast with an appreciative moan. “It’s good to know I can still do something right.”</p><p>“You’re perfect,” Quinn said around a mouthful, eyes near rolling back in bliss. “You even made bacon!”</p><p>“Yes, and while you do penance for this meal on a treadmill later, I, too, shall atone by making a donation to an animal charity later for the bacon and eggs,” Rachel sighed, turning to her own cruelty free meal.</p><p>“What time are your Dads getting in?” Quinn asked, changing the subject before Rachel thought too much about the crispy pork she was enjoying. </p><p>“Mm, I’ll have to check again... sometime late this afternoon though,” Rachel replied. She frowned a little at the dull pain she felt and rubbed at her stomach to try and soothe it. Having heavily researched pregnancy and childbirth, along with bothering their doctor, she knew it was perfectly normal to feel small contractions – still they made her nervous and it wasn’t the most pleasant sensation in the world. Fortunately, Quinn had personal experience with the crampy feeling so she remained calm about them, which in turn helped Rachel stay calm. </p><p>Mostly. </p><p>She didn’t want to say anything, because she didn’t want to make Quinn anxious, but she had this unshakeable feeling that their children might be arriving sooner than expected. Their doctor had told them that twins were often born early, which had been both exciting and slightly terrifying. Not that Rachel wasn’t more than ready to have them out of her, but she wanted them to be ready. She didn’t think that she or Quinn would handle complications well.</p><p>That train of thought immediately soured her mood and she cradled her belly more firmly, thumbs still working in small circles. </p><p>“Are they moving around a lot,” Quinn asked, setting her fork down and watching Rachel curiously. </p><p>“N-no, I just…” Rachel wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence, so she didn’t bother with trying. Quinn was off her stool in a second and wrapping Rachel up in a warm embrace. Rachel leaned into it, savoring the safe feeling and suddenly wanting to cry because Quinn had to leave soon. She didn’t want Quinn to go to work; she wanted her to stay home and hold her all day like that. “I miss you already and you haven’t even left yet.”</p><p>“I can take the day off,” Quinn offered without a second hesitation, frowning at Rachel’s timid tone. Ever since her abduction after their engagement Rachel had moments where she just didn’t feel safe and Quinn fully blamed herself for it. With the pregnancy hormones only enhancing that, there’d been more than one time when Quinn had left work to run home and comfort Rachel before she could lock herself in the bedroom or bathroom again. “Let me call, I’ll stay home.”</p><p>“No,” Rachel shook her head, whining when Quinn started to pull away. “No, I’m okay. Dad and Daddy will be here soon enough and you need to save leave for after the twins are born.”</p><p>“Rachel, I’m not going to leave you here if you need me,” Quinn said, swaying them gently from side to side. </p><p>“Finish your breakfast and go to work, Quinn,” Rachel ordered, very reluctantly pushing Quinn away. “I’m fine.” </p><p>“If you’re sure.” Quinn kept an eye on her as she finished her food. If Rachel gave even the slightest of signs that she was feeling scared Quinn would leave for maybe an hour and then make up an excuse for Rachel as to why she was sent home. </p><p>Rachel flashed a quick smile at Quinn and ducked to kiss a pale cheek – not going anywhere near a mouth that had recently had eggs, bacon, and dairy products in it. “Stop worrying; you’ll give yourself an ulcer.”</p><p>---</p><p>Rachel hated the airport.</p><p>It was noisy, crowded, dirty, and also noisy in a way unlike the type of noise she could appreciate - there was nothing musical or familiar about the wall of sound that occurred in airports. Voices were blending and overlapping, punctuated by the sounds of machines and the clatter of this and that. She was already developing a headache and she’d barely been inside for five minutes. Not to mention that her oversensitive sense of smell made the airport absolutely repugnant. She could smell everything and it made her queasy on top of the headache. </p><p>In other words, it was a cesspool. </p><p>Seated in the arrival waiting area, she rubbed at her temples and continued to look for any sign of her fathers. She’d been feeling, for lack of a better term, ‘crampy’ for the past week and to say that it was making her irritable would be putting it mildly. It’s not that she wanted to yell at her wife or burst into tears over stupid things, but her body hurt and she was so tired of being pregnant. She just wanted to be able to shave her own legs and put on her own socks and a million other simple things that she couldn’t do anymore. Not to mention that fact that everyone treated her like she was incapable of thinking for herself simply because she was expecting. </p><p>Reaching into her purse for her phone so she could send a quick text to Quinn, Rachel saw a stranger that seemed to be attempting a stealthy game of musical chairs to get closer to her.</p><p>Rachel knew that look and she knew the woman approaching her was probably a very lovely, normal, curious person. She also knew that she’d rather gnaw her own arm off than allow another stranger to touch her stomach and, by proxy, her babies. When she’d first started showing she had been accepting of a few strange hands, but as her pregnancy progressed she’d realized that it was rather rude of people to walk up and touch her. It was still her body, damn it, even if it was incubating two other miniature humans at the moment. You didn’t see her running up to cup her hands on the peculiarly bulbous forehead of the gentlemen across from her! Where were people’s manners? Quinn could touch, and sometimes Allison or Ryan if they were invited to, but only Quinn was allowed VIP access - they were her children too, after all. Plus, well, Rachel rather enjoyed having contact with her wife.  </p><p>But this woman was neither her wife nor a friend, but yet another strange person encroaching on Rachel’s territory. Clearing her throat to let the woman know she was on to her, Rachel turned awkwardly in her seat to address the stranger directly. “Yes, hello, I see you over there. May I assume that you are not a fan wanting an autograph?”</p><p>The poor woman looked like a particularly stupid deer in headlights, and Rachel fought the urge to snort. When deer-eyes shook her head no, Rachel nodded and splayed both her hands protectively over her children’s temporary home. “Do you know who I am?”</p><p>Another head shake, which Rachel found doubly insulting. “I see, so you are, in fact, trying to get next to me so you can strike up a conversation and put your hands on my enormous stomach? Even though we do not know each other in the slightest?”</p><p>A nod.</p><p>“Lady, I’m going to say this as nicely as I can.” Rachel sighed and pinned the woman with a disapproving glare. “I don’t have my rape whistle on me, but if you touch my belly I will start screaming so loudly that you will fall down from the force of it and dogs from all over the city will come running to your prone form. I will then laugh, somewhat crazily, as they pee on you. Got it? I don’t mean to be rude – well maybe I do, actually – but I would greatly appreciate it if you would respect my space, my body, and my unborn children.”</p><p>“My baby!” Hiram squealed upon seeing Rachel waiting for him, completely disrupting the verbal smackdown Rachel had been delivering. Not that she minded. Smiling warmly she heaved herself up and waddled forward into his welcoming arms, leaving the stupefied stranger behind her. </p><p>“Hello, Dad,” she said into his shoulder and then leaned back to accept his kiss to her cheek. Of course he then reached automatically for her stomach and she wanted to slap her forehead in exasperation. At least he was family though, and not some random lady who didn’t even know she was a Tony Award-winning Broadway actress.</p><p>“I can’t wait to see them!” Hiram gushed, and then directed his voice down to where his hands were lightly pressed. “You hear me, little darlings? Grandpa wants to meet you!”</p><p>“Hi, Rach,” Leroy more calmly called, stooping to kiss the crown of Rachel’s head. “How are you?”</p><p>“Very ready to have my body back,” Rachel answered, gently removing Hiram’s hands from her. “I feel like an animal at the petting zoo.”</p><p>Leroy chuckled and raised his large hands, “I won’t ask then.”</p><p>“Where’s my daughter-in-law?” Hiram asked, scanning around the airport.</p><p>“She had to go to work today,” Rachel said, frowning slightly as she rubbed at her belly. “She’ll be home for dinner though. Did you guys want to go out into the city tonight, or stay in?”</p><p>“Whatever is easiest for you,” Leroy said, and wrapped his arm around her slender shoulders. “Let’s get our bags and get you home though. You don’t look very comfortable.”</p><p>Annoyance flared swiftly, but Rachel bit it back and smiled broadly at him. “Sure.”</p><p>“So you two are set on the names? You’re positive I can’t lobby for Isabella one more time?” Hiram asked, complete with wide puppy eyes.</p><p>“Nope, sorry Dad, Isabella is out due to Twilight complications,” Rachel said and patted his arm consolingly. “Elizabeth Jane and Olivia Anne Fabray have been decided on and I already have blankets with their names embroidered…” A muted ‘pop!’ sounded and Rachel froze completely, eyes widening as a gush of warm liquid ran down her legs. She gaped at her fathers who stared right back at her, all three with matching sets of shocked expressions. Rachel looked down at the puddle under her and barely had the chance to think about how gross she found the situation before a sharp pang stabbed through her.</p><p>Watching Rachel keel over and grip onto Leroy’s arm, Hiram said the very first thing that popped into his head.</p><p>“It’s in your shoes!”</p><p>---  </p><p>“My wife has been possessed by Santana Lopez,” Quinn complained to Ryan as they climbed up a steep set of stairs. </p><p>“I don’t know, I thought it was pretty awesome when she chewed Conrad out for staring at her boobs,” Ryan said, holding open the door for Quinn to exit first. “I actually wrote that down it was so awesome. I only wish I’d gotten it on video.”</p><p>“I love her - I do - and I know I probably deserve some of this because of how I was when I was pregnant, but… is it awful of me to say that I miss the Rachel of before?” Quinn directed her question to the shoddy ceiling. God didn’t answer, of course, and the only response Ryan gave was a laugh. “It’s not funny.”</p><p>“Quinn, she’s carrying your children... I’m pretty sure that you should just shut up,” Ryan said. “Besides, it’ll be over soon and you’ll both be crazy because you’ll have two mini-Rachel’s to deal with. If they inherit that voice of hers you’re going to be so sleep deprived, I’d bet both of you will be channeling your inner Lopez.” </p><p>“I can’t think about this anymore,” Quinn said with a wince. “Let’s just talk to this guy and get out of this creepy place.”</p><p>“Aw, Qball, the second you see their little faces it’ll all be worth it,” Ryan comforted. He pushed her slightly behind him and took point to knock on the door. It’s not that he was expecting any sort of action, but Rachel had cornered him early on in her pregnancy and threatened his testicles if anything bad happened to Quinn. He was just taking some extra precautions, was all.</p><p>“I know,” Quinn said distantly. When he looked back at her he found a far-away and somewhat sad expression on her face. </p><p>Knowing what was going on in her head, he took a moment to one-armed hug her briefly before he rapped his knuckles on the faded green door. It opened seconds later and a kindly old man stood before them in a pair of striped boxers, slippers, and nothing else.</p><p>Ryan blinked a couple of times then schooled his features. Quinn bit into her lip and directed her gaze back on the ceiling. </p><p>“Uh, sir, I’m Agent Peterson with the FBI. I’m looking for a Randy Beasley,” Ryan said politely.</p><p>“He ain’t here,” the older gentleman said and rattled his cane against the door frame. “He’s supposed to be here with dinner soon.”</p><p>“Sir, this is my card, could you have him call as soon as he gets in?” Quinn asked politely, handing over her card and steadfastly staring directly over the man’s shoulder.</p><p>He took the card from her, squinted at it, nodded, and then abruptly closed the door in Ryan’s face. </p><p>“Pleasant fellow,” Ryan commented, “Snappy dresser.”</p><p>Quinn burst into giggles, muffled only by her hand. </p><p>“We’re taking the elevator this time, I know you’re claustrophobic but I think we might actually fall through those rickety things,” he said, steering her back towards the elevator.</p><p>“If the stairs are questionable what makes you think that the elevator is a better option?” Quinn questioned but followed his lead nevertheless. The doors opened into the tiny space and she had to swallow back a swell of anxiety already, just seeing it. There was another guy already in the elevator and when Quinn saw the bags in his hand she quickly realized that it had to be one Randy Beasley. “Mr. Beasley? Randy Beasley?” She questioned with a raised eyebrow, already reaching for her credentials.</p><p>It was a mistake though, he got a glimpse of the pistol resting on her hip and then all hell broke loose. He tossed the bags at her, punched Ryan in the jaw and stepped back into the elevator as the doors closed.</p><p>Covered in Chinese food, Quinn looked at Ryan, who was swearing and holding his chin and glaring murderously at the elevator.</p><p>“Seriously?” Quinn asked no one in particular.</p><p>Clearly furious, Ryan growled and pointed at the top of the elevator where dim lights were showing the floors. “He’s headed for the parking garage.”</p><p>“Wha – “ Quinn started to say but was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. She pulled it out even as she scrambled after Ryan back into the stairwell. The number flashing indicated it was her wife and Quinn answered it, unable to stop chasing after their suspect but unwilling to not pick up the call. “Rachel?”</p><p>“Qu- you hea- me?”</p><p>There were very few reasons why Rachel would be calling, and Quinn felt her heart leap just a little further up into her throat. “Rachel?” Quinn panted, slightly louder than normal because she could still hear Rachel speaking in broken sentences. “Superstar?”</p><p>“Quinn! It’s happening!”</p><p>The doctor had warned them that it was likely - twins were often early - but Quinn still felt like she’d been slapped. She nearly fell down the steps. “Now?” She asked, immediately feeling stupid after, but she was surprised. </p><p>“Yes, now! Quinn, I need you!” </p><p>Rachel sounded scared and that was more than enough to send Quinn’s anxiety through the roof. “I’m coming, I’ll… Rachel I’m on my way, I’m leaving right now. Are your Dads there?”</p><p>She heard the shuffling of Rachel handing off the phone and then together she and Ryan slammed through the door to the garage, neither paying attention to the signs above the door. Her phone beeped in her hand, informing her that the connection had been lost and when she looked up she saw a car pulling out of the garage and the heavy gate sliding in behind it.</p><p>“Ryan… did we just get locked in here?”</p><p>---</p><p>Leroy Berry liked to think that he was a calm, laid-back, sort of man, but driving his daughters Mini-Cooper through New York traffic while she screamed in the back seat was making him feel, well, more like he assumed Hiram would normally feel.</p><p>And judging from Hiram’s face, he was about ready to either pass out or jump out the window.</p><p>“Take the next left,” the GPS chirped up helpfully.</p><p>“No! That’s the wrong way, you fucking idiot!” Rachel shrieked, lip curled and claw-like hands digging into the seat. “For fuck’s sake, I’m going to kill Quinn. Turn that thing off!”</p><p>“Make a legal U-Turn,” said the GPS.</p><p>Leroy stared at the GPS and tried not to shudder as he heard Rachel snarling behind him. He had no idea how to turn off the little device, so there was no way to do as asked. She wailed again, and he looked in the rearview mirror in time to see Hiram squeak in terror when Rachel’s hands latched onto his forearm.</p><p>“If you don’t get us to the hospital right now these babies are going to be born in this car!” Rachel yelled, head thrown back in utter agony. “Get us there now!”</p><p>“Rachel, sweetheart, I don’t know where I’m going,” Leroy said carefully, wincing as she growled.</p><p>“Fine, use Quinn’s damn GPS, pull over and ask directions from someone on the street, call 911, or grow wings and fly me to the hospital, I don’t care, just hurry up! And will someone please find my wife?”</p><p>Hiram’s wide brown eyes found Leroy’s in the mirror, horror written there quite clearly.</p><p>---</p><p>“We can not be locked in here!” Quinn raged, yanking and pounding on the heavy steel door. She snarled and slapped the sign on it, warning them that the lock was broken. “My wife is in labor!”</p><p>“Does negotiating with non-sentient objects often work for you? I tried arguing with my toaster once and it retaliated by burning my muffin,” Ryan said, sitting on the ground and rubbing at his temples.</p><p>“This isn’t funny,” Quinn snapped and kicked the door for good measure. “How is this happening?”</p><p>“Well, it’s an incredibly old building,” Ryan explained, oddly calm – which was grating harder than usual on Quinn’s last nerve. As though he could read her thoughts he tilted his head back and shrugged up at her. “Q, freaking out isn’t going to get us out of here. We just have to wait until someone comes down, and, I mean, it’s not even that late yet so I’m sure any moment now…”</p><p>“I don’t have ‘any moment now’! Rachel – is – in – labor!” Quinn roared, her voice echoing around the concrete bunker. “So instead of this ill-timed calm you have found, could you please get off your boney ass and help me find a way out of here?”</p><p>“Quinn, what exactly do you want me to do? Tunnel us out with a spoon? I don’t even have a spoon,” Ryan scratched at his head and looked around the gloomy garage. “What are the facts? The door is broken and we can’t get out that way. There’s a key-code needed for some unfathomable reason for us to get through the gate. We’re stuck until someone comes down and lets us out. Working yourself into a frenzy isn’t going to make this happen any faster.”</p><p>“I promised myself that I would be everything for Rachel that no-one was for me, Ryan,” Quinn hissed, kicking the door again. “I’m not going to sit around when she needs me the most. I can’t let her do this alone.”</p><p>Hearing the undiluted pain in her voice, Ryan climbed to his feet and drew her in for a hug. She resisted at first and then went almost limp against him, holding onto his biceps and crying into his chest. He maneuvered them over to the wall and slid down, dragging her with him, and then simply held onto her and let her cry.</p><p>“She’s in so much pain right now and it’s confusing and scary and I should be there!” Quinn cried. “And then, when it’s over it’s… it’s like you’ve been living in the dark your whole life and then you see the sun for the first time. There’s a baby in your arms and I want to see that look on Rachel’s face. I want the real experience with her. I want to hold my children and know that I get to keep them this time.”</p><p>“Shhh, Q,” Ryan consoled, or tried to. It was hard for him to keep a lid on his own emotions, hearing her talk like that. He tried to think of something to say that might make her feel better but when he opened his mouth to speak, the lights went out. They both stiffened in the inky darkness, and Quinn’s sniffles came to an abrupt halt. “Hey… remember when we assumed that the crazy, Chinese food tossing, guy was in the car that left?”</p><p>---</p><p>To say that Rachel wasn’t happy wouldn’t be exactly true. She was ecstatic that her babies were about to be born, which meant she would no longer be pregnant! However, as much as she was looking forward to finally welcoming her daughters into the world, the sudden reality of how that would happen was making her feel a bit faint. It was disturbing enough when people equated giving birth as squeezing a watermelon out of grape – and she was seriously going to strangle Ryan for putting that image into her head – but now thinking about it happening…</p><p>“I can’t do this,” she said, clutching at Hiram’s hand and staring up at the ceiling in her delivery room. “I can’t - I can’t do this!”</p><p>“You’re going to be fine,” Leroy assured her from the other side of the bed. But Rachel was busy looking into Hiram’s panicked eyes and that was so not helping. “The epidural’s on its way and then it’ll be smooth sailing from there.” I think, he thought, not really sure how the whole birthing process was going to play out. Not that he’d say that to Rachel or Hiram. It wasn’t as if he’d ever given birth before and they hadn’t been allowed back with Shelby when Rachel was born. </p><p>“Smooth sailing? Why don’t you have a needle inserted into your spine and then tell me how that’s smooth fucking sailing,” she snarled. “Or, better yet, trade me places and give birth to your own grandchildren.”</p><p>Hiram kept his mouth shut, as he had been doing the entire time, but his eyes kept getting wider and wider each time Rachel spoke. Leroy was sure his husband’s eyes were going to be permanently anime sized… He also fully expected there to be nightmares of this particular adventure. </p><p>“I’m sorry, I know it hurts,” Leroy tried. </p><p>“I want Quinn,” Rachel gasped, groaning as a contraction ripped through her. “Where is she?”</p><p>“I don’t know, Princess,” Leroy said with a wince as Rachel clamped down on his fingers. “The line disconnected.”</p><p>“So you just decided that meant you were done? You didn’t think to call her back?” Rachel seethed, blatantly ignoring Hiram’s attempts at ‘Lamaze’ breathing. “Of all the times for her to be missing in action! I’m going to LoJack her ankle!”</p><p>Leroy took in his daughter’s bared teeth and the angry flash in her eyes and decided that Quinn owed him - big time. “I’m sure she’s on her way,” he offered, sighing when Rachel’s grip slackened. He had a feeling his fingers were going to be completely deformed by the time the twins were delivered.</p><p>“I need her,” Rachel sobbed and Hiram suddenly came back to life, stroking back sweaty hair and wiping Rachel’s tears. “Where is she? I need her… I’m – I’m going to kill her! How could she agree with me about having children knowing how much this hurts? What a - what a bitch!”</p><p>Hiram’s eyebrows shot up as he looked at Leroy over the head of their weeping child. Leroy couldn’t do much more than shrug and try to shush Rachel who was now crying over the fact that she’d called Quinn a bitch.</p><p>“Nurse?” Hiram asked calmly, though Leroy heard the tremor lurking under the tone. “Morphine?”</p><p>“Sir, we can‘t administer morphine for labor pains.”</p><p>“Not for her,” Hiram said, shaking his head and jerked his free thumb at his chest. “For me.”</p><p>As if to help with his argument Rachel let go of Hiram’s hand for just a second before another contraction slammed into her. With a high pitched cry she reached up and grabbed a handful of Hiram’s stylish sweater (and the chest hair under it), yanking him down to her. Hiram’s strangled keen made Leroy wince in sympathy.</p><p>“Or maybe some vodka to take the edge off?” Leroy suggested. </p><p>---</p><p>Squinting into the darkness did not help Quinn see any better, but she shivered and continued to try anyway. There was at least some light still from the exit sign above the door and the glow of her and Ryan’s cell phone flashlights. </p><p>“What are you thinking?” Ryan whispered down at her, standing just slightly in front of her.</p><p>“I’m thinking we should stick together and search this damn place,” Quinn hissed back, gripping her pistol tightly in her free hand. </p><p>“I’m on point,” Ryan told her, already striding ahead. He felt more than saw Quinn following along without argument, her body heat radiating into his side. With his eyesight diminished in the dark all his other senses were compensating – he could hear everything and it was more than a little disconcerting. Quinn’s rapid breath, the vague sounds of traffic outside their prison, even his own heartbeat sounded loud to him in the darkness The faint glow of their cell phones provided an eerie sort of light but not much, not enough for them to get the drop on their attacker, so not really an advantage at all. “Stay close.”</p><p>Quinn hummed softly, her breath hitching as they moved towards the line of cars nearest to them. They crept along, footfalls soft but still loud in straining ears.</p><p>Ryan had just been thinking that there was no way they were going to be able to sneak up on the perp when a shadow detached from a car bumper and flew into them. </p><p>Weapons and cell phones went skittering across the floor and three bodies slapped into the concrete, an odd popping noise accompanying the sound of impact. Ryan heard Quinn yell just as his head bounced off the ground. Stunned, he laid on his back for a moment, nausea rolling over him when he tried to sit up. The world seemed to tilt and he flopped back with a groan, not able to sit up just yet. His hands patted around him, searching for his phone or weapon, something. Forcing his eyes open and gritting his teeth against the urge to throw up, he turned and saw the light of a phone, miraculously still on despite the abuse it had suffered. Sluggishly, he reached for it and turned the light to his other side where he could hear a scuffle going on.</p><p>“I don’t care what you did, I don’t care about you, I just want out of this garage so give me the code for the door or I’m going to cave your head in,” Quinn growled, using all of her weight to press her forearm down against his throat. Her right arm dangled at her side oddly, and Ryan knew it was most likely dislocated, if not broken. </p><p>“Quinn,” Ryan called, holding the back of his head as he struggled to his knees actually afraid that she’d make good on that threat. “Quinn, easy.”</p><p>“Shut up, Ryan,” Quinn said lowly, dangerously. “I don’t have time for this.”</p><p>Mr. Randy Beasley, a low life drug dealer who had not anticipated his day ending like this, looked up at Quinn with wide eyes, his mouth flapping open and closed as his hands feebly tried to push her off of him. </p><p>“No, fight over. I won. Knock it off. Give me the code.”</p><p>“Quinn,” Ryan said again, stumbling over to his enraged partner and gently touching her shoulder. “Quinn, he can’t talk with you cutting of his air. Just back off for a second.”</p><p>He was worried she wouldn’t listen as a tense few seconds passed and she seemed like she’d rather stay where she was. Eventually though she sagged, and the pressure came off Beasley’s neck as he wheezed pathetically.</p><p>“Dude, give her the code,” Ryan told him, not exactly thrilled with the guy either, but Quinn would be in serious doo-doo if she killed him.</p><p>And then Rachel would follow through and he would be without his boys.</p><p>That was so not happening.</p><p>Beasley rasped out the code for the door and Quinn was off of him in a flash, leaving Ryan to handcuff him while she raced blindly for the little glow of the keypad. </p><p>“Her wife’s in labor,” Ryan explained to the groaning man under his knee as he cinched the cuffs tight. “Probably a bad day to pick a fight.”</p><p>---</p><p>Rachel was beside herself. First the labor, which had been worse than she’d anticipated - imagine that - and then being told that one of her babies was in the wrong position and she’d have to have a C-Section.</p><p>All of this without Quinn. </p><p>Crying quietly, Rachel stared up at the ceiling and tried to sort through her tangled feelings. She wasn’t in pain – she couldn’t even feel the lower half of her body – but she was scared. Quinn could have been hurt, had to have been hurt if she wasn’t returning calls or already at the hospital. That was the only reason Rachel could come up with for her absence and it was terrifying. More than just that, she was afraid for her babies, even though the doctor assured her that they were going to be fine. The fact that something had gone wrong already, no matter how small the problem may have been, was overwhelming. There was nothing she could do to help, at all; she was utterly helpless. Her children’s lives were in the hands of the doctor. She knew that C-Sections were fairly routine and that their doctor was very competent and capable, but still… </p><p>Her Dads were there, and they were wonderful, of course, but they weren’t Quinn, and Rachel was now in the operating room terrified that her wife was about to miss the delivery. </p><p>Leroy was outside, suited up and waiting for the okay to come inside. As nice as that was, Rachel couldn’t help but cry, because she wanted - she needed - Quinn.</p><p>The drape was already up and blocking her view of the surgery, so she couldn’t see much, but she heard the door open.</p><p>Like a bruised angel - her arm in a sling and wearing a ‘bunny suit’ - Quinn appeared in the operating room.</p><p>“Quinn?” Rachel cried when she caught sight of her. “Quinn!”</p><p>“I’m here. I’m here, Rachel,” Quinn rushed out, leaning over to kiss Rachel’s sweat slicked hairline. “Are you okay? Leroy told me what was going on.”</p><p>“I’m just so happy to see you, I thought you were going to miss it,” Rachel sobbed. “It doesn’t hurt; I was just so scared and you weren’t here.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Rachel, there was a - it doesn’t matter, I’ll tell you all about it later, okay? I’m here now,” Quinn said. She gently touched Rachel’s face and leaned around the drape to see the staff working on Rachel’s stomach. “We’re about to be moms.”</p><p>“We are,” Rachel replied, awe clear in her exhausted tone. “I’m so ready.”</p><p>“You can’t feel anything, right?” Quinn asked anxiously, watching them digging into Rachel with a grimace. </p><p>“Kind of. I can tell they’re doing stuff,” Rachel said. “Can you see?”</p><p>“You can stand up when they’re being delivered,” the anesthesiologist said kindly from the other side of Rachel’s head. </p><p>Quinn nodded jerkily and sagged down onto the stool near her, knees ready to give out anyway. She was grateful for the seat; Rachel would never let her live it down if she passed out at such a pivotal moment. “I love you,” she said earnestly, watching Rachel’s face closely for any sign of discomfort.</p><p>“I love you, too, but I’m still going to yell at you later,” Rachel warned. She waved her hand around awkwardly, trying to grab Quinn’s but unable to get her body to move the way she wanted it to. Fortunately, Quinn knew what she was attempting and quickly took hold of the flailing hand, holding tightly. </p><p>“I deserve it,” Quinn agreed, bowing her head, her thumb moving back and forth over Rachel’s soft skin. “I’m really sorry.”</p><p>“Just don’t do it again,” Rachel replied, relishing the comforting contact that she’d been missing. “Also I think you owe my Dads an apology, I made Dad cry and Daddy looked fairly traumatized.”</p><p>Quinn winced, remembering her own labor and some of the things she’d shouted in the throes of unimaginable pain. “I will make amends to every injured party,” she promised. “And I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p>Rachel turned her head, locking eyes with Quinn, and the moment seemed to fall on both of them suddenly. Quinn’s mouth fell open but a smile twitched at the corner and Rachel started to cry again, halfway laughing, both of them completely overwhelmed with what was happening.</p><p>“Okay, ladies, here we go,” the doctor called, breaking the moment. Quinn’s head snapped over and she kept hold of Rachel’s hand as she shakily got back to her feet, peering over the barrier, and gasping quietly at the sight of the doctor reaching into Rachel’s abdomen.</p><p>It was time.</p><p>---</p><p>Ryan wondered if there would ever be a time where he wasn’t running into a hospital, though he figured it was a hospital - so if you were there was probably something pretty serious was going down - thus the running.</p><p>Still.</p><p>Allison was right at his heels as they raced into the building, and she looked just as harried as he felt. They slammed together into the nurse’s station, out of breath from their run.</p><p>Maybe Allison had a point about him parking out in the ‘boondocks’, but his Charger was his baby and he’d seen the way people drove in parking lots. The mere thought of a door ding made him want to cry.</p><p>“We’re here to see the Fabrays,” he said hopefully, trying to put on his most charming smile but feeling that it might not work as well with the bruise forming on his jaw. </p><p>He must have gotten pity points, or else Allison’s sweet smile might have done the trick, but either way the nurse gave them the room number with a smile of her own and they took off again. This time at a more sedate pace.</p><p>Ryan had already gotten in trouble once for running in the hospital halls.</p><p>There were some scary nurses in that place.</p><p>Allison was half obscured by the balloons and flowers in her arms, and Ryan had two pink stuffed bunnies in his hands. In retrospect he probably should have offered to carry the heavy flower pot thingy and let her carry the bunnies, but it was too late for that, so he’d just have to hurry so her arms didn’t get tired. </p><p>When they arrived at the door Ryan peeked his head carefully around the corner, not wanting to startle anyone. He was greeted by four very tired looking people. Quinn smiled at him, teeth flashing in the soft light, and waved for him to come in. </p><p>“Hey guys,” Rachel whispered, propped up on pillows in her hospital bed. “Come on in.”</p><p>His eyes locked onto the small bundle in Rachel’s arms, and he felt like he was coming in late to church or something, with everyone speaking in those hushed whispers and moving so slowly.</p><p>Fortunately Allison wasn’t as shy as he was.</p><p>“How are you?” she asked, stepping confidently up to Rachel’s side and depositing the flowers on the table next to her. </p><p>“Groggy. A little sore,” Rachel answered, nevertheless beaming with pride as Allison leaned over to get a look at the baby. “Oh, um, Ryan, Allison... my Dads Leroy and Hiram,” she introduced, inclining her head towards the room’s other occupants. </p><p>Quinn stood carefully from the bed and dropped a quick kiss to Rachel’s head before walking over to where Ryan stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. She took the bunnies from his hands and set them in a nearby chair before she hugged him. “Hi, partner.”</p><p>“Hey, Mama Bear,” he managed, still watching Allison and Rachel. </p><p>“Would you like to meet your Godchildren?” she asked, leaning back from him and quirking an eyebrow. </p><p>Ryan swallowed hard but nodded, finally meeting her amused gaze. “Yeah.”</p><p>“Rachel has Eliza,” Quinn explained, gently taking his arm and steering him towards her in-laws. “Hiram there has Olivia.”</p><p>“‘Kay,” he said, now completely mesmerized by this other tiny bundle. “Hi, I’m Ryan.”</p><p>“Quinn’s partner,” Leroy said, grinning as he took in the stupefied look on the man’s face. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Leroy.”</p><p>Hiram pried his eyes off of Olivia’s peaceful face and smiled up at this new person by way of greeting. </p><p>“Would you like to hold her?” Quinn asked, smothering a laugh at Hiram’s frown. </p><p>“Can I?” Ryan wanted to, oh did he want to, but he was terrified at the same time. The baby was so small and fragile looking and his hands were giant and calloused... what if he dropped her? Oh God. “I - maybe it’s not a good idea?”</p><p>“You’ll be fine,” Leroy assured him, nudging Hiram until he moved so Ryan could take his place. “See, you’ll be sitting down and we’ll help you hold her the right way.”</p><p>Still feeling nervous, Ryan turned to ask for Rachel’s permission only to find her half asleep on Allison’s shoulder. Allison grinned over at him, Eliza in her arms. “It’s fine, Ryan; you’re not going to hurt her.”</p><p>Quinn took Olivia from Hiram, supporting her head and whispering soft ‘hellos’ to her newborn. “Sit down, buddy,” she coached gently, eyes shining wetly up at him. “I want you to meet my daughter.”</p><p>Ryan all but collapsed into the chair and fidgeted, unsure what to do with his arms that suddenly felt way too long. Quinn shook her head and bent down to hand him the baby while Leroy talked him through how to take her. </p><p>And then there she was, this slight weight in his arms, bundled in the softest blanket he’d ever felt. Ryan knew his mouth was open and couldn’t bring himself to care. Quinn stroked the blanket back further from Olivia’s face, letting Ryan get a full look. “She has Rachel’s hair,” Ryan observed and glanced up at Quinn with a crooked smile. “I thought babies were bald.”</p><p>Quinn shook her head, reaching to run a finger lightly down Olivia’s cheek, as Ryan gasped when the baby moved in his arms, squirming at the contact. </p><p>“She’s gorgeous,” he gushed, utterly gobsmacked. “And there’s two of them.”</p><p>“Yes, Ryan, that’s what twins means,” Quinn teased good naturedly, earning her a chuckle from Hiram and Leroy who were both draped over the chair as close to their granddaughter as possible. </p><p>“Does...”</p><p>“Eliza,” Quinn supplied when he floundered.</p><p>“Does Eliza look just like her?” he asked, hesitantly touching his finger to that crown of silky dark hair.</p><p>“Mhm, they’re identical twins,” Quinn said, restraining herself from making another smart-ass comment. Clearly Ryan had been knocked just as silly as she had been the moment she saw them. </p><p>“How will you tell them apart?” He wondered, now utterly obsessed with the feeling of that hair under his finger. </p><p>“We have different color clothing for them at home. For now they have hospital bracelets,” Quinn said patiently.</p><p>Then Olivia stirred again and her eyes opened, drawing another awed gasp from Ryan’s lips. She stared right up at him and he was sure his heart stopped.</p><p>“Her eyes are blue,” he said, surprised. </p><p>“They’ll probably change,” Quinn responded. “I’m hoping they’ll have Rachel’s eye color.”</p><p>“They’re going to look just like her,” Ryan predicted. “Hey, Ms. Olivia,” he murmured, smiling widely when it seemed like she was listening to him. “I’m your Uncle Ryan. You should know that you’ve got the best family in the whole world. I promise that I’m always going to be here to protect you and listen to you and bring you ice cream when you’re having a bad day,” he babbled. “I’m going to do everything I can to be the best uncle, because you deserve the best.”</p><p>A hand against his shoulder stopped him and he looked up to see Quinn looking at him with that lopsided smile and he released the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. </p><p>“You’re going to be the greatest uncle,” she told him. “You’re already the best brother I never asked for.”</p><p>“Don’t tell them I went all googly eyed the first time I held them,” Ryan pleaded.</p><p>“Never,” Quinn agreed. “But the first time you cave in to the puppy dog eyes you’re done for.”</p>
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